Thursday, April 27, 2006

State Bird

Malaysia doesn't have a national bird, but if I were to have the chance to pick a state bird for just ONE out of the 14 states in Malaysia. I'll definitely pick Johor.

As some of you might have already known, I moved to JB September last year. Life in JB is boring. There's nothing interesting about this place: the food are expensive (thanks in no small part to all those Singaporeans who keep coming over here and spoil the market price), the queue in the supermarkets are always long (again, thanks to-you-know-who), and thanks to influences from across the border, people here are also very kiasu – If you say you are number one, they will say they are number zero so that they can be better than you, not knowing that zero means you're just shit.

If you ask me what's interesting in Johor, I would have to say: to walk under a row of trees and try to avoid bird shit from dropping on your head.

There are more crows here than you can find anywhere else in Malaysia. If you think Butterworth is bad, you should come to JB. It’s like playing one of those Nintendo games where you try to avoid the bomb from dropping on your head. Only in this version you literally get "shit on you".

If Sarawak is famous for the hornbill, Johor's state bird should bloody be crow!

A Jessism © 24042006

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Queer Weekend

Still trying to recover from the tiring weekend.

Went to KL on Friday evening after work in order to do a belated birthday dinner with Keith on Saturday night. As if no able to get a bus to KL immediately isn't bad enough, I got on a slow and loud bus which only departs from JB 2 hours after I reach the bus terminal and only reached KL 5 hours later. (The bus driver was very slow.)

Saw this cute looking Pakistanis who kept smiling at me when I look his way, and we somehow ended up on the same bus and sitting next to each other. Didn't talk much, maybe because of the language barrier. He speaks little English with a think accent, and I don't speak Urdu. So we pretty much sat quietly throughout the trip. I remember his age (22), but I don't recall his name. I think it's Something Mustapha. Nice eyes. Nice smile. Nice lips. =þ Joanne smsed me and told me to keep my hands to myself. But half way through the trip... let's just say that I didn't exactly listen to her. My dark side got the better of me.

Had a late nite supper with Irene after reaching KL. Went to Ming Tian with her, Puah Yyin and Ying Xing. Irene ordered some dim sum, not because she's hungry for it, but the purple colored siew mai looks pretty. We also had ikan bakar, a couple of char siew pau, prawn noodles, ho yip fan and a couple of Ming Tian's super-sized fruit juices. (I know there's more, just can't remember what we had.) When she sent me back to SS2, it was already 3am.

Had breakfast with Keith on Saturday morning (about 10am). Did some catching up -- it's nice to do that after so long, I really miss him and the rest of the gang. Of course, I told him about what I did in the bus. (LOL...) In exchange, he told me a shocking update on a mutual friends of ours. I'm still trying to stomach what he told me today. Can't believe my ears. Keith doesn't do gossip (as I know), so hearing the news, I know it's not just some rumor. I don't think I have the right to repeat the story here, so I'm just gonna to sum it up as: something that involves the unthinkable, some beating up of innocent people, and some money. Until I hear it from the person who is involved, on the reason(s) behind it, I'm not gonna comment further on this.

Went for lunch with Amy and Cheryl (like, less than 2 hours after having breakfast with Keith.. I really don't know how I managed it). We went to Jeevans' in Bangsar. Had some nice banana leaf rice, did more catching up. Told her about the proposal that someone has been throwing my way. Their conclusion were pretty much the same as mine. "Don't decide until (the person) comes over and show his face."

Had a less-than-one-hour nap before Amy wakes me up. We talked a bit. Sigh... I really missed living with them. Just then, Keith came back from his class and said, "Jess jacked some stranger off in the bus last night!" It was at that point when I realize how wrong I was to tell him the incident during breakfast. Amy kept saying how proud of me she felt, and I finally owe them ice-cream. I wonder if I can feed them the bucket of Häagen-Dazs that Tye still owes me. Hmmm...

Went to Plaza Damas' Paddington Pancakes for dinner that evening, after finishing my story of what happened, Without Cheryl (she went for a family dinner). Honestly, I love the place, but the menu is just too friggin' thick! It's like reading through a magazine! And (as usual) before you can finish going through it, the waiter comes along and goes: "Can I take your order now?" Of course, you may fucking not!! Can't you see that I'm trying to read a magazine?!!

CJ arrived shortly after the three of us got there. So we talked abit while waiting for the rest (Bern and friend, Ting Ting, and Siu-Fan) to arrive. Amy asked CJ something about where can she download the 'film' that he was in. And me with my big fat mouth just have to ask: "what film?", which prompts Keith to suddenly turn to CJ and said: "Jess had sex last night!" I almost sprayed my ice lemon tea back out. The price to pay for being curious.

I swapped story with CJ: It turns out that he had sex with someone in the bathroom and someone else caught the thing on camera phone! As we are swapping stories, I felt like what happened to us (me and CJ) can either be a good plot for some porn flick, or (with the news from Keith this morning) something that only happens in "Queer As Folk".

Bitched about how a certain group of idiots pronounce "Queer As Folk" as "Queens of Fok", a certain beauty pageant bimbo who uttered the phrase "God Breast You!" on stage, a woman who keeps her dead dog in her freezer, a girl who only cleans her side of the toilet and hides her toiletries.... I'm telling you, it's the perfect setting for the Malaysian version of "Queer As Folk".

Dinner ended at about 11pm plus, and we went back to SS2 for more bitching catching-up.

Siu-Fan doesn't understand why we (me and Keith) decided not to tell Amy about the incident, but we just couldn't do it. Maybe it's better for those who are involved to break the news than someone who hears it from the person involved? I dunno. Of course we talked about other things besides the incident, and the whole thing ended close to 4am!

It's good to be back in KL and hang out with the bunch of them again after so long, especially Keith and Amy. Too bad I have to rush back to JB. Sigh... missing them already.

A Jessism © 17042006