Relationship Woes

When you don't have it, you long for it; when you have it, you wish you're never involved in the first place.

They say, "Be careful what you wish for", and it's true. (Honestly, I dunno who "they" are, but "they" seems to have a lot to say, and I hate "them" for always being right.) I used to wish that I wouldn't live a crappy single life, so getting attached was the best thing that happened to me this year. This person is very nice to me, treats me well, took care of me when I was sick… I'm a sucker for the little things people do for me, and he is good at those "little things". It's really great not to live a lonely and boring life anymore.

But of late I've been questioning myself: What is love? How far would you love somebody? Does loving someone meaning that you will forgive the person no matter what he or she does? That you will be able to see pass the person's flaws and mistakes, and continue to love the person until the end of time?

In reality, a husband who finds his wife cheating on him would go into a raging temper, and would possibly kill her for ruining his manly-man image; whereas a wife who finds out about his unfaithful husband would have to deal with the fact that the man who used to love her doesn't love him anymore. The worse part of all this is: the society agrees that a woman should always stay faithful to her husband. But what happens when a man is unfaithful? He gets away with it and the society will blame the wife for not doing a good job, or else the husband wouldn't have left.

But what happens when your other half tells you that he or she is unfaithful to you, and claiming that he or she will not let it happen again? Will you forgive this person? Now do remember that this is a person that you claim to love forever and ever with your life, so help you God. After all, this person came clean to you and admitted his or her wrong doing. God did teach us to be forgiving, you know.

Well, here's what I think: Screw God's teaching. Screw being a forgiving person. I say, we should burn these people at the stakes, like what they do to the witches in the olden days!!!

Okay, just kidding.

Yes, I think people like this should be punished, but not to the extent that you burn alive. It's so very wrong for them to do what they did in the first place. But I'm just curious: How many of you out there will see pass what had happened and forgive them for what they did? My guess is: 100% of the guys out there will agree to the burning, while 50% (or more) of the women out there will say that they will look pass the flaws and forgive the person eventually.

Here's my question to all of you, who are willing to give a feedback:

1. What would you do if your other half tells you what he (or she) did?
2. Will you be able to forgive this person's infidelity?
3. How many of you out there will see pass what had happened?

A Jessism © 16072006

Jess In Aussie

Took my first long-distance vacation to Australia recently. But somehow, my vaccation turned into a rumour that goes something like: "jess migrated to Australia, with his boyfriend." Right... if only any of it were true.

Anyway... My flight touched down in Melbourne on 29 June. It was mid-winter when I reached, but when I alight from the plane, I didn't feel any difference. Melbourne ain't that bad, it's just like Genting Highlands. After collecting my luggage, met up with my friend (Olivia), and step out of the airport, all I can think of is: "Bloody-fucking-hell! This place is like a freezer!!" The temperature that night was only 13C, which technically speaking it shouldn't be freezing cold. But thanks in no small part to the strong wind; this place feels like an open air freezer. During the day, when the sun is out, the place is warm and bearable, but when the sun sets, it's like hell freezes over all over again.

Took a flight to Sydney, two days after I reached Melbourne. The air in Sydney is not as cold compared to Melbourne, but it is also not as clean. Although things are well organized, you can still see rubbish everywhere and people spitting on the streets, especially in Chinatown. I then head on to the Goldcoast, after a 3-day-2-night stay in Sydney. A very beautiful place to be, the Goldcoast is very beach boy's and surfer's paradise: beautiful sandy beaches, clean ocean water, nice beautiful waves, seagulls attacking people with food... I'm not kidding. The seagulls here are scary. The minute they see food being left unattended, all hell breaks loose!

Despite my complain of how dirty Sydney is, compared to the Goldcoast and Melbourne, Malaysia is still the worst! Apart from our dirty surroundings in Malaysia, we also came in third in Readers' Digest's recent study, as the country with the rudest people!

Let's start with the people: I don't know how they accomplish this, but people here are darn polite! You'll hear people greeting one another on the street, you hear people thanking the bus driver as they alight from the bus, the car park attendant giving you a million dollar smile and asking how's your day before collecting your parking ticket from you... it's all about courtesy! Take the LRT for example. In Malaysia, when people see the LRT comes by, everyone will rush to the door push everyone aside and squeeze themselves into the damn train. In Australia, people actually queue even though there are NO lines to indicate where the queue starts, and they would allow people to get out of the train before going in an orderly manner.

Buses: In Australia, the bus drivers actually greet almost everyone who gets on the bus! (Talk about good service!) It's no wonder everyone shouts a loud "Thank You" to the bus driver before they get down from the bus.

Cars: Who are we trying to kid? Malaysian drivers are like drivers from hell if compared to Australian drivers. I've been here for almost two weeks and I still haven't heard a car honking during a traffic jam. Cars here even stop to allow pedestrians to cross at a junction, instead of rushing themselves through first.

Workers: In Australia, even the garbage men will give a million-dollar smile and greet you like how you are always greeted at Starbucks; unlike our beloved country where the garbage men looked like they are soaked in garbage and they hate their job.

Officers: I was stopped at the immigration checkpoint when I was entering the country -- just a routine questioning session -- the officers were very polite and treated you as if you were his friend. The police here even use the words "please", "thank you", "good day" and get this: "how are you?", unlike our rude, impolite and corrupted policemen who only know to say: "IC MANA?"

GLTB: Although the acceptance of the GLTB community is not very high in Australia, everyone are treated as equal here. It reminds me of a sweet and memorable sight I saw while taking the mini bus in Penang. (click here to read) In Australia, every gay and lesbian couple, are just as equal as any heterosexual couples out there. You'll see gay/lesbian couples holding hands while taking a stroll in the park, without getting any weird look from passersby. I can't imagine this happening in Malaysia, and it probably won't. That couple I saw on the mini bus might just be the only time I get to see something of such happening in Malaysia.

Will be going back to Malaysia tonight and I'm sure going to miss the courtesy experienced here in Australia. One thing I won't miss is the super-cold weather in Melbourne. =P

Next stop: Europe!

(NOTE: Click here for photos.)

A Jessism © 09072006