Monday, December 31, 2007

My 2007

2007 was a crazy roller coaster ride for me. There were a couple of ups and there were fuck loads of downs.

As some of you might have already known, I lost my job in January 2007 and was unemployed for more than 4 months. During which, I was lucky to have a boyfriend who was always there for me to motivate and give me the strength I needed to carry on.

In March, I was offered a job to work as an Editor in a new magazine. Yay~! But as the job is based in KL, I was forced to leave JB and my boyfriend behind and move to KL. In April, I moved to KL. And for the first time ever since I left home, I was forced to live with a bunch of straight men.

Although things were going smooth at work, back home, my fucked up straight landlord decided that it's funny to try and cheat me on rent. So I decided that it's time to leave the place and move to somewhere else. Meanwhile, at the same time, my boyfriend decided that he would want to move in with me and come work in KL. Yay~! But not long after he moved in, we had a major fallout. I learned a couple of shocking truth about him and more along the way. It turns out that the person that I was about to spend the rest of my life with is nothing but a scandalous prick! Just great! Although I was in denial after I found out, it didn't take long before the two of us broke up. My depression came back. Followed by a string of unfortunate events.

Work was going smoothly but our salary began to come in late, and in October we were only paid half of our salary. Then no salary in November, and in mid-December, our boss disappeared into thin air. And now jess is unemployed, in the midst of his depression and owes people tons of money...

Ok, who am I kidding? 2007 sucks max! I really can't believe that I managed to live through it wthout killing myself! With all these going on, I really hope that 2007 will end faster. Who knows? Maybe 2008 will be a better year?

For those of you who had it good this year, may all be as well for you next year~! As for those who had it not-so good, let us all keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best as we countdown to a new year!

- jessism © 30122007-

Friday, December 28, 2007

English

I can't stress enough how important the English language is.

Coming from a family that is mainly English educated, and also mostly because my Mandarin sucks max, English is very important to me. So you can understand my frustration when people I converse with don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say, especially those Cina-Thinking bunch, who always call me a "West-Worshipper".

I'd like to clear things up by saying: I DO NOT WORSHIP ANYONE OTHER THAN MY GOD! I don't care if your preacher claims that your God greater and better than mine, leave me the fuck alone and don't try and preach to me about how great your God is. Everyone has their own believes and I respect that but just don't try to convert me.

Anyways, this posting is about English, so we'll leave debate of the religion aspect for future postings.

Like it or not, English is very important. Everywhere you go, English is the one international language that holds you together. In today's working world, whether this country likes to admit it or not, English is widely used everywhere. You go to a major corporation to meet someone, you speak English. You don't see people use Mandarin or Bahasa Melayu. English is extremely important.

I've been talking to quite a number of those conservative Cina-thinking bunch lately, who thinks that they as Chinese, Mandarin is the one and only important thing to them. Ok, fine with me, that's your preference. (If I worship the West, does this make you an East Worshiper?) But you coming to my face and tell me that all Chinese MUST speak Mandarin???? And you ONLY speak Mandarin to everyone who is Chinese? That's just too much! Yes, I am Chinese, but who say Chinese cannot excel in other languages other than their own? I am still Chinese, I don't forget my roots, and that's all that matters! If you're so staunch a Chinese, can you master all the local Chinese dialects? If you can't don't come to me with this bullshit!

When asked what do they speak when they work, they proudly reply: English!

The first thing that crossed my mind was: What the fuck?! If yu really think that English is unnecessary, why use it? Why not speak Mandarin to your Malaysian-Chinese boss? Or better still, why not attend an interview and tell your interviewer you refuse to speak English with her because she is Chinese and you would prefer to converse in Mandarin to all Chinese. See if you can still get that job?!

Wake up and smelll the shit people! It's the new millennium we're living in. You wanna speak Mandarin everyday, everywhere you go? Here's a thought: As Maureen nicely puts it - "Go back to China!"

- jessism © 28122007 -

倒數108

108天前,小狗失去了這日子以來最重要的一部份。傷心極了,小狗無論做任何事來都提不起勁。失眠的夜晚也漸漸的增加了。

("這裡的空氣很新鮮。。。")

這些日子以來,小狗不斷的提醒自己一定要堅強的走下去,別要再友人擔心。小狗每天都嘗試擺著一副笑臉和大家開心笑著的,但心裡卻默默的掛念著那些日子。在無法入睡的夜晚裡,小狗偷偷的打開那首歌,聽著聽著,眼淚又掉了。。。

("這裡的夜景很有感覺。。。")

小狗不斷的吹眠自己把過去忘了,嘗受失憶的感覺..."如果能忘了真好!" 但內心深處,小狗卻好害怕忘掉一切的回憶。好矛盾喔!

("在一萬英呎的天邊。。。")

今晚吃晚飯時,提起了飯碗時,想起了你那時教小狗如何提碗和用筷子吃飯。。。心裡好酸。

("可是親愛的你怎麼不在我身邊。。。")

最近小狗的舊患又發作了。。。回想起以前,無論再困難的日子裡只要看到你的笑容都能熬過去,但現在都已成了回憶。。。唯獨耳邊輕輕響起的那首熟悉歌曲:"我的親愛的你怎麼不在我身邊,一個人過一天像過一年。。。"

雖然沒有翻唱者唱的好聽。。。但想了想第一次聽到這歌的感覺。。。好想再次聽到那熟悉的歌聲。。。好想再次擁有那熟悉的鈴聲。。。眼淚又很不爭氣的弄濕了臉。。。 

("我很想為了你快樂一點,可是親愛的你怎麼。。。")

小狗又失眠了。。。在遠方的你會在乎嗎?再過3天,期限就到了,是時候該放下了。。。小狗會做得到嗎? 可能會沒想像中的那麼簡單。。。

("不在身邊。。。")

- 失落的小狗 © 28122007 -

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Langkawi (IV): Still...Day 1

[Author's Note: After getting complains from everyone that my previous posting was too long, I'll try to cut to the chase and keep this one short.]

After a long afternoon at Bella Vista and failing to check in, the four of us drove to City Bayview to check ourselves in. Walking into the hotel, you can tell that the place is way much better than Bella Vista. Classier and the staff are much more polite and organized.

The first thing we did after checking in was rushing to check out our room, to see if Ms. Fan honor her words. As like she promised, our rooms had the sea view. The rooms are spacious and very very much comfortable. (Now you see why I have to honor my promise to Ms. Fan as well, for not exposing her internal dispute with Bella Vista to the general public.)

After washing up, the four of us - who are now almost dying of starvation - had a wholesome seafood dinner at a nearby shop before heading on to Eagle Bay for a long evening of "modelling" session.

Eagle Bay was crowded with tourists and couples who went there for sunset-smooches. As if it was having people everywhere is not hard enough for us to take those pictures, the sun was setting like there's no tomorrow. Before we knew it, we're engulfed by the darkness so bad our camera flashes weren't even able to help. still, that doesn't stop us from cam whoring getting our pictures taken.

Our next task is to find a duty free shop for some serious shopping --> GET BOOZE!!!

24 and I were like kids in a candy store, running around looking for all the liquor we can think of. We went from one shop to another, checking out the prices and comparing which is cheaper. Worse, we even haggled with the sellers like two desperate aunties, literally begging them to lower the prices even more than they already have. Ang Ku Kuih and Irene stayed a distance from us and just wacthed on. (Yeah.. I would pretend I didn't know me as well if I were to be in their shoes.)

At the end of that shopping spree, between the four of us, we bought close to RM1000 bucks worth of liqour and chocolates!!

As we had an early dinner (Which was at about 5-something-pm), all of us were hungry by the time we're done with our late-night shopping spree. 24 and Ang Ku Kuih offered to go buy KFC, while Irene and I sort out the stuff we bought earlier. The four of us had JD-KFC for supper in the room, horse around, and before we knew it, it was already 2am!!

Don't worry, you're not going to read about every boring details on what we did during the trip. This is going to be the last posting on my Langkawi trip. All I can say is that despite the incident with the hotel, all of us had a great time!

To whoever that is going to Langkawi, just remember this:
1. Do NOT book your hotel through Air Asia!
2. Do NOT go to Underwater World Langkawi!!! It's as big a scam as our government wasting our precious tax dollars on a set of RM500 screwdriver! If you wanna see fishes, go to the morning wet market!

[Pictures from the trip can be seen at http://gambit3.multiply.com/photos/album/44.]
- jessism © 26122007 -

Monday, December 24, 2007

Langkawi (III): Hotel Woes

[Note: This posting was cut out from the previous post and reposted as an individual post due to complain from readers that the previous posting was too long to digest.]

So the girl at the reception called the "agent" and finally got hold of a Malay girl named Malar, who spoke poor English. 24 was told that we have been transferred to Hotel Helang, which is just right next to the airport. Great. So we drove all the way to Kuah town, only to find that our agent has transferred us to a hotel next to the airport without informing us! Malar couldn't give us an explanation on why the transfer was made. She was told us that we need to check in at Hotel Helang, which at that point, got 24 even more furious.

Our booking was made in early November when we planned the trip, and as our "agent", they are supposed to inform us should there be any changes in our hotel bookings. Especially when it is clearly stated that our package booking CANNOT BE CANCELLED, REFUNDED, CHANGED, EXCHANGED, how is it possible for our hotel to be changed without us knowing it?!

The commotion that the three of us were making at the counter caught the attention of the manager, who came to our help stating that he will be able to help us solve the problem, and was asked to sit and wait in the lobby's waiting area. At the time, Irene was already having a gastric attack. I ran out and bought her some biscuit, while we waited for an answer.

Half an hour later, the manager introduced us to a lady named Mashita, who claims to be the Front Desk Manager. She explained to us that our agent did in fact book the hotel with them but they later cancelled it. Again, we weren't given the reason to why our booking was cancelled. 24 was getting more and more agitated and demanded that Mashita call the agent once again and he wanted to speak to the manager of the agency.

A Ms. Fan talked to him, and 24 was told that the hotel that they have transferred us to is a 3-Star hotel which offers better facilities than the current one. But our main problem with the arrangement was: We wanted to stay close to town! Not somewhere next to the airport!

While 24 was talking with Ms. Fan on the phone, I talked to Mashita. I told her that I am a journalist and I wanted to know what is going on and I promise that I will not use her name should I decide to lodge a complaint. The minute I gave her my card, everything changed. Not for the better but for the worse. She became cocky and began to diss out dirt about our agency, and even said it many times, that it was ok for me to quote her and use her name. So here goes:

According to Mashita, that was not the first time it happened. The agency apparently had had other unsatisfied and raging customers coming to Bella Vista only to find out their booking had been cancelled and was already transferred to another hotel. Mashita also said that, they always try their best to help the walk-in customers find out from the agency where they had been transferred to and divert them there. The reason that those customers were not checked-in by Bella Vista is because the money had been wired directly to the hotel the customers had been transferred to, so (according to Mashita) as much as Bella Vista would like to help, they can't.

I began to get more inquisitive, and at that point Mashita suddenly divert her attention to 24, who is still arguing on the phone with the agency and said that we can't use the hotel phone line anymore and gave us the number of the agency and ask us to call them ourselves.

After we took the number from Mashita, I turn to her and asked, "If they (the agency) are not able to find us a place that is close to town, would it be possible to put us up here?"

The reply we got immediately pissed me and 24 off on the spot. Mashita rudely replied to us, "Can. IF you can pay us then I'll be glad to help." Excuse me?! But do we look like a bunch of people who cannot afford a night at a cheap 2-Star hotel like yours?! Her attitude totally killed it for us. I told 24 to get a hold of Ms. Fan from the agency and I wanted to speak to her directly. When 24 called, we were told that she was engaged on the other line and she will call us back as soon as possible. At that point of time, all of us were already stressed out, hungry and pissed. It was already past 4pm and all of us still haven't taken our lunch.

10 minutes later, Ms. Fan from the agency called 24 and told him that we have been changed to yet another hotel. This time, it's City Bayview. Now I'm really pissed. They've been kicking us from one place to another for the whole afternoon! I demanded to 24 that I wanted to speak to this girl on the phone.

The minute I got hold of the phone, I could've sworn that everyone at the hotel lobby stared at me. I screamed at this Ms. Fan. You can add in every four letter words you can think of. She kept saying that she is not dumping us to hotels but giving us an "upgrade" and that they are not doing anything wrong, as they have problem locating our contact. But everytime I tried to speak, she would cut me off. So When she finally stopped talking, I said politely into the phone. "Ms. Fan, I hope you know what you're saying. Please do know that you are talking to an editor from a travel magazine. Everything you say here might just be published in our upcoming issue. If you want my name card, I have already passed one to Mashita at the hotel reception. Now, again, Ms. Fan, why were we not informed that we have been dumped to another hotel?"

The reaction I got from her later, was a total opposite of what I got earlier. She became very very extremely polite. I was told that the transfer was due to an internal problem. Ms. Fan explained that when Air Asia submit our bookings to her agency, it did not come with our contact numbers - the system could only show her our name and our credit card number, so she couldn't possibly contact us.

When I told her that Mashita from Bella Vista told us that this was not the first time the agency is giving them problems like this and seek for an explanation, Ms. Fan told me that it wasn't true and that their bookings with the hotel was changed from December onwards due to that "internal problem" that they were having. So we waited for almost 3 hours just because the hotel had an "internal problem" with our booking agent?! Correct me if I'm wrong, but we didn't pay so much money to get caught in a dispute between a hotel and a booking agent!!! It's none of our freaking business!!

Before I hung up, I gave a warning to Ms. Fan: "This will not be the last you hear form me. When I get to that hotel, it better be as you said - an upgrade. And when I open my window I better be able to see the sea." And I hung up.
I am not sure if it was my language that freaked them out, or none of them have seen me pissed prior to this, 24 and Ang Ku Kuih were both staring at me when I hung up. 24 kept telling me o calm down, Ang Ku Kuih just sat there, puzzled… and Irene, acting as if nothing happened, asked me, "So, what's the plan?"

[NOTE 2: I managed to extract more information from Ms. Fan , including those about the dispute, but as I have promised her not to publish it, I will have to honor that. The information will be sent in a complain letter to Air Asia.]

[Pictures from the trip can be seen at http://gambit3.multiply.com/photos/album/44.]

- jessism © 23122007 -

Langkawi (II): Day 1

Like a bunch of crazy tourists, the 4 of us started snapping pictures when we boarded and alight from the plane. The minute we got into Langkawi International Airport, Ang Ku Kuih and Irene became the craziest local tourist I've ever seen. They acted as if they've just landed in Phuket, or some exotic country - rushing to the information counter to get brochures and map, snagged up postcards and paper fans... it was crazy.

Rented ourselves a car at the airport, and since 24 is the oldest in our group, he automatically became our designated driver. Navigating ourselves to the hotel, we got lost on the way and found ourselves at Pantai Kok... which is at the opposite end of where our hotel is. Being the crazy tourists that we are, we parked, got down from the car, splashes on our sunblock and went on to the beach, bracing the afternoon sun. (It was exactly 12 noon when we got there!)




After snapping close to 100 pictures under the scorching hot sun, we decided that it's time to get ourselves checked into the hotel and head for lunch.

Bella Vista, the hotel 24 booked together with the air tickets through Air Asia, looked literally like Disneyland! As we drove in, all of us were amazed about how cool the place looked. Feeling all hot and sweaty after hitting the beach, all of us were dying to get into our rooms and hit the shower.

When we got there, the Bella Vista reception was a mess. There were only two staff on duty and there were loads of people there, waiting to be served. There wasn't any queue to be found. All of them were just standing there, waiting. Didn't know where to go to, I went forward to check with one of the hotel staff and I was politely told to wait my turn. BUt the question is: When is my turn? When I saw that those who showed up later than me was served, I was starting to get agitated.

24 and Ang Ku Kuih later shove their way to the front and 24 demanded to be checked in with the reason that we have been waiting for the past 20 minutes and those who came before us was already served. So the complied. Ang Ku Kuih gave her the print out and confirmation of our booking and we waited. She took out a list and crossed checked. The three of us saw it. 24's name was listed there and highlighted. We pointed it out to her. She looked at it and asked us to wait, while she went off to talk to the second girl at the counter. The two of them had a little discussion and the girl came back to us and said: "I'm sorry sir, but your booking has been cancelled."

"You have got to be joking, right?" said 24. That was exactly what came across my mind. We're on some candid camera thingy. The girl proceed to explain to us that our booking was cancelled and our agent -- the agent that Air Asia appointed to book us the hotel -- had cancelled our bookings and had transferred us to another hotel. To which? She did not know.

I was shocked. But 24 was furious. He started shouting at the girl, demanding for an explanation of how could this be happening and wanted her to find out why was our booking cancelled. The girl, I reckon, was shocked to find him screaming at her. She proceeds to tell us that she will call our agent and find out where they transferred us to. As she dialled for the agent, I took the booking prinout from her and read through the thing. On the first sheet of paper, it clearly states there that we have booked a place in Bella Vista, together with our flight number printed on it. Then the second piece of paper was a letter saying that is to RECONFIRM our booking with the hotel. So with all these, how can our bookings be cancelled?!

[Pictures from the trip can be seen at http://gambit3.multiply.com/photos/album/44.]

- jessism © 23122007 -

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Langkawi (I): The Trip

My memory of Langkawi was a tomb of a girl who died ages ago, a beach that looks very dirty, a place where you can pick up burnt rice, and cheap liquor. Very very cheap liquor.

The first time I went to Langkawi was when back when I was about 13 years old. It was one of those family trip which we took. I remembered that I got sea sick when I got back in the evening. My world spun, I feel like throwing up the whole night. Bad bad bad experience. So when I was invited to join the cast of "Cinta Luar Biasa" for their shooting in Langkawi, I was really sceptical. But to my surprise, the boat ride from Kuala Kedah wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Since the main purpose of the trip is to cover the event, I didn't get to see much of anything anywhere.

Going back to Langkawi again for a visit after so long, got me all excited... The night before departure, Irene and I even had a 3-hour long webcam session to show each other how much nonsense we've packed for the trip and questioned each other about what more nonsense that we can stuff into our bags. Talk about misusing modern technology.

The next day, Irene and I got to KL Sentral the earliest. While waiting for 24 and Ang Ku Kuih to arrive, we concluded that they must've overslept. Although 24 denied it, the both of us are still sticking to that conclusion of ours.

Taking the Airbus to LCCT, 24 and Irene are busy chatting themselves away while Ang Ku Kuih and I tried our best to catch some Zs. In other words: Not much. Reaching LCCT, the first sign of a long began. The minute we got off the Airbus, 24 headed straight to the nearest ditch in an attempt to puke. (Probably due to the lack of sleep, as he was rushing to get his work done prior to the trip.) Then during check in, another incident happened. I have taken Air Asia flights long enough to know that we don't really need to have a booking number to check ourselves in. All they needed is an ID. On that particular day, the guy at the check-in counter could not find Irene and my name in his computer and actually asked for our booking number and print out!!! Since 24 was the one who did the booking for us, I told him that I don't have it. Luckily, Ang Ku Kuih printed out a copy for us! With that, we got our boarding passes and we're ready for some breakfast.

Seeing that we still have 45 minutes before the time printed on boarding passes, we went to McD for a quick breakfast. Taking our own sweet time and all. Time flies. Before we knew it, we only have 5 minutes left before the stated time. As we make our way to the departure hall, and busy chatting away, we heard a familiar name came over the speakers: "..and Ms. Irene Ooi. Please proceed to Gate 14 as soon as possible." They’re announcing our names!! The first thing that acme to mind was: OH SHIT!!! The plane is about to leave without us!!! Our face went pale as we ran like hell towards the departure gate. Everyone had already boarded the plane and was just waiting for us. From the corner of my eyes, I swear I saw that the other passengers were starring angrily at us for causing a delay to the flight.

We sighed of relieve. We've made it onto the plane, yay~! But little did we know that this is just the beginning of a very rough day.

[Pictures from the trip can be seen at http://gambit3.multiply.com/photos/album/44.]

- jessism © 18122007 -

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Cut (2)

It took me so long to finally raise up enough courage to let someone cut my hair short again after so many years, and this is what I get.

I was more sad than pissed. My long hair is now gone and there is nothing I can do to get it back. And it's gonna take me more than a year to get back the length I wanted. But that's not what bothers me the most. What bothers me most is the fact that I have to put up with this messed up hairdo. I knew that I have to do something about it. As I have to work at the World AIDS Day Carnival again the next day, I text Irene to see if she had an extra cap that I could borrow to cover up the mess. When she asked, I told her what happened.

Later that evening, Irene came by. I showed her what happened and she told me not to worry, as there are still ways of saving it, and promised me to take me to another salon to get it fixed.

After our shift was over at the carnival, we went to a salon in Section 17. I told the guy who attended to me that someone screwed up my hair and asked if there is anything he could do to fix it. Checking through the cut I got the day before, the guy told me that he could fix it BUT he's gonna have to cut my hair shorter than it already is and asked if I am ok with it. Although I said yes, my heart sank. I would now need more time to get my hair back.

The guy was really nice, and did I mention cute?? Hahaha...

Before he started working on my hair, he tried his best to comfort me. Assuring me that he knows what he was doing. Me being all down low and mean, I kinda snapped back at him and said: "I heard the same lines yesterday and looked what happened?" He gave me a smile and asked me to trust him. He was all nice and sweet, confidant and comforting at the same time throughout the whole process. No, I did not fell in love with him just like that, but I have to admit that at that point, I really wished that if only my next boyfriend was someone like him. Haha...

At the end of the day, although I hated the fact that I am now going to be stuck with having short hair for the next two years, I was grateful that he managed to save my hair from looking all messed up. At the checkout counter, I saw his name written on the receipt. So here goes: Shawn, if you're reading this, thank you very much! I'm sorry I snapped at you. And if you so happen to be gay, single and available... call me? Hahahaha....

- jessism © 04122007 -

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Cut (1)

I have never liked getting my hair cut. I guess it's one of those thing that was in me ever since I was a kid. For me, a trip to the barber was harder than a trip to the dentist, which is why, I never like going to places I have never been to to get a haircut. You'll never know if the person can deliver what you wanted, or give you something dodgy. In my case, it was both.

No thanks to the ever increasingly hot weather, I forced myself to get a haircut on Saturday. As 24 was busy with work, he hasn't the time to bring me to his stylist, so I was forced to go to one around my apartment.

Taking more than enough deep breaths to calm myself down, I finally rose up enough courage to walk into a salon. I told the guy who attended to me that I wanted to have my hair cut to shoulder length. And so it began.

As he cuts, i could sense that something was not right. The amount of hair on the floor doesn't exactly match what I asked for. So I thought to myself, maybe my hair at the back was longer than I thought it to be. Then came the lady boss, walking over to give her two cents worth. She told me that I should cut my hair shorter, cos long hair = more shedding. As I was really shedding like a cat lately, and thinking that she knows what she's saying, I told her to go for it. So she took over and started cutting.

Looking into the mirror, I can see that my hair was getting shorter and shorter. Half way through, she told me that she wanted to change how I part my hair and started to work on it. The guy who did my hair earlier can already tell that I was unhappy. The lady boss started telling me that it's ok to feel weird with short hair after having long hair for so long, assuring me that all will be fine. But something inside tells me that something was wrong somewhere.

Before I knew it, the cut was over. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. The job was badly done and you can tell that the sides are uneven. When I pointed it out to her, she told me that it was because of the rebonding I did previously and there is nothing she could do about it. After cutting away half the length of my hair, she's now telling me that there's nothing she could do?! She proceeds to take out the hairdryer and started to blow and style my hair and utter that magic phrase: "See, it doesn't look all that bad."

I wanted to burn down her shop at that point.

The minute I got home, I went straight into the washroom, was out all the styling-agent she gave me and checked her work in front of the mirror. The sides are really uneven, the back was uneven, my hair was in a mess that I can not imagine. The worse part was: she had the back cut so short, there is no way another person can fix it unless my hair grows back overnight.

- jessim © 03122007 -

Friday, December 07, 2007

The One With The 8-Hour Concert

Yes, you read it right. No, I'm not making this up. Irene and I went to an 8-hour standing concert.


The decision to go to the concert came about the night before the concert. Myels called and asked if I wanted two passes to Live & Loud's "Chinese All Star Concert", which features a long list of top Chinese performaers. Hearing His name in the list, I knew I have to be there! So I called Irene up and we decided that we would sit through a few of the performances and just go home after seeing who we wanted to see perform.

Irene and I got there around 3.30pm and there was already a crowd waiting at the entrance. Pushing Shoving Making our way further to the front, we waited for almost an hour before the gates opened! At the time, Irene and I were already sweaty and ready to go after seeing the first performance.

Arriving at the venue, we saw that the concert ground was actually a huge field with a giant stage. No chair. Just a field. But that wasn't the worse. Knowing that we would have to wait under the hot sun and all, both of us decided that we should get ourselves something that is a must for a weather like this: ice-cream! When we reached the stalls, we were disappointed. NO ice-cream. We got too early and there is literally NOTHING on sale yet. Crap!

Anyway, we got into the field, chose a shaded spot, and sat down. Second row from the stage. (The first time having the opportunity to sit so close to a concert stage after the Energy concert!!) As we waited, the sun began to set and the light slowly came our way. It was inevitable that the both of us will be baked soon. With our wishful thinking, we prayed hard that the sun wouldn't notice us and would just give us a pass. Well, guess what? The sun saw us and proceeds to bake us alive for the next 90 minutes.


The concert started around 5.30pm. The first singer was a girl from China. Though we don't remember her name, she gave us something to remember her by: her voice. Irene and I were really impressed by her voice... that is, until she sang her last song. As the music started playing, we could hear that her minus one CD was skipping, we even joked that she should change the CD. Then it happened, half way through the song, the CD skipped again and guess what? Unlucky for her, we discovered that she was actually lip synching all the while!!! Our rating for her went straight down the drain.

We proceed to sit through the next few performances until we got pissed of being blocked by the person in front of us, which was about the time that some local Chinese male artist appeared to hype up the crowd around 7 something. Both Irene and I kept asking each other who the heck the performers on stage were and we would just repeat the name that the announcer gave to each other. Even the person in front of us, who heard us, started to laugh at us.

On the big screen, we can see that the crowd continues to build up and suddenly I saw him. On the big screen, there he was with someone else. Though I kinda expected him to be there, I never expected to see him there, especially with that person. I was disappointed. But what can I say?

Both of us were getting hungrier by the minute. I told Irene that we should leave after He performs and she agreed. Finally, at 8pm, He appeared on stage. You have no idea how hard I screamed! Haha... Irene turned to me and said: "Finally! Someone I know! Now I can tell the person beside me who this is!"

While Irene is busy introducing Kenny Kwan to the girl beside her, jess ignored them and proceeds to record his lover's performance down in video!

Can't believe he's still as cute and gorgeous as I last saw him a few months back. Ahhhhhh.... -*melts*-

After his performance, as the crowd screams their call for "encore", I told Irene that I've died, went to heaven and back. Now that someone we don't know is performing, we can leave. But both of us knew that after five hours of waiting and getting baked alive, it would be stupid to leave now. Since it is stated on the ticket that the show would end at 11pm, which is just two and a half away, we decided to stick around until the end of the show. As we got closer to the end, the more reluctant we feel to leave. Soon, Michael Wong appeared on stage, then his ex-partner Victor, then Fish Leong, Zhang Zhen Yue and then she appeared: Zhang Hui Mei!

Squeezing our way to the front row, Irene and I were literally screaming our lungs out. She's hot, sexy and on-my-god those legs!!! Woof!!! Drop dead gorgeous! (Don't get the wrong idea people, I'm still as gay as ever!) The crowd began to jump and dance along. The whole field suddenly became a pool filled with screaming and dancing fans. The crowd response was so great that the sound of screaming fans was so loud that at times, you can't even hear what A*Mei was singing. A*Mei even mentioned it on stage afew times, that the crowd was actually singing louder than her.

When she left the stage, the crowd was still standing their groud screaming for an encore. No one left. Everyone just stood there shouting until the announcer finally announced that the concert is over and everyone should leave. It was slightly past 12am.

Although the both of us starved through the evening, we decided that it was well worth starving ourselves for. One would never expect that two people with the patience that last as long as the speed of lightning would be able to endure an 81/2-hour long gig! Kudos to ourselves! We broke a new record! Hahaha...

- jessism © 071222007 -

Monday, November 12, 2007

Guilty Pleasure

Fallen sick over the past few days brought back my insomnia.

Unlike the times when Kenny was around, which I would sleep like a baby through the night regardless of whatsoever nightmare or discomfort I was feeling, I can't seem to get back to sleep these days. I'd be wide awake and just stare at the ceiling.

It's true when people say that your mind wanders when you can't sleep.

Two nights ago, I got up and i couldn't sleep. I thought of the guardian angel who watches over me when I was a kid -- she (I think... cos I'd usually just see a white phantom figure) would always appear when I was sick, and I will be better the day after. Even though i was thinking of her, she didn't appear that night.

The night after, I can't seem to get myself back to sleep after I got up. I started reading. It wasn't until 6am in the morning that I got tired and fall back to sleep. Then last night, the inevitable happened: Kenny popped back in my head.

As much as I hate to admit it, Kenny is always there somewhere in the back of my head. Mostly to remind me what an idiot I was to believe in him and what an ass he is. But last night, for some twisted reasons, I really wished that he was there with me, lying by my side, telling me that everything's gonna be alright, as he used to do, and hugged me back to sleep. It suddenly hit me that I might never find another who knows me so well like he does. Anxiety starts to kick in.

The devil in me kept telling me that I should make him pay for what he did, making him suffer more than what he did to me. The angel in me reminded me of the Xanax I have stashed away for moments like this. Then my conscience fought back, telling the two to shut the hell up so that I can get back to sleep.

As the three battles away, memories of how Kenny used to cheer me up with his (sometimes silly) antics, crept in. Tears began to roll down unknowingly. I can't tell whether the tears were there because I miss him, or just tears of happiness. i let them be...

I close my eyes. Tuned out all the noises around, and I indulged in the memento I have left playing in my head, and slowly, I drifted back to sleep...

- a distressed puppy © 12112007 -

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Club Night Horror

On the way back, the minute we took our first turning, we met with a road block and 24 who drank the least, as compared to me, was tested positive for alcohol and all of us who are in the car were sent to the police station. Whoever the guy was who stopped us the other night was damn fucking rude. I remember him shouting to 24, asking him to get out of the car so that he (the police) can get in and drive, when it struck us. Why can't anyone else in the car drive? We have one who is sober! Why must we let some stranger drive the car? And God knows where he's going to take us! Talking about making something out of nothing, the cop threatened to handcuff 24 and making a big deal out of it if he doesn't get into the passenger seat and let him (the cop) drive. So 24 complied and at the same time making calls to every higher ranked officer he knows.

We were taken for a joyride back to the police station close to Pasar Seni. Why "joyride"? That guy was taking us in circles and using the long way there when we could obviously get there in less than 5 minutes. And talk about bad driving skills, that stupid cop almost bang into cars which are coming by on the next lane! Did these people even pass their driving tests?!

Once reached the police station, 24 was taken in, while Sammi and I were left waiting outside. To my knowledge, the normal procedure would be to take the driver back for a comprehensive computer check. Issue a summon if found guilty of driving under the influence of alcohol, and someone needs to pick him and the car up. What happened that night was a very long wait.

Sammi and I waited for almost 2 hours before the officer who took us in came out and told me that 24 is not cooperating and wanted me to go in to persuade him to cooperate. Certainly not sounding like the 24 I know, I walked in anyway. The minute I open the door to go in, another officer in shouted at me: "Siapa panggil you masuk?!" (Translation: Who asked you to come in?) I told him that an officer asked me to come in and explained to him what the guy said and what my friend was in here for. The reaction I got was more shouting. The guy screamed at me: "Saya tak panggil you masuk! Keluar!" (Translation: I never asked you to come in! Get Out!)

Yeah. We spend our tax dollars feeding and paying rude and fat hooligans to protect us.

The minute I got out, I couldn't care much anymore. I text 24 and told him what happened, hoping that he is able to read sms in there, and at the same time text everyone I think might have contacts to sort this out.

It wasn't until 5.30am that 24 came out from the room and told me that he needed my help to bail him out. According to him, I just needed to sign a few papers and we can go. He looked pissed and was clearly shaking. I didn't say much. I just agreed to it.

Going with him and another cop dressed in plain clothes, we went to another room upstairs. While waiting to be processed, 24 told me what happened in the room he was brought into: Apparently, the cops told him that in order for him to be able to walk away clean, he had to pay RM3000 in CASH! Who the fuck would walk around with RM3000 in their pocket?! The best part is: the 3k is not even summon money! We're talking about 3k bribe money!!! Yeah... this is what happened behind closed doors in police stations. And now we know. Refusing to pay the 3K they wanted, they gave 24 a hard time in the room. Throwing him threats and all. Thank god 24 managed to grab hold of one of his many contacts and they sent someone over: the guy who escorts us to the place to be processed.

Waiting to be processed took close to half an hour. I have no idea why the fuck do we need to be waiting this long, when clearly there ain't that much "criminals" left sitting in the room but us. When it came to our turn, I found out why. The guy who was doing the processing was taking his own sweet time to write and copy whatever that is needed to be written. At the same time, he was making phone calls to god-knows-who. Just waiting for him to issue us the bail notice, it took him almost half an hour! And at the end of it, he told us that the car has to be compounded until 24 settled the payment on Monday morning! (Offices are closed on Sundays, remember?) When we asked how are we going to get to the place to settle the fine without a car, the guy said, "Ambil taxi." (Translation: Get a cab.)

The whole ordeal ended at about 7am. 24 was clearly nervous and was still shaking. After seeing Sammi got on a cab, 24 and I headed to grab some breakfast. When I got home, it was almost 8am.

After going through all this, they way I see it: Whether we liked to admit it, or not, cops are surely licensed thugs. All they can threaten and extort money from you all they want, and you can do no shit about it. Asking for bribe is one thing. Asking for a 3k bribe is certainly overdoing it!

I really salute 24 for still being able to walk out without a weak knee after the traumatic experience they gave him. And honestly, I really don't see why this cannot be done and handled in a more professional manner?! The government is spending so much of our tax money to crack down this and that, the way I see it, the only "crack down" needed is to clean the police station off these money-sucking leeches! As for those who are not apart of that money-sucking team, send them to some anger management course and courtesy training please! I wanna see our tax money well-spent! Not on some over-priced screwdriver set!!!

- a pissed off citizen © 05112007 -

Monday, November 05, 2007

Club Night

Those who are quite close to me would know that I don't do clubs. Those few unfortunate lucky ones whom I went with, would know that I would just sit and drink them dry.

After having down right low week, I couldn't resist it when 24 asked me to go La Queen with him. So after God-knows-how-long, jess is hitting the club once again. Since I don't dance, 24 and I decided that we should share a bottle of JD so that I we can drink the night away.

Hitting a local club after so long, my expectation wasn't all that high. On the way over, I was thinking to myself: Bad music, cigarette-filled room, everyone sardined to each other... When I got there around 11pm, the place isn't as bad as I thought it would be. No stuffy cigarette smell and the place sure ain't as sardine-packed as I thought it would be. 24 managed to get us a table quite close to the dancefloor.

All I cared about that night was to drink myself silly. To be honest, I don't remember who I met that that. Haha... Not that I was pissed drunk but the music was too loud and under them dim lighting, I can't even tell who's who. I do remember that 24 introduced me to a bunch of his friends.

After a couple of drinks, without me realizing suddenly the dancefloor is packed. Although to me the music was not all that good, the crowd sure was enjoying it. Maybe I was expecting too much, or maybe the crowd has bad music taste... I dunno. Since a majority of them are literally jumping high, I'm just gonna assume that it was me.

Now again, I dunno if it's really just me but I had a guy, who can't keep his hand to himself, followed me around. First, I didn't know him. Second, he groped me. Not once, not twice, but more. In the beginning, I really didn't notice if it was the same guy. I was walking around, I felt a hand on my butt but I didn't look back. I just assume that it was normal to be taken advantage of since I'm oh-so-irresistible in a dark enclosed place where people can't see how ugly I am. Then it happened again, and again, and finally I got fed up and turn to see who it was. This is where my favorite line comes into play: "God was never that kind to me." The person who was harassing me all this while didn't turn out to even hit the "average" line in my target range, and clearly, with all the brushing of his hands on me and groping while I was making my way around the club, I certainly have to give him brownie points for the effort... but still... I got to 24 and told him what happened and told him that I'm going out to get a breather. 24 got pisssed. It turns out that he knew who he person was and made him apologize to me. Never in my life would I imagine anyone taking him seriously but the guy was kinda intimidated and actually apologized!

Counting the time I went to Atmosphere with Darrel and his brothers, a few years back, this is actually the second time I stayed until closing time. The crowd dispersed and disappeared before the lights came on --are those people really that insecure about how they look???-- and 24, Sammi, Justin (who looks fucking familiar but I just can't recall where I've seen him) and I were the last ones to leave.

Having no transportation to go back, 24 was to send Sammi and I back. And then it happened...

-jessism © 05112007 -

Thursday, November 01, 2007

11 Years

It's strange how time flies.

In exactly 11 years ago, today, I received a letter from an "ordinary girl", who wanted to be friends with me. She was 15 then.

We started to writing to each other. Ever since, waiting and checking the mailbox for her letter became a normal routine of my life. We would share stories of our lives, tell each other lil' secrets, and we would send each other our latest pictures (which I've already compiled hers into two albums)...

We were writing to each other so frequently, that I could even memorize her house address without checking for it. Letters we wrote to each other would sometimes exceed 12 pages (front and back), and we would find ways to beat the postal system, so that we could safe stamp money. (We were sending out so many letters, it was draining out our pocket money!) She taugh me one need trick, which is to put a couple of layers of glue on top of the stamp we use on the envelope, so that when the people at the post office chop the stamp, the ink would be imprinted on the glue. When the other party gets the stamp, we can just wash the stamp and reuse it again! Neat trick ain't it?!

If I were to compile the stack of letters she sent me over the past 11 years, my guess is that, is would be thicker than our college textbook! LOL...

Throughout the 11 years, we only met each other ONCE. I can't remember exactly which year was it but if memory serves me right, it was somewhere between 2003 - 2005. Yes, we only meet up after almost a decade of writing to each other! If I'm not mistaken, she wanted to gave me some CNY cookies she baked. Since you can't possibly send that by post, we were "forced" to meet up. We chatted for less than 15 mins and then she left. It was very late, you can't really blame us for having such a short conversation.)

Although we never saw each other again after that day, we still do write to each other from time to time, but not as crazily frequent as it used to be 11 years ago.

Dearie, I really can't believe that it's already been 11 years! If I were to be straight, I would definately consider asking you to marry me! LOL... Anyways, it's great to have known you for more than a decade, dearie! -*HuGz*-

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Kiss & Tell

Kissing is said to be a great way to express love.

I have friends who until today (they are over 20 now), who would still kiss their mother, which I find extremely hot. (I am a Cancerian. I'll always be attracted to people who love their mother.) Of course, I'm not referring to French-kissing, you moron! I'm talking about those pecks on the cheek or on the hands thing.

Listening to a radio show, Kidder (host) told his co-host that he would do anything the wife wanted him to do, even if it means having to go down on another guy or having sex with him. But that's all he is willing to do. If she asks him to kiss the guy, he would flip. Now, this is a straight guy who is very man about his sexuality and is certainly not bi. He is willing to suck another guy and have sex with another guy, but not kiss him?! Correct me if I'm wrong, but ain't the sucking worse than the kissing?

Talking to a few straight male friends of mine, while some screamed no, some gave me the same answer. It's ok for them to have sex with another man but it's not ok for them if the guy wanted them to kiss. What the...?! Since I'm someone who wouldn't do any of those with another who is not my boyfriend, I really don't know what it's like. But the way I see it, since you're already having the person's phallus down your throat, what's a little kiss going to hurt? I really don't get it.

Enlighten me, please!

- jessism © 11082007 -

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sex: Smegma

(Disclaimer: Jess is famous for posting weird/gross topics, this is one of them. Feel free to NOT read this posting if, by reading the very obvious title, you feel that you will feel offended by the content. The author will NOT be responsible for any mental scarring left behind by this posting.)

I hate to admit this, but I do have a case of mysophobia. I can get disgusted easily by a lot of things.

Talking to a friend online, the guy was telling me a disgusting experience he had when he decided to go down on his girlfriend. Instead of a clean crotch, dude came across a white substance that I block the rest of the details after that out, in order to not puke my breakfast back out.

When it comes to him asking me about my biggest turn off in sex, the only thing I can think of is the word: "smegma".

Bad breath can be easily overcome. Though I may NOT French-kiss you, normal kissing which doesn't involve my tongue going into somewhere that stinks is still fine with me. But smegma?! Ugrh!!! Just the thought of it is enough to make me wanna slap the person... Ok, puke first, then slap the person when I regain my strength. ( Thank god, my ex is cut...)

It's not just a matter of personal hygine but also a matter of something known as: RESPECT! Don't ever go out with a dick that stings with the smell and contain traces of smegma!! PLEASE!!! You'll never know when you might end up getting laid! If you don't give a damn about your personal hygiene, consider it a form of respect for the other person. Wash your dick!!

For those of you who are oh-so-innocent and doesn't know what smegma is, it is a yellowish cheesy substance that can usually be found under the penis head of certain uncircumcised male, that thing also carries a very very very very bad odor! Also known as "cheese" in laymen's term, smegma, dare I emphasize, is an indication of poor bad extremely bad personal hygiene!!! I know there are probably some minority out there who has certain fetish towards this disgusting substance, I don't. I just find it extremely disgusting.

For the curious bunch of you out there who are yet to be grossed out by this posting, feel free to click on this link for an image of what smegma looks like. (WARNING: Gross disturbing visual within…)

What about the rest of you out there? Anyone who actually encountered this disturbing/disgusting thingy and is still alive to tell the tale?

(For more information on uncircumcised penis health, please consult your family doctor.)

- jessism © 18102007 -

Sex: Hickey

I was very close to stop posting these sex-related topics, but I really can't help it. There are people out there who need to be educated!!! Here's what happened:

Returning from my long Raya holiday, while having a conversation with 魔鬼鱼, I found out that she does not know how a hickey came to be. Her idea was to bite the person until the desired bruising effect is achieved. I dunno what gave her that weird idea, or where she heard it from, but it sure is scary!

Those who know me would know that jess is very very very very much afraid of pain. To let someone bite me until it bruises is just not my idea of sexual fun! I love hickies, giving them or receiving them, but if there's any truth in having to be bitten until I bruise, trust me, I'd whack the shit out of the fucker who bites me before anything else! When I heard of how 魔鬼鱼 thought that hickies came to be, you can imagine the horrified look on my face! I knew that I have to do something about it before she actually hurts someone!

(At the same time, I can already imagine the doctor sniggering away as he/she treats the wound on the poor soul she bit...)

For those of you who have no friggin' idea how a hickey came to be, it is NOT from biting!!!! What you do is you put your lips against the side of their neck, or wherever you wanted the hickey to be, as if you're kissing them, leave your mouth slightly open and suck! The key is to suck on the skin... NOT bite! This will usually take not more than 15 seconds for the hickey to appear... that is unless, your sucking skill is really that bad... (I refuse to comment further on that...)

Like any bruise on your body, a hickey should be gone in a few days time, as hickies are caused by broken vessels beneath the skin - exactly like a bruise lah! If you still have no idea what I'm talking about, please do Google the word "hickey" before you go around biting people!

PS: 魔鬼鱼, if you're reading this, remember: DO NOT BITE!!! SUCK!!! - No pun intended.

- jessism © 18102007 -

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sex: Faking It

Yup. Faking "it".

Worldwide, more than 80% of women admitted to faking orgasms. In fact I have verbal confirmation from most of my female friends saying that they do fake it. Well, guess what? You're not the only one who knows how to do it! Talking to a couple of guy friends of mine, both straight and gay, I discovered that men do fake orgasm as well!

Shocking, isn't it?

I know you're probably thinking that it's easy for the 'receiving' gay men to fake it, which is true. I talked to a few of my gay friends who are at the receiving end and according to them, they do fake it most of the time in order to get their partners off. Usual excuse reasons, as like those of women, are:
1. Tired
2. My boyfriend wants it but I don't, so I fake it just to pleasure him
3. He's not really doing it right, but I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings
4. It will help boost his confidence and bring us closer together if he thinks that I am enjoying it

I'm not so sure about Excuse #3. I mean, how can someone not do "it" right? Ain't there but one way to do it? Then again, come to think of it, I think it sure hold some truth to it. Heck, I sure don't want to hear my partner telling me that he's not enjoying whatever I'm doing while we're having sex! But the main point is, women and 'receiving' gay men aren't the only ones who can fake it. Even straight men and gay men on the 'giving' side can fake orgasm. Trust me. I've done it before. =þ

How? Well, I dunno. How do you women do it? I think it's about the same. We probably do the same ooh and ahh and pray hard that you won't notice.

Why? I guess the reasons are almost the same: Tired, not wanting to offend our partner, and (or), wanting to get things over with ASAP. Now women out there are probably saying that I'm bullshitting, why would men wanted to get over with sex as soon as they could when they're a bunch of horny bastards? But I'm not making this up! These are actual words from actual straight men! If you don't believe me, go ask your boyfriend or husband! But I doubt that they'll admit it as easily as I do.

But there is a moral to this posting. Yes, for some weird twisted reason there is a moral to this twisted posting that jess wrote.

Do notice that all of us have something in common. The "tired" excuse is always there. So the way I see it, next time, don't have sex with your partner when he/she is tired. Chances are, the person might be faking it.

- jessism (c) 28092007 -

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sex: Numbers

Apart from "durability" in bed, another topic which was mentioned was "frequency".

I always thought that when TV shows mentioned that most men would just lay dead after sex is a just myth, my dear friend seemed to prove me wrong by saying that one time is already taxing enough, he would opt to not go for seconds, if possible, lest to say a third or perhaps fourth helping.

Asking for opinions from other friends, a straight friend told me one, if he has to "do heavy workout", and he'll only go for seconds if he's "lusty or crazy"; a gay friend told me that the maximum for him was three times; while a girlfriend of mine told me that her record was twice - "once guy become soft then no go". She also added that if the guy is hot, and if he is still hard, she would want more! (So guys, now you know what women wants! It's not the duration of the sessions that counts, it's the frquency!)

Bro, I hope you're reading this: One of my girlfriend even told me that her boyfriend and her went at it for SEVEN times within 24 hours!! And they did that, get this, TWICE! And you call me some weirdo on drugs?! While, another girlfriend of mine told me that her boyfriend and her actually went at it for SIX times IN ONE NIGHT! "After that we were both tired and walking funny. I don't recommend it."

What was your highest record of sex count IN ONE NIGHT? Do share.

- jessism © 26092007 -

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Sex: Ejaculation

It's starting to become clear that my friends like to discuss their sexperience and their sexcapades with me. Not that I'm complaining, cos without them, I wouldn't be having anything interesting to blog about now, would I?

Anyway…

Was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday, while having a very decent conversation – in other words: Bitching About Work – we somehow ended up talking about how long a person could last in bed. (Don't ask me how we got there.) I was asked of how long generally could I last, on average, in bed… minus foreplay. The person said that the maximum average for him would be around 5 minutes.

I hesitated for awhile and gave him my answer. The minute I mentioned the estimated average, I knew that this is going to be a neverending conversation.

"Are you sure you're not on drugs? Ice? Marijuana? Viagra?! You have got to be on some sort of drug you're not telling me of," he said.

"I'm not!!! I mean, think about it! If you can only last for 5 minutes, imagine what's going to happen if you're having a threesome. How do you..."

"Wait, you had a threesome before?"

Oops...

"Oh my gawd, bro. You've changed. What happened to you?"

Erm... I discovered sex?

Oh well, that's another topic all together. Let's just keep our focus on the topic of "How Long Can A Man Last In Bed Before He Ejaculates?"

As if the topic is not interesting enough, he just has to tell me that someone we know can only last for less than 3 minutes!

.

..

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

I went into shock.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't an average person last for at least to 10 minutes in bed, minus foreplay?! Not that I time myself or anything, but seriously... C'mon! Do tell me I'm not crazy! One could definitely last for more than 5 minutes in bed without counting in the foreplay, right? Girls, please do tell! How long can your man last in bed? Go anonymous if you have to! Just please do tell!

- jessism © 25092007 -

Saturday, September 22, 2007

921: 愛的回憶

小狗再度失眠了~!

自從小老鼠來了KL後,小狗就沒再失眠了.但如大家所知,小老鼠在上個星期搬走了.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
370天前, 小狗通過了朋友認識了小老鼠
當時小狗還被小老鼠討厭了呢!之後, 因為我們都有喜歡KENNY KWAN的共同點, 而拉進了我們的關係.

368天前, 小狗和小老鼠第一次約吃午餐. 還記得當天小老鼠是站在LEISURE MALL的一棵樹下,還穿了一身打工服,打了領帶.那天的午餐是在一間日本餐廳-九州.我們都叫了那天的SET LUNCH.午餐後,小老鼠送了一支ORAL-B CROSS ACTION牙刷給小狗.當時,小狗覺得很俗但還是收下了.

一年前的今天,和小老鼠在LEISURE MALL看戲.那晚,小狗和小老鼠KISS了!當時小狗還傻傻的問了一句:"我們這算是開始了嗎?"現在想起來還有夠爛的!但那晚小狗開心得睡不著~!

在那幾天後,小狗和朋友們上了金馬倫.小老鼠還自己錄了一首歌寄了給小狗來表達對小狗的思念.小狗那晚甜到~~
從金馬倫回來時,小狗買了一束玫瑰花和一個長得滿像小老鼠的鑰匙圈給小老鼠.回來的那晚,小狗得知小老鼠從未收過男友送的花.小狗還有點小得意的呢~!

2006年10月:和小老鼠過的第一個生日,小老鼠喝醉而且還吐了!

2006年12月:小狗被人陷害而失去了工作.小老鼠在那(和往後的幾個月)都好照顧小狗.一直鼓勵小狗.

2007年2月14日:小老鼠告訴小狗因家人的關係而不能和小狗過情人節.小狗好傷心.第一個情人節就這樣沒了...

2007年4月前段:小狗從泰國回來時,發現小老鼠不知為何對小狗態度冷漠.連小狗從泰國買回來的禮物小老鼠看也不看多一眼.回家時也沒把它拿走.心真的好疼.當時小狗也正好得了KL這分工而將離開JB,滋味真不好受.那段時期,小老鼠連看都沒來看小狗.就連小狗搬家到小狗離去的那天小老鼠電話也沒通.

2007年4月13日:雖然捨不得,但小狗還是離開了JB.那是小狗真的以為會就此失去了小老鼠.但是,奇怪的是距離反而把我們拉近了.小老鼠也在那時答應小狗儘快的找KL的工作,然後會上來陪小狗.

2007年5月:在KL的日子比小狗想像中的難熬,不是失眠,就是想念.日子過得好辛苦.

2007年6月8日:小老鼠莫名其妙的提出了分手.小狗心都碎了.那之後的幾天,小狗都沒多睡到.心情底落好失望
2007年6月15日:小狗和朋友上了雲頂.小老鼠那晚打了電話給小狗請求復合.說他錯了,也答應不會再讓小狗傷心和辜負小狗.

2007年7月8日:小老鼠搬上KL來了.小狗覺得是這一生最幸福的事!但小老鼠一上來,事情就變得好複雜 -
小老鼠MISS了小狗的生日.雖然小狗心裡有數當天發生的事,但還是睜一只眼閉一只眼的原諒了小老鼠.但不到幾天,大事發生了 -
小狗發現一直被身邊的人矇騙.小老鼠竟然和一個女人拍拖!騙了小狗10個多月?!小狗也在當天發現,小老鼠連情人節也是和這女人過!小狗當時好痛恨小老鼠.好想把他給殺了!
事過不久,又從友人口中聽見了小老鼠在外面高外遇,一腳踏幾船,還答應了對方會和小狗分手,等.雖然小老鼠一再否認,但小狗已存半信半疑狀態了.小狗也有了心理準備,知道小老鼠將會離去.

2007年8月:小老鼠告訴小狗他會找地方搬.小狗心好痛,但卻裝瀟灑的回了:隨你吧,但心卻苦苦的忍住眼淚.往後的日子,小狗都好珍惜和小老鼠在一起的時間,因為小狗知道別離的日子也快來臨了.

2007年9月11日:小老鼠搬走了.小狗雖然心里知道會這一天的到來,但那一天卻忍不住在公司哭了.心真得好酸.

2007年9月12日:小老鼠終於說了!"我們還是當回普通朋友吧."那一晚,小狗崩潰了.在小老鼠車上哭了一大場.當時小狗腦海里浮現了種種畫面.從見到小老鼠在那樹下等著小狗的模樣,第一次接吻,收到小老鼠寄的歌,第一次聽到小老鼠為小狗改篇的歌詞...等.心里超痛.連話都說不出口.小狗那晚在車上哭了有整個小時吧?在小狗下車時,小狗回了一句:"對不起,我做不到."

2007年9月19日:一直在朋友面前裝沒事的小狗又哭了.那晚小狗在Amcorp Mall跌樓梯,電話掉了,memory card丟了.因為小老鼠寄給小狗的歌就在那張memory card里,小狗好躁急,一直很屏命的找memory card,而小狗身邊的朋友卻擔心小狗又沒有跌傷.小狗還忍住淚水笑道:"沒事啦!"但心里卻好傷心 - 連剩下的回憶都沒了...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
今天,一年了:今天的感覺好孤單.雖然知道是不可能卻一直看著手機很希望會有小老鼠的訊息.心里一直一直好期待...
獨自一個人去看了一部戲劇.戲院里都充滿了笑聲,但小狗卻毫無喜感.心里在想著:你現在在那哩,和誰在一起,在做些甚麼?

真的好想拿起電話打給你,聽聽你的聲音,只要一聲HELLO也好...但手變得好重,連要按下號碼的力也沒有.

回家的路上,把原本要送你的禮物丟了.一直說服催眠自己說是一重了結的方式.但回到家里,忽然間覺得房間好空,又想起和你的點點滴滴,結果又哭了...想起了你躺在床上睡覺的樣子,但卻記不起你身上的味道,心好酸痛,而眼淚一直很不爭氣的不停在掉...

- 小狗日記 © 21092007-0550H -

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dreams

Came across an interesting phrase in last week's chapter of "xXxHolic".

"如果都是夢的話, 我該怎麼辦? 相逢和相遇如果都是夢...會悲傷嗎?"
(Translation: What should I do if all is but a dream? If all encounters in life are all just apart of the dream, would you be sad?")

I know there is a saying that says life is but a dream, but you be disappointed if everything really is but a dream? The one you love, the people you cared for, the memories of you and everyone you knew… everything.

Yes, it would be great if all the bad things that happened to us can just be forgotten like a bad dream, but with the recent events that has been going on in my life, I'm not sure if I wanted things to be as though a bad dream that I would forget after I wake… or should I had it be a real life experience that I live through and remember for the rest of my life?

"夢有兩種...醒著的夢和睡著的夢. 不管是那一種, 只要堅定的祈禱就可以變成現實.你所經歷過的那些真實會讓你變得堅強, 而只要用這份堅強來不停的許愿夢就會成真."
(Translation: There are two types of dreams: The dreams you have when you're awake and the dreams you have when you sleep. All that you have experienced will make you stronger. With determination, either dream will become a reality.)

I guess what makes us us is our determination to achieve our dreams and to live the life we wanted. It's our dreams that keeps us going. More like day and night, one could not have existed if it weren't for the other.

- a jessism © 19092007 -

Monday, September 17, 2007

Parents

If you wanna know where I get my craziness from, you should definitely meet my family parents.

A visit home is just marked as a beginning when your parents pick you up from whether that you're stopping at. Be it the airport, train station, or even bus terminal, the routine parental remarks would usually be:
            a. How was the trip?
            b. You look tired.
            c. Go get some rest.
Mine was more like: How was the trip, I bet it was tiring. You look tired, didn't you sleep on the bus? You need to go get some rest when we get home.

Mothers. I really can't tell whether they are a blessing from God or the Chef From Hell sent by the Devil to punish us for all the stuff turkeys we ate. It seems as though all moms are programmed to stuff their kids like turkeys whenever they go home for a visit. On the morning I got home, I discovered that my mom had made a fridge filled with soya bean jelly for me, which is great~! Who doesn't like dessert, right? But when I found out what she prepared for lunch, I almost faint. Mom bought me curry noodle from my favorite stall, cooked some of my favorite dishes, boiled a pot of herbal soup, and on top of that, she cooked both porridge AND rice! All that for just ONE meal! Mom, I love you, but don't you think that's a little bit far too much for your skinny son?

After lunch, I decided to go have a look around the house.

A pile of overgrown weed? Look closely. It's a bunch of mint my mom grew that has now occupied almost a quarter of our backyard! When I talked to my mom about it, her exact reaction was: "Aren't they beautiful?" Yeah, if they were bunch of flowers or maybe if we are the supplier for Wrigley’s Spearmint!

Walking into our garden, I noticed that the rambutan tree that was there since I was a kid is missing. When I asked mom why the rambutan tree was chopped, she told me that the tree is too old and is growing out of hand, so it had to go before it collapses on to the house. Then she proceed to add, "Did you see the longan tree I planted to replace it?" Right, so a rambutan tree can collapse onto our house but a longan tree can't??

Apart from just chopping down the tree, Mom and Dad seem to think that it's a great idea to dig the roots out as well. Which is ok by me, but what happens after is that they left a hole big enough to be a swimming drowning pool. When I asked my Dad about the hole, he told me that he's making a kid-size swimming pool for mom?! (Talk about crazy parents!)

jessism © 17092007

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

DH4

Come September 30th.
It's going to be juicier than ever.

More dirty laundries are going to be aired.

And it really is going to be a hell of a day in the neighborhood.

Are you ready?

"Desperate Housewives: Season 4" Premiering September 30th.

Inevitable

The inevitable has happened: Kenny moved out yesterday.

It's strange how things might sometimes turn out. I am the kind of person who does not like to have a roommate. You can call me selfish, weird or even obsessive compulsive, whatever-it-is, I just can't stand sharing the same room with another person. I don't like to be rushed and when in the washroom: be it bathing or "making a deposit". I don't like other people touching my things. I don't like having the idea that people might actually go through my things when I am not around. I don't like people sitting on my bed. I don't like people touching anything at all that is on my bed (cause they might leave their stench and then I would be forced to change my sheets). I want my stuff to stay mine and I just don't want anybody to go near it.

The strange thing is: I am starting to get use to having Kenny around so much, that now that he's moving, I really feel very reluctant. I know at some point the kid will be moving out but I guess one could never be prepared for this kind of stuff, or can they? I can't help but to think about how different things would be if we were still living together.

Sigh... I guess it's time to move on now. It's the beginning of a new chapter in his life, I guess, so should it mark mine as well. As "they" (whoever "they" may be) say: "The end is the beginning is the end..."

- jessism © 12.09.2007 -

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Maybank

I never liked them. They provide the worse service in town, charge you for every single little thing you need done, charge you for putting your money in their bank, and with all the money collected from all the charges they impose on you, they use it to hire the worse staff with the worse attitude available in Malaysia to serve you. It's one of the most money-sucking bank in Malaysia.

I was forced to open an account with them a few years back when I joined Cathay. The branch that I was asked to go to was the one in Burma Road. When I opened the account, the girl over the counter told me that their new accounts are all passbookless, and gave me just an ATM card. I was really very skeptic about all this. When I asked the girl how would I know about my balance and statement, she told me that I could print it over the ATM.

After I stop working for Cathay and moved to JB, my (then) new company also transfer our pay through Maybank. Leaving me no choice but to keep the account open. (I would've closed the acccount if it weren't for them.)

Having the need for literally NO human contact at all (with any Maybank staff) throughout the two years, I began to find that it ain't that bad after all... until recently.

Somehow, my bank card died on me over the weekend. For some strange reason, I could not access my account at all. After two years, I finally need to talk to a Maybank staff! -*gasp*-

Going to the branch in Old Klang Road yesterday, which I frequent to get my dealings with the ATM done, I spoke to a helping and nice lady over the counter. I thought to myself: "wow, their service has improved!" The lady over the counter - sorry I can't remember her name - was shocked to find that I do not have any bank account number written on my ATM card and it was signed. In a very polite way, she told asked me which branch was the card obtained fom and she then excused herself to speak to someone who is in charge - An older lady.

The older lady freaked out the moment she saw that the card doesn't carry any signature! She began to question me if I was the rightful owner of the card and why did I not sign on the card. She also asked me for the 16-digit bank account number which only a genius would be able to memorize and expect me to read it out to her. Since I can't pull the string of numbers out, she wanted me to go to the ATM and demonstrate to her what I did that the ATM machine rejected my card. As if I was some nut job who doesn't know how to use the ATM! It was after the machine rejected my card again that she asked for my IC and helped me check on what was wrong with the card! Why the fuck can't she jsut help me check it in the first place instead of wasting my time in there?! Is this Maybank's idiotic office policy?! To make fun of the customer and waste more of their precious time before helping them with whatever they needed to get done?! In case you whackos at Maybank don't remember, WE pay your salary! If WE don't put money in your bank, YOU wouldn't have a job now!

After checking, she told me that I've entered my PIN wrong three times and the card has now been barred. Erm.. EXCUSE ME?! I've been using the same PIN number for two years, how can it be wrong?! The best part was, she told me that since I am from Penang, they are not able to help me replace the card unless I go back to the branch where I had the account with. When I told her that the account is in Penang, she went: "Oh... Then why don't you get it replaced when you go back to Penang?" EXCUSE ME?!

Seeing that I was almost about to scream and shout at the old lady, the counter girl suggested to me that I can do whatever withdrawal I needed over the counter and gave me a form and a number.

When it came to my turn, pretending that I didn't know what was wrong with my card, I asked the teller to help me check what was wrong it. She told me that my card has been barred for keying in the wrong pin number. When I told her that it was the right key number all along, she told me that I can get the card replaced just by filling up a form which I can easily get from the counter downstairs.

Okay.. first I was told that I cannot get my card replaced in KL, now I have a teller over the counter telling me that I can get my card replaced?! What the fuck is going on?! Oh, did I mentioned that I was charged RM0.50 for me over-the-counter withdrawal. (First I let them keep my money and now they're charging me for taking it out?!)

Going down to the nice counter lady, I told her that I wanted a form for a replacement card. While passing me the form, she told me that since my card is issued outstation, it might take a very long while before they can verify all information and give me a replacement card. I told her that it's ok, and she told me to go to another counter when I was done filling the form up.

When I got to the counter, I was greeted by a Malay female staff that hissed at me: "Apa mau?!" (Translation: What you want?!) When she saw the form I passed to her, she asked me which branch was I from and I told her, Penang. Suddenly she went: "Sini tak boleh buat. Siapa panggil you mai sini?" (Translation: It cannot be done here, who ask you to come here?) When I told her a teller from upstairs said that it can be done here and asked me to filled up a form, she just kept quiet.

I later learned that apparently, for them to "help" someone from outstation to do this would take up a lot of time and follow-up. In order to NOT get involve in such acts, they tell the person that it cannot be done, so that the person would go bug the bank that they are from.

The moral of this story? NEVER EVER open an account with Maybank. They have rude and unhelpful staff. They charge you for everything. If you're looking for the worse bank in town, this is the one that just MAY fuck you up. (If you haven’t heard of them, their logo is as shown below.)

(Conclusion: Jess did not get his card replaced as the Malay Female Staff told me that it cannot be done. Fuck this fucked up establishment! I'm going to close my account when I go back to Penang!)

- jessism © 05092007 -

Monday, September 03, 2007

Long Weekend

August was a crazy month: Busy work schedule. Fucked up designer messing up the magazine. Nosy people who can't seem to mind their own business came poking around. Disrespectful people crack distasteful jokes and think that it's funny when no one's laughing. People who have mental issues sent me mental notes and notices about how they hated me. (And one would think that only celebrities gets hate mails? Not that I don't mind learning more about my fans' life - should I be calling them "fans"? - but I got better things to worry about, like my own life, for instance.)

Despite all the craziness, I got a much needed break thanks to Tunku Abdul Rahman – a 3-day long weekend.

Left KL early Friday morning to Johore with Myels, Benzamine, and Kenny. While the three went back to their parents', I tagged along and took the opportunity to visit the 60-year-old landlady I stayed with when I was working in JB. After sending Ben and Kenny back, when Myels dropped me at Aunty's place, it was already 2pm. Knowing that I will be staying over, Aunty insisted on cooking me dinner, which include my favorite curry chicken. (Yummmy~!)

Went out for karaoke with Ben, Oz, Kenny, and Greg on Saturday morning before heading over to Singapore to hunt for a new phone. Yeah, time for the old phone to retire to a less hectic user - ie: my mom. I was almost forced into buying an obsolete phone while browsing through phone shops in Lucky Plaza. The sales person insisted that I buy the phone he was recommending to me, it was at that time when I got a text message from David which gave me an idea for a getaway lie! Phew~!

Meeting up with David at Orchard MRT, he accompanied me to Far East to check out more phone prices before I finally decided on buying. Yes, jess has got a new phone now! Sony Ericsson T650i~!! Now I can do video call! Yipee~!!!

We met up with Tom not long after that and decided to go have dinner at Wisma Atria. Just right after we ordered and as I was about to start eating, I got a text message from Kenny saying that his mother had cooked dinner for me and wanted me to go over the minute I got back from Singapore. (Uh-oh... this can't be good! Ex-mother-in-law inviting me over for dinner and I miss it?!) I tried my best to finish my bowl of noodle soup the fastest I could and took off half way during dinner to rush back to JB.

As we are supposed to depart early Sunday morning from JB back to KL, I was to arrange the itinerary for the following day so that our travel plans don't get screwed up. I was to go have dinner at Kenny's place after I reached JB, spend the night at his place, Greg would drive me and Kenny to Aunty's place the next day, then Myels can pick the both of us up from there.

When I reached Aunty's place and told that we will be leaving after lunch, Aunty insisted that we have lunch with her the next day before leaving.
Although I called Aunty early Sunday morning that I will be reaching her place after 1pm and asked for her to have lunch first, when Greg got us got there around 12.30pm, Aunty told Kenny that she was waiting for us so that we could all have lunch together! (Damn touched!) Went we got into the kitchen, I could smell the sweet smell of tom yam! She cooked us Tom Yam Chicken!! Yay!!! The best part was, she even made Kenny's favourite ABC soup! (Haha... Thank you, Aunty! Thank you so very much!!!)

Thanks to Tunku Abdul Rahman, we managed to get this 3-day long weekend break.

Thanks to Tunku Abdul Rahman, I managed to get a much deserved break away from my crazy workplace.

Thanks to Tunku Abdul Rahman Aunty, Kenny, Greg and I, were able to enjoy a delicious lunch!

It was definitely the best weekend I've had all month!

- jessism © 03092007 -

Monday, August 20, 2007

Meeting Kenny Kwan

It was the happiest weekend I've had this year!

If you have me added as a friend on Friendster or Myspace, you would know that the few people I would like to meet most in my life are: Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Jamie Oliver, Jim Verraros, Kenny Kwan and God (if there's one). With the obvious giveaway blog headline and the picture on the right, bet you already know who I met over the weekend! Muahahaha...

Knowing that Kenny Kwan is in Malaysia already got me and Kenny (the mouse, not the artist) jumping with joy. When we heard that he will be having a autograph session for his new album "In Progress" at Cheras Leisure Mall, we kinda concluded that we MUST be there! Suddenly, going over to Cheras without knowing where exactly is the Leisure Mall and the possibility of us getting stuck in a bad jam are no longer obstacles. The most important thing is: We get to meet Kenny Kwan!

On the way over, we talked about the possibility of having less than 50 people attending the event. After all, this guy is not really that well known in Malaysia. Songs from his previous albums didn't get much airplay in Malaysia! His second album, "MusicK" didn't even make it our shores! So as we are stuck in the jam, we kinda fantasize about no one turning up for the event and how we are able to have Kenny Kwan to ourselves...

When we got there, there are only a handful of people around. Probably the least of crowd I've seen so far for an autograph session from a Hong Kong singer. But you can tell that those who are there are hardcore fans! They have posters and banners at hand, some even with digicam and paper bags filled with CDs, posters, magazines and God-knows-what... There were even fans that came all the way from Singapore!

Kenny Kwan arrived on time and sang the first two singles from his "In Progress". I was so worried that his voice might actually break when he tried to hit those high notes but he managed to make it through all of them effortlessly.

Then it's time a game. The hostess wanted 6 people to go on stage to confess their love for Kenny Kwan. Sounds easy. Since guys are allowed, I put my hands up and in my head, I was screaming, "Me!! Me!! Me!! Me!!" Then the hostess went: "You~! The guy at the back!" In my head, the voiceover immediately turns into: "Oh shit! Fuck! Really? Me?! What am I going to say to him?!"

"Really?! I'm supposed to go on stage to talk to Kenny Kwan?!" I could barely walk straight as I make my way up the stage. When I saw him standing so close in front of me... it was like I died and went to heaven. He's so fucking gorgeous up close! I can't believe that I still get star-struck after all those years with Cinema Online and meeting so many celebrities for one-on-one interviews!

On stage, I was dead nervous. Waiting for my turn, I was struggling hard to think of something intelligent to say. At the same time I was trying to calm myself down, telling myself that I've done this hundred times. This is not the first time I talk to a HK celeb. I can do this. But when it comes to my turn, all I could think of was: "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh Shit!"

When I walked up to him and looked him in the eyes, I lost it. His eyes! His smile! He's so freaking hot! My mind's a blank. I don't know what to say. All I could remember was: He was looking at me, smiling. I was trying very hard to swallow fast and refrain myself from drooling in public. The voiceover in my head went: "Fuck it! Just talk to Kenny Kwan! Screw the world! Say whatever that comes to mind!"

I knew I have to say something smart. So I took a deep breath and went: "People always say action speaks louder than words, if all these people are not around, I would definitely kiss you!" Great! I just told one of the person that I would like to meet most in my life that I wanted to kiss him in public!

The voiceover in my head went: "Good job, Jess! You get to speak to Kenny Kwan and this is the smartest thing can you come up with?! What a dumbass!" At that point, I knew I wasn't gonna win, but I really didn't care. I was already too high to think straight. I just told Kenny Kwan I wanted to kiss him! How many guys dare to say that in public?! (Oh God… I hope no one who knows me was there!)

After the game, Kenny Kwan sang three more songs and took a couple of group shots with the fans before proceeding with the autographing session. (See if you can spot me in the pictures below. Click to enlarge.)

As most of our Boy'Z and Kenny Kwan memorabilia were locked away safely in our hometown, we only managed to get him to autograph our "In Progress" CD, his promo poster, the "In Progress" photo album... OH!!! OH!!! OH!!! And I also get to touch him!!! Wheee!!! Definitely the best weekend I've had so far this year!

One down, five more to go! =D

- jessism © 20082007 -