Wednesday, September 21, 2005

PMS

A lot of my girl friends told me not to misuse this term, but I’ve been feeling down right in a Pissy Mood Swing lately. Shouldn’t I be entitled to use that ooh-so-sacred abbreviation?

Well, here’s the thing. I think I might be having hormones imbalance, or whatever reasons you women use as an excuse to scream and shout at people (especially your boyfriend/husband) and still get away with it.

For no apparent reasons, every slightest thing that people do ticks me off. Even the Ah Beng in the shopping mall that speak his veli der powerderful england ticks me off, and make me feel like slapping him left and right. Heck, even the ring of my mobile phone ticks me off. Thank goodness it’s an expensive piece that my ex bought for me, or I would’ve treated it the same way I did to my alarm clock a few years back. (I hurled my alarm clock out of my room window of the fifth floor apartment used to stay in, and I never saw it again ever since…)

Apart from that, I find that I can’t help myself every time a hot living piece of flesh walks by me. Instead of the usual checking-them-out-as-I-walk-and-try-not-to-hit-a-wall routine, I not only stare but also have the urge to jump their freaking bones! Suddenly I feel like a pregnant woman in her third or fourth trimester. You know… the one where they feel like they would want to hump every living man on earth? Whichever trimester that is.

Anyways, as I was saying, small little thing ticks me off. So yesterday, I opt for a spending therapy. Women should be able to relate to this one: You know… the one where you step into a manicure/pedicure place, a hair salon, or go on a wild shopping spree, so that you’ll feel good after? Anyway, I stepped into a hair salon to get my hair done. The usual trimming, straightening, and treatment… and even after I’m done with it, I still feel like shit.

This once in a blue moon mood swing is already driving me nuts, I wonder how women handle their version of PMS every month. Sigh…

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Hope

Witnessed something very respectable about Penangites yesterday while taking the mini bus home.

Got on the bus yesterday during one of those after work rush hour period where the bus is usually packed. There’s a guy in the bus who could’ve grabbed a seat throughout, but instead, this man kept passing available seats to every aunties and uncles that were standing around him. And we’re not talking about all those very 80-year-old looking senior citizens, just strangers who looked slightly elder than him.

Then, I saw a gay couple on the bus, sitting at the row next to me. Despite the fact that they were on a mini bus, in Penang, during rush hour, this pair of lovers did almost everything a straight couple would’ve done: holding each other’s hand, laughing off at a joke or two, lean over on each other’s shoulder… really sweet.

Now do note that this is Malaysia we’re talking about, in a public bus, with people around. Yet, this couple has no intention of hiding what they’re doing. And from my observation, no one sneered, stared, or even harassed the couple. To everyone else, they’re just another couple on the bus.

If this is actually happening everywhere around the world, and the reaction gained is similar to what I experienced yesterday, this world could actually be a better place! Polite passengers on the bus, with no discrimination whatsoever.

I’ve always hated my bus ride home during rush hours, but yesterday’s ride was something that made me feel good; that there’s still hope of a polite community without discrimination…

Monday, September 05, 2005

Got Sperm?

It’s strange how the human mind works. And what happened this weekend really got me thinking.

During my weekend stay in KL, a lesbian friend of mine asked if I could be the backup sperm donor should her immediate gay husband decided not to donate his seed.

For a person who doesn’t want a child of my own, and loathed the idea of childbirth, I of course, without any hesitation, said “yes”.

I know. How dumb can I get?

Although the chances of her husband NOT donating is going to be very slim, on my trip from KL back to Penang, I got to thinking about what will happen should I have to keep my end of the deal.

I’ve watched “Queer As Folk” and I’ve seen how things work. The only word that could describe the whole situation spells “complicated”. Imagine how to answer when the little monster asks where did it came from: Well, you see, your mommy, who happens to be a lesbian, decided that it’s a brilliant idea to have a child. So I wank into a cup, and your mother just squirts my ‘deposits’ up her cervix. And 9 months later, here you are!

Ok, now I’m just rude and being way too graphic. I know having a child ain’t all that bad. It’s just that, there is just one slight problem: I hated the idea and NEVER wanted a child of my own. I mean, come on:
1. Non-stop crying
2. More non-stop crying
3. Even more non-stop crying
4. FHM (Fucking High Maintenance)
5. Besides, the world is over populated anyway…

Yes, I admit that I’m slightly freaked out after thinking so much into details.

The situation here is somewhat different. All I need to do is donate. What’s so hard about that? All I need is a cup and some creative imaginations.

I have no regrets in saying yes, and I will honor my words, should I’m required, when the time comes. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really thought of myself as father, and never expected that the day will come where I will have to fertilize an ‘egg’, that freaks me out. But I’m ready to face it.

Whether or not the seed is mine, I’m sure that the child will be loved by all of us… parents, or not.