Friday, September 15, 2006

Evolution Of Porn: Another Jessism

Talking on MSN with a friend yesterday, I was asked about men's fascination with porn. To me, it's not a fascination but it's more like watching a movie and appreciating it as a work of art.

Like movies on the big screen, which quality and various themes improve with time, porn is no exception. The genre has been improving ever since some perverted director decided that it's a brilliant idea to shoot people having sex and earn major buckaroos from it.

Here's what I think on how porn evolve:

Porn used to be a tape filled with random clips of people having a go at it. From vanila sex to threesome to orgies, etc. Then it became a collection of random sex clips featuring different men and women of different ethnicity playing out its viewer's deepest fantasies. Think: women with huge boobs, men with huge dicks, men and women in different kinky costumes and uniform, and etc.

Like all Hollywood filmmakers, the porn makers ran out of ideas. After boringly titled porns like "Debbie Does Dallas", "The Curse Of Debbie Does Dallas", "Debbie Does Dallas 3", "Debbie Does Washington", and god-knows-how-many-other-places-Debbie-did, it became: "Oh shit! We are running out of places to let Debbie do!!" So one day, a brilliant porn maker came up with a brilliant money making idea. "Why don't we sex-up movies other real filmmakers are doing?" And that's how we came to have cool porn titles such as: "There's Something About Mary's Vagina", "The Sperminator", "Throbbin' Hood", "A Midsummer Night's Cream", "Black Cock Down", "Romeo at Joliet", "The Da Vinci Load", "Star-Whores"... you get the idea. Stuff like that that would make people keep watching and supporting the porn industry. (NOTE: All the tiles are real. Enter those titles into Google and you'll be surprise of what you'll find!.)

Of course, porn is not just about sex, it is also about cinematography. Instead of the usual bedroom scenes, porn also takes us on a journey to places we never been before, showing us the beautiful sceneries of various countries. Think "Out Of Africa" (Africa), "Greek Holiday" (Greece), "An American In Prague" (Prague), "Piña Colada" (Brazil), and etc.

THEN...to make things more interesting and much more exciting for its already horny and growing community of viewers, as well as to coincide with the fad of the new millennium, porn makers created "The Bang Bus" series. Defined by Wikipedia as "the best known and biggest reality porn sites on the Internet", "The Bang Bus" is Reality-Porn at its best! The series basically make up of three men: the driver, the camera man, and a random man who is usually good looking and gets to engage in sexual intercourse with a random woman picked off the street.

Of course, like good reality TV-series, the reality porn-series was quickly copied and it became "The Bait Bus". Like it's sister porn-series, "The Bait Bus" is also made up of three people: the driver (guy), a bait (a women), and a random man (guy). The main objective of the show is to pick up any young and good looking men get on street and trick them into having sex with another guy. (Yes, if you haven't already guessed, it's gay porn.) In "The Bait Bus", viewers will get to see what it takes for a straight guy to go gay. It's reality porn at its best!

Women always think that porns are for men, but that is not entirely true, because women are part of an important viewer's group as well. I cant remember the title, but I remember there's one where the show started off with a slutty dressed but gorgeous woman putting on some sort of virtual reality gadget which allows her to see a lot of hot (and I mean drop dead gorgeous) men, striping off to the screen and touching themselves and all that stuff, minus the fucking. This lasted almost throughout the whole show, and right at the end of the show, the women supposedly picked one of the best men out of the lot and eventually gets screwed by him. A porn of such nature would definitely not attract straight male audience because:

1. Not enough naked women
2. Not much screen time featuring naked women getting screwed
3. No ugly looking men were featured (all the men in the porn are too good damn good looking it lowers their self esteem)
4. Too many men touching themselves = gay (If a straight man wanna see a guy touching himself, he would usually prefer something call "the mirror", which is rumored to make a certain 'object' look bigger.)

What I don't get is: In countries where porn is not much of a big deal and the government admitted that their country people do have sex from time to time, has something call the "Sex Video Shop". In the shop, you have workers like those working in Tower Records, coming up to you asking you if they could assist you in finding the porn of your choice. They will be able to tell you which one is better and worth watching, and which one is better than the other.

My question is: Aren't all porn the same? It's just a show with people getting at it! So why bother with the title?

Another thing that bugs the hell out of me is: Don't these workers have a life? How is he/she able to identify which porn is better than the other? Did he/she watch all the porns in the shop to acquire such skills?

A Jessism © 15092006

Friday, September 08, 2006

Virginity Lost: A Jessism

I have to admit it. I don't know how I can keep doing all these weird things I do and still have what OXFORD dictionary defined as "person ones know and likes".

My recent curiosity about girls losing their virginity got me asking a bunch of girl friends of mine a bunch of weird questions about them losing their virginity. Now I know there are truck loads of you girls out there who had have premarital sex. Yes, I understand "it's not premarital sex, if you're not planning to get married". But what I don't get is: how come when you ask girls about it, they're always saying things like: "aiyeer, why you so hamsup wan?" Well, all I can say is: "If you dare to do it, just admit it!"

Anyway, here's what I got from my girls, who are kind (and brave) enough to help me kill my curiosity and still not block me on their MSN. Hahaha... thank you, girls..


SUBJECT 1
Is it true that sex hurts for the first time?
I didn't feel the pain at all.

So is it true that sex is like drug that you will crave for?
We do. But not as much as guys, I think.

I know guys can just "settle" their urges, but how does a girl deal with theirs?
This is too much already. Next question!

Then, how about this: do girls masturbate?
I don't think all does, but yes, girls do masturbate.



SUBJECT 2 (NOTE: She asked to be credited.)
Is it true that sex hurts for the first time for girls?
Can't remember, I think it does. Unless you are fucking high and can't even remember what's pain. Of course, that's very hard to achieve cos guys are very bad in foreplay.

What about the bleeding?
The bleeding is because the hymen breaks. Now if a girl don't do sports, don't do martial arts, and don't spread their legs for any other purposes, you might still able to see the blood. But most of the girls now wont' have it anymore, as it's already broken due to other factors.

One more: Do girls masturbate?
Don't underestimate them. They usually touch "the button" but seldom insert. The insert is just to get the juice for smoother button pressing/ touching/ caressing. Normally, self insert will not achieve orgasm, but THAT also depends la... And yes, the clit can give a very orgasmic feeling.



SUBJECT 3
Is it true that sex hurts for the first time?
YES! It was like, oh-my-fucking-gawd... sakit sampai nak mampus, ok?!

Did you stop the bugger?
Hell, yah! I kicked him!

But you guys somehow did it again, right?
NO! He was too big la... dah lah I was a virgin, and he's American. Anyway, we tried it, but cannot. Sakit la.

What about the craving? Some girls claim that they have "urges" to have sex from time to time.
Yes, for some women at least. I know I do sometimes.



SUBJECT 4
Is it true that sex hurts for the first time?
It wasn't painful at all. There was only a little discomfort on entry.

So why didn't you stop the bugger and say something like: "get off me, you shit!"?
(laughs) If everyone were to think that.. no one would have sex!

What about the bleeding thing? i heard something is supposed to like, break, or something like that?
You know, we don't actually bleed a whole bag of blood.

Shit, so you really do bleed? How can that bastard still go on when there's blood involved???? The correct mindset is to get band-aid when one sees blood!!!
Prolly because he can't see it? The only time you realize there's blood is on the condom.

Why can't you just say "it hurts, asshole!" and get him to stop it?!
It wasn't painful at all. It's uncomfortable initially but then... woah!

Then, is it true that sex is like drug that you will crave for?
I wouldn't say crave, that's too strong. It's more like an "urge". It's like feeling horny.

So how does a girl deal with theirs "urges" when one occurs?
No comment. Pleasuring oneself is so taboo in Asia. It's like a hidden secret.



[A big thanks to all the girls who told me about their first time experiences. (Those who didn't make it into this blog, 'thank you also har...') Also a special thanks to + l a a . l a a + for helping me with the picture.]

A Jessism © 08092006