It seems like it was just a week ago that Amy, Ash, Keith and I had our New Year celebration party, where Amy taught us her "Mexican tradition" where we have to stuff them grapes down our throat when the clock strikes 12 on New Year Eve….
In less than 48 hours, we will be bidding farewell to 2005 and greet a brand new year.
2005 has been a good year. Not fabulous, not fantastic, just plain ol' good. It is also the year that I managed to achieve most of my New Year Resolutions. (Keyword: "most".) I went for a concert (Jay Chou); travel out of Malaysia (Singapore); got a new job (Cathay Cineplexes); got (another) new job with a higher salary (PHHP Marketing); and I'm-sure-there-are-a–couple-more-that-I-can’t-think-of-right-now.
Since 2005 is coming to an end, it could only mean that I need a new set of New Year Resolutions. Speaking of which, is it just me? Doers any of you still do New Year Resolutions? Hmm… Anyways, here are five that I need to get done by the end of June 2006. Let’s see how many of them I can get done by then:
1. Take a trip
This excludes Malaysia, Singapore, and Brunei. I'm thinking either Athens, or one of those Spanish speaking countries. So I kinda need to…
2. Brush up my Spanish
My Spanish is going from bad to very the utmost baddest. If I ever want to bag my Latino, I better start polishing my Spanish.
3. Visit my grandparents at least once every two months
They are getting older each year and I feel that it's my duty as their grandson to visit them more often. I really missed them a lot. Which is why no matter what it takes, I need to remind myself…
4. NOT to skip CNY this year!
No matter how much those darn plane tickets cost, I need to go back on CNY and do that reunion dinner thingy with them! Even if it means that I have to pay RM700 to those bloodsucking people at Malaysian Airlines!
5. Get an iPod
Let's just say that my trusty Sony Discman is not so trustworthy anymore, and it's time for a new and reliable replacement to take its place.
Well, that's all for now. I'll continue the second part of this in June 2005. Happy New Year everybody!
A Jessism © 30122005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
ChR|StMaS |n S|nGaP0R3
Celebrated my first Christmas away from Malaysia. Though it is Singapore is not very far away from here, I have to say that it's an experience that I won't forget.
Singapore is a beautiful place during Christmas. Unfortunately, the countdown to the 25th was very much disappointment. There were no stage performance at Orchard, the roads weren't close, and some of the policemen were rude.
The people that were at Orchard on Christmas Eve were a bunch of crazy people that I would love to see again if I choose to go back there for another crazy street party. But it is sad to say that minus an official countdown, it just doesn’t feel right at all.
The people of Singapore do seem to take Christmas seriously. Apart from the colourful decorations all around, everywhere you go, you’ll hear people wishing you "Merry Christmas".
Kudos to the staff at McDonalds'! All the staff there seemed like they are getting a triple pay raise for every customer they smiled at. And do note that their smile is not one of those "my boss forced me to smile" look, but more of a "I'm very happy to see you even though I have to work on Christmas Eve" look. For a moment there, it made me feel so bad knowing that they have to work while I'm about to party the night away.
I also discovered something rather interesting while I was having my meal at Mc-D.
Apparently, Singapore has something call the GEMS program going on. It's a program where you have the opportunity to say a big thank you to the person who served you by giving them a thank you note, as well as your name and your contact number, just in case they would like to call you out for a date.
I'm not BS-ing you here. It's true! Besides letting you saying thank you, the Thank You card comes with a space for you to fill in your contact number. The way I see it, it's just another way for me to boldly give my number to the cute guy behind the counter without the fear of facing rejection. I wrote mine contact number down on the card... but unfortunately I was too chicken shit to walk up to the cute guy behind the counter to pass him the card.
Well, I can't wait to go back there again on New Year's Eve. I hope New Year's Eve will be better than what I experienced during Christmas.
A Jessism © 27122005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Right Or Wrong?
I received a two SMS from my housemates in JB earlier today. My take is that I'm partially wrong, but I'll you be the judge of what is going on:
His first SMS was: Hi Jess. Please make sure to switch off light before u go to work. I found so many of long hair at the sofa area and balcony. Have a COURTESY to clean it up.
My thoughts: I am on Christmas holiday. What he doesn't know is I haven't been home for the past two days. If he's referring to the "light" that I left on before I go to work ages ago, then I'm sorry, it's my bad. Heck, I've switched off the running fan for a couple of time when I wake up in the morning and saw that there's no one there but I didn't say anything. I didn't SMS him asking him to remember to switch off the fan next time before he sleeps. I thought that's what housemates are supposed to do? If one of us forgets something the rest helps out, right?
As for the hair on the floor: well, sorry if I'm the only one in the house who happens to sweep the living room floor and kitchen and mop it every other night and so happens that I don't sweep under the sofa and out the balcony. I will clean it up when I get back tonight and make sure I'll remember to clean those places the next time I choose to clean the house up.
But that's not all. Less than a minute later, another SMS came in: And please throw away the trash when necessarily. We live under the same roof and walk from same door.
My thoughts: Noted. Yes, I admit that I seldom take out the trash, so I will take the trash out every night before I sleep; Mop and sweep the floor every other night and remember to sweep and mop under the sofa and balcony; while I'm at it, why don't I help you clean up the dirty dishes and cooking pans that you "courteously" left lying in the sink since three weeks ago and haven't clean it up?
Sigh… I thought that living together with housemates we are supposed to compromise on certain things. Yes, I do admit that sometimes all of us might have our differences and all. But what you don't see doesn't mean that I never do. Yes, I seldom take the trash out, but seeing hair near the sofa doesn't necessary mean that I never have the "courtesy" to clean up the house. So the floor miraculously become sparkling clean when he comes home? Or perhaps he doesn't notice that at all when he comes home?
This housemate of mine works during the night and I work during the day. When I wake up to go to work around 8.30am, he's still asleep. But the sky, I believe, should already be bright enough for me to see my way and I don't need to switch on the lights. Okay, so let's say hypothetically that it's a rainy day and I forget to switch off the lights, and if you see it and help me switch it off once or twice, it's still ok, right?
What I don't get is: I’ve been away. Not just away, I'm miles away from JB and it's been for TWO days. (I'm in KL at the moment.) So how is it possible for him to SMS me now about not switching off the lights when I'm not in JB at all. If it's from ages ago, why didn't he tell me when he had the chance? Why wait until today, right? Could it be that he accidentally switched it on while I'm away and forgot that he did it?
Ask my ex-housemates in KL and they can tell you that I'm the one who would always make sure that all the lights are switched off and all plugs are being plugged off when I leave for holidays. We are all humans and we all do make mistakes from time to time. Let's say that if I have had overlooked the lights before I left for my holidays two days ago, then it's my fault and I’m really sorry.
The whole reason why I wrote this entry is because I feel like I did no wrong, but yet I received two SMS saying otherwise. My instinct tells me that if I reply to him and say that it’s not me, he would flipped and would thought that I'm denying the errors I've did. So I chose not to reply the SMS and chose to explain it to him when I eventually see him in person.
Am I doing the right thing? I dunno.
Another Jessism © 22122005
His first SMS was: Hi Jess. Please make sure to switch off light before u go to work. I found so many of long hair at the sofa area and balcony. Have a COURTESY to clean it up.
My thoughts: I am on Christmas holiday. What he doesn't know is I haven't been home for the past two days. If he's referring to the "light" that I left on before I go to work ages ago, then I'm sorry, it's my bad. Heck, I've switched off the running fan for a couple of time when I wake up in the morning and saw that there's no one there but I didn't say anything. I didn't SMS him asking him to remember to switch off the fan next time before he sleeps. I thought that's what housemates are supposed to do? If one of us forgets something the rest helps out, right?
As for the hair on the floor: well, sorry if I'm the only one in the house who happens to sweep the living room floor and kitchen and mop it every other night and so happens that I don't sweep under the sofa and out the balcony. I will clean it up when I get back tonight and make sure I'll remember to clean those places the next time I choose to clean the house up.
But that's not all. Less than a minute later, another SMS came in: And please throw away the trash when necessarily. We live under the same roof and walk from same door.
My thoughts: Noted. Yes, I admit that I seldom take out the trash, so I will take the trash out every night before I sleep; Mop and sweep the floor every other night and remember to sweep and mop under the sofa and balcony; while I'm at it, why don't I help you clean up the dirty dishes and cooking pans that you "courteously" left lying in the sink since three weeks ago and haven't clean it up?
Sigh… I thought that living together with housemates we are supposed to compromise on certain things. Yes, I do admit that sometimes all of us might have our differences and all. But what you don't see doesn't mean that I never do. Yes, I seldom take the trash out, but seeing hair near the sofa doesn't necessary mean that I never have the "courtesy" to clean up the house. So the floor miraculously become sparkling clean when he comes home? Or perhaps he doesn't notice that at all when he comes home?
This housemate of mine works during the night and I work during the day. When I wake up to go to work around 8.30am, he's still asleep. But the sky, I believe, should already be bright enough for me to see my way and I don't need to switch on the lights. Okay, so let's say hypothetically that it's a rainy day and I forget to switch off the lights, and if you see it and help me switch it off once or twice, it's still ok, right?
What I don't get is: I’ve been away. Not just away, I'm miles away from JB and it's been for TWO days. (I'm in KL at the moment.) So how is it possible for him to SMS me now about not switching off the lights when I'm not in JB at all. If it's from ages ago, why didn't he tell me when he had the chance? Why wait until today, right? Could it be that he accidentally switched it on while I'm away and forgot that he did it?
Ask my ex-housemates in KL and they can tell you that I'm the one who would always make sure that all the lights are switched off and all plugs are being plugged off when I leave for holidays. We are all humans and we all do make mistakes from time to time. Let's say that if I have had overlooked the lights before I left for my holidays two days ago, then it's my fault and I’m really sorry.
The whole reason why I wrote this entry is because I feel like I did no wrong, but yet I received two SMS saying otherwise. My instinct tells me that if I reply to him and say that it’s not me, he would flipped and would thought that I'm denying the errors I've did. So I chose not to reply the SMS and chose to explain it to him when I eventually see him in person.
Am I doing the right thing? I dunno.
Another Jessism © 22122005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Latino
I love Spanish. I love the language, I love the food, I love the songs… Of course, nothing beats a hot Latino whispering all sort of romantic gibberish to you in Spanish. Even if you don't understand it, it's still a turn on.
You see, my theory is that if you speak Spanish, you'll automatically get 10 points on the score chart. You've got blue eyes, another 10 points. Of course, if you don't have any of the two but you look like you just pop out of a Bel Ami poster, I'll still give you that full 100. Okay, so I'm shallow. Deal with it! Besides, who isn't shallow these days?!
Anyway, let's not get sidetracked: Latino.
Lately, I've been talking to this person who happens to hablar español. Not only that, this bugger no habla Ingles. Thank goodness entiendo un poco. Now, maybe it's the language, maybe it's the culture, maybe it's the way they talk, or maybe they're just born to be gorgeous looking people with a talent to make you fall head over heels for them? Heck, maybe it's just me. But I'm telling you, this person really never fails to make my heart melts every time I read the replies.
To be honest, no entiendo what the bugger is saying most of the time – and the replies are mostly 3 to 4 A4 pages long! – but thanks to the help of online dictionaries, I managed to figure out parts of what I don't get… which is almost everything.
I don't know how this person does it, but get this: almost everything that is on the 2 (or 3) pages of A4 pages are somethingyuk ma sweet like "debes saber que ahí estoy contigo, para las buenas y para las malas también", or "quiero ser un apoyo para ti en todo momento que sea necesario"… with phrases like that, in every line, every paragraph and every page, how can you not wonder how the hell they managed to think of all that? Actually by the time your brain actually came up with that question, you've already fall so deeply for them, and it's too late to care about how they could be able to think about all that. Even if those were ripped out of a Spanish version of Shakespeare's play, I wouldn't even give a damn. I want more!
(For those of you who doesn't understand what the heck those Spanish words meant, feel free to cut and paste them into any online dictionary.)
A Jessism © 16122005
You see, my theory is that if you speak Spanish, you'll automatically get 10 points on the score chart. You've got blue eyes, another 10 points. Of course, if you don't have any of the two but you look like you just pop out of a Bel Ami poster, I'll still give you that full 100. Okay, so I'm shallow. Deal with it! Besides, who isn't shallow these days?!
Anyway, let's not get sidetracked: Latino.
Lately, I've been talking to this person who happens to hablar español. Not only that, this bugger no habla Ingles. Thank goodness entiendo un poco. Now, maybe it's the language, maybe it's the culture, maybe it's the way they talk, or maybe they're just born to be gorgeous looking people with a talent to make you fall head over heels for them? Heck, maybe it's just me. But I'm telling you, this person really never fails to make my heart melts every time I read the replies.
To be honest, no entiendo what the bugger is saying most of the time – and the replies are mostly 3 to 4 A4 pages long! – but thanks to the help of online dictionaries, I managed to figure out parts of what I don't get… which is almost everything.
I don't know how this person does it, but get this: almost everything that is on the 2 (or 3) pages of A4 pages are something
(For those of you who doesn't understand what the heck those Spanish words meant, feel free to cut and paste them into any online dictionary.)
A Jessism © 16122005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Commercial Vs. Reality
This posting is inspired by an ad I saw while watching Channel 5 during the weekend.
The ad was for a detergent. Set at a crowded shopping complex, a lady who's walking with a kid, got pulled over by detergent sales girl. Showing no interest at what she's selling, she tried to walk away. Like all detergent commercials, before she could walk away, the sales girl poured soy sauce on her. Unlike normal commercial, this lady looked pissed and was hissing at her: "Are you crazy?" (Great acting I'm telling you, it looks like she was about to slap that sales girl!) Then the sales girl proceeds to take off this lady's shirt, which the shirt conveniently slips off the lady's body and miraculously had another layer of t-shirt inside. the sales girl then added ketchup and etc. onto the shirt before cleaning it up for her – showing her how "powerful" the detergent is.
Instead of making me feel like dashing out of my front door to grab a bottle of the detergent, the ad really got me thinking: Which auntie in the right mind would be wearing two layers of clothes and go shopping with her kid? Then proceed to let a sales girl pour soy sauce on her and still not rip the sales girl into pieces?
If a sales girl really did pour something on any auntie's shirt in a shopping complex and wanted to show them how her detergent work, there's a high chance that: A) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, or B) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, then proceed to make a big scene at the shopping complex, and demand the sales girl to apologize before asking for the manager to let her take her groceries home for free, or she'll sue the shopping complex.
Then there's another ad on floor cleaner, which was also on Channel 5. (Damn… it seems like I'm really hooked on Channel 5 lately…)
This blindfolded husband crawls on the floor trying to catch his baby, while the wife is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. Then Husband suddenly turns up to the wife and ask: "Did you clean the floor today?" (Only this question alone is enough for 40% of married couples to file for divorce.)
Here comes the best part: The wife actually replied, "No."!!
My gut instinct tells me that she's a lazy bitch who just sits around reading magazines while her husband crawls on the dirty, stinking floor. But the ad proceeds to saying that by using their floor cleaner their floor would look squeaky clean and smells clean for a long time. Erm... right… So my guess is that this ad is targeted at lazy housewives around the world? They should just bloody go ahead and say: "If you're lazy to clean your floor, buy our floor cleaner!"
Let's face it. In reality any husband no sane husband would actually ask their wife: "did you clean the floor today?" It's like saying: "the floor stinks, you lazy bitch!", which will usually lead to a major argument with the possibility of a divorce attached. Heck, even if the husband is stupid enough to ask that question, and any sane wife wouldn’t be answering "no". Let’s just say that even if the wife is hypothetically insane enough to say "no", my guess is that they would already be screaming and throwing things at each other!
My favourite is the diaper ad: "The easy diaper for busy mothers". Yeah right... Why sugarcoat it when they can just fucking say: "The easy diaper for LAZY mothers"? It still rhymes!
Whatever happened to all those honest and great ads that actually make sense? Don't they make them anymore?
The ad was for a detergent. Set at a crowded shopping complex, a lady who's walking with a kid, got pulled over by detergent sales girl. Showing no interest at what she's selling, she tried to walk away. Like all detergent commercials, before she could walk away, the sales girl poured soy sauce on her. Unlike normal commercial, this lady looked pissed and was hissing at her: "Are you crazy?" (Great acting I'm telling you, it looks like she was about to slap that sales girl!) Then the sales girl proceeds to take off this lady's shirt, which the shirt conveniently slips off the lady's body and miraculously had another layer of t-shirt inside. the sales girl then added ketchup and etc. onto the shirt before cleaning it up for her – showing her how "powerful" the detergent is.
Instead of making me feel like dashing out of my front door to grab a bottle of the detergent, the ad really got me thinking: Which auntie in the right mind would be wearing two layers of clothes and go shopping with her kid? Then proceed to let a sales girl pour soy sauce on her and still not rip the sales girl into pieces?
If a sales girl really did pour something on any auntie's shirt in a shopping complex and wanted to show them how her detergent work, there's a high chance that: A) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, or B) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, then proceed to make a big scene at the shopping complex, and demand the sales girl to apologize before asking for the manager to let her take her groceries home for free, or she'll sue the shopping complex.
Then there's another ad on floor cleaner, which was also on Channel 5. (Damn… it seems like I'm really hooked on Channel 5 lately…)
This blindfolded husband crawls on the floor trying to catch his baby, while the wife is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. Then Husband suddenly turns up to the wife and ask: "Did you clean the floor today?" (Only this question alone is enough for 40% of married couples to file for divorce.)
Here comes the best part: The wife actually replied, "No."!!
My gut instinct tells me that she's a lazy bitch who just sits around reading magazines while her husband crawls on the dirty, stinking floor. But the ad proceeds to saying that by using their floor cleaner their floor would look squeaky clean and smells clean for a long time. Erm... right… So my guess is that this ad is targeted at lazy housewives around the world? They should just bloody go ahead and say: "If you're lazy to clean your floor, buy our floor cleaner!"
Let's face it. In reality any husband no sane husband would actually ask their wife: "did you clean the floor today?" It's like saying: "the floor stinks, you lazy bitch!", which will usually lead to a major argument with the possibility of a divorce attached. Heck, even if the husband is stupid enough to ask that question, and any sane wife wouldn’t be answering "no". Let’s just say that even if the wife is hypothetically insane enough to say "no", my guess is that they would already be screaming and throwing things at each other!
My favourite is the diaper ad: "The easy diaper for busy mothers". Yeah right... Why sugarcoat it when they can just fucking say: "The easy diaper for LAZY mothers"? It still rhymes!
Whatever happened to all those honest and great ads that actually make sense? Don't they make them anymore?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Another Brainless Shit!
"Human Lives = Old TV"
Believe it or not, that's the new equation in town, courtesy of an idiotic "grandfather" in the Department of Civil Aviation.
A few weeks back we have an arse who insulted tourists and foreigners. When he’s asked to apologies, he sounded very insincere, and said something like: "if you think I'm wrong then I'm sorry. BUT I don’t think I said anything wrong, yada, yada, yada…"
Today, making the front page of The Sun, we have another idiot who is comparing air planes safety to TV. An excerpt from the newspaper article is as follows:
PETALING JAYA: Department of Civil Aviation (DCA) director-general Datuk Kok Soo Chon, while admitting that the air traffic control systems are outdated, stressed that they are safe.
"I agree that the system has a lifespan but just because (for example) your TV is guaranteed for 10,000 hours, that does not mean you have to change it at 10,001," he said in response to complaints from air traffic controllers of old and faulty equipment.
(Yada, yada, yada, bla, bla, bla….)
He said most air crashes were due to pilot error or the air-worthiness of the carriers.
On the near-miss between the Malaysian and Indian planes, Kok said the picture painted by the union was exaggerated. (Is it because nobody died, so it's considered as "exaggerated"?)
"I admit there have been incidents of planes breaching the 10 nautical mile rule, but that does not mean any danger," he said, adding that in London's Heathrow Airport there is at least one such incident a day.
Kok said where the breach is caused by the controller, he will be sent for retraining immediately. (Yada, yada, yada, bla, bla, bla….)
Maybe it's about time an IQ test is imposed to filter out all these idiots . How brainless can you get?! You're comparing something that carries hundreds of lives on board to a TV in your living room?!! Do you even realize what you said?! Does this mean that human lives to you is like a TV set in your living room?
Yes, we don't change our TV after 10,001 hours because if our TV blows, we can always buy a new one. And the most important of all: NOBODY DIES! If you, pen****, don't discard your old system, hundreds of people might die! And who’s going be held responsible? Wait, don’t answer, I know, I think you've mentioned it somewhere just now…
Oh yes, YOU… are blaming it on the air traffic controller, the pilots and what not. How irresponsible can you get, you **** de la ****!! We're talking about human lives here you dumb fuck!
TV can be replaced, human lives can't!
An original Jessism © 07122005
Monday, December 05, 2005
What Is "Love"?
What is this thing call "love"? It has no shape, no smell, no taste; you can't see it, touch it, taste it, so what the hell is it?! Did someone just wake up one day and suddenly decided: "Hey, you know what?! I don't know what I'm feeling, but I think I’m gonna call it 'love'"?
While we're at it, who invented the word "love" anyway?
Everybody keep saying it every day: "I love you", "I love you too", "I love this", "I love that"… but what is "love"?! If you like something so much, why don't you just say "I like this very much"? "I like you" sounds like a nice phrase, so why are we substituting that word with another friggin' "L" word?!
Everybody keeps saying "I love you" to their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/ husband. Let me ask you something: What makes you "love" that person so much that you can't live without him or her?
Oh c'mon! Don’t give me that bullshit about his/her personality, how he/she treats you, how he/she cared for you, how good he/she is in bed, or how gorgeous he/she looks! Does this mean that when the gorgeousness fades away, when he/she is unable to satisfy you enough in bed, you won't "love" him/her anymore?!
What happens if you wake up one day to find that your boyfriend/girlfriend has turned into a girl/guy? Why you still love the person the way you did? Or just because you two share the same gender and you suddenly decided that you won’t "love" the person anymore? It’s still the same person you’ve been "loving" all this while. Didn't you just said earlier that you would "love" this person no matter what? Well HELLO!! This IS the "no matter what" part. So what’s going to happen now?
Okay, maybe that would be a little far-fetched. But how about this: People always say "in sickness and in health". What happens if your "other half" told you he/she has got HIV/AIDS? What then?
Give it a thought.
In conjunction with the World AIDS Day, I would like to urge all of you out there to make a difference. People who are living with HIV/AIDS are not any difference than us. They still deserve the same loving, care, and treatment any one of us deserves. The HIV/AIDS virus knows no race, age, or gender. It can infect anyone, anytime.
Help those who are in need, and you can make a difference!
An original Jessism © 01122005
While we're at it, who invented the word "love" anyway?
Everybody keep saying it every day: "I love you", "I love you too", "I love this", "I love that"… but what is "love"?! If you like something so much, why don't you just say "I like this very much"? "I like you" sounds like a nice phrase, so why are we substituting that word with another friggin' "L" word?!
Everybody keeps saying "I love you" to their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/ husband. Let me ask you something: What makes you "love" that person so much that you can't live without him or her?
Oh c'mon! Don’t give me that bullshit about his/her personality, how he/she treats you, how he/she cared for you, how good he/she is in bed, or how gorgeous he/she looks! Does this mean that when the gorgeousness fades away, when he/she is unable to satisfy you enough in bed, you won't "love" him/her anymore?!
What happens if you wake up one day to find that your boyfriend/girlfriend has turned into a girl/guy? Why you still love the person the way you did? Or just because you two share the same gender and you suddenly decided that you won’t "love" the person anymore? It’s still the same person you’ve been "loving" all this while. Didn't you just said earlier that you would "love" this person no matter what? Well HELLO!! This IS the "no matter what" part. So what’s going to happen now?
Okay, maybe that would be a little far-fetched. But how about this: People always say "in sickness and in health". What happens if your "other half" told you he/she has got HIV/AIDS? What then?
Give it a thought.
In conjunction with the World AIDS Day, I would like to urge all of you out there to make a difference. People who are living with HIV/AIDS are not any difference than us. They still deserve the same loving, care, and treatment any one of us deserves. The HIV/AIDS virus knows no race, age, or gender. It can infect anyone, anytime.
HIV/AIDS DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE; WHY SHOULD YOU?
Help those who are in need, and you can make a difference!
An original Jessism © 01122005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Pirated Vs. Original
Saw a news article on The Sun yesterday. The article with the heading "People Must Reject Pirated CDs", states that the government would want us (the public) to help in decreasing the demand for illegal products. And to be honest, I would love to help support original… IF they could give me enough good reasons why I should.
Let's weight it out:
1. One original CD cost around RM45 to RM50. Album from Japanese or Korean artiste can cost up to RM60! Whereas pirated CDs are only RM6 to RM10. If you're a smart consumer, which one would you choose? Besides, music listeners these days are the younger generations, which have lesser income. For them to afford one original CD means they will have to sacrifice (more than) a whole week of their allowance!
2. Another fact that ticks me off about original CDs is that they always have a second version of the same thing released not long after. Take Mariah Carey's "Emancipation of Mimi" for example. The first release was a normal 12-track album, then came a Deluxe Edition not long after, which includes a couple of music videos. And now there's an Ultra Platinum Edition! Same album!! Different versions! If you support original, have you any idea how much you're gonna be spending?!
3. Original VCDs are mostly movies that are expensive, censored and badly subtitled. Pirated VCDs are cheaper, uncensored, and you have an option to choose between subtitled, and non-subtitled. (Talk about choices!)
4. Original DVDs are even more expensive than anything else, still badly censored, and comes with an option of laughable subtitling. Though Pirated DVDs subtitles are also laughable some times, it has been improving drastically. The price is still way cheaper compared to original, and the best part is: it's still uncensored!
Don't give me bullshit excuses about pirated movies being unclear and the irrelevant theory about pirated CDs able to spoil your player. Those excuses are just plain absurd! You might as well just come out and say that pirated CDs can make your players explode! For al I know, most of the pirated DVDs out there have better quality pictures than what GSC is showing us, and minus the annoying ringing of cell phones during the movie.
I can still remember, a few months back, doing my duty of being a supportive fan, I bought an original CD while I was in KL. And guess what? The CD was defective! To make things worse, when I went back to the shop to exchange, 9 out of 10 of the CDs the shop have are also defective. The last CD they gave me, the last track can't even be played! And I paid RM40+ for it!! I can assure you that this will NOT happen if I'm buying a pirated CD! Even if it did happen, and IF they are unable to find a non-defective CD, I will get my money back! How many original record stores can guarantee us (the consumer) that?!
The day that I would buy original is the day that they STOP censoring movies and START giving us good services. Every time I walk into a record store, the sales people stares at me like I'm going to steal their stuff! Whereas when you walk into a pirated CD shop, all they give you is great service! As a consumer, which one would you want to walk into: One that gives you bad service and charge you truckloads of money for it? Or one that gives you good costumer service and sells cheaper goods, and also comes with a loyalty-costumer discounts?
Don't tell me pirates would spoil our music industry. Only quality movies and albums will be pirated. If our ALL our local artiste are as reputable as like KRU, and Jaclyn Victor, then yes, you will see their pirated albums out in the market. If you don't see it, it doesn't mean that you're good in keeping those pirates off your album. It means that your artist is NOT WORTH pirating!
Same goes for movies. Only good reputable movies will be pirated. And the last time I check, there are NO Malay movies being pirated into DVDs. Why? Because they're not even worth pirating, that's why. The only widely sold pirated Malaysian movie that is available in the market is Yasmin Ahmad’s "Sepet"! Why? Because it's good quality shit! Our own Malaysian pride and joy, that even our own Malaysian government censor, but it's now available on pirated DVD!!
Question Time: Between a censored version and an uncensored version of "Sepet", which would you support?
My take on this whole pirate versus original issue is that: If our government wants us to support original, they themselves will have to start by showing us a good example of keeping all the movies and music original. Stop chopping them up! If you want to chop them up, you might as well not show it! It's like "The Schindler's List". Either you show it in full, or not show it at all! And don’t give us that B.S. about what you think is good or bad for us. I think we Malaysians are smart enough to think for ourselves.
It's not that the public don't want to help; it's just human nature to want what they think is best. And all avid movie or music fans would know that The Best is something cheap and uncensored. Until the day the government can offer us that, the war against the pirates will not end.
Let's weight it out:
1. One original CD cost around RM45 to RM50. Album from Japanese or Korean artiste can cost up to RM60! Whereas pirated CDs are only RM6 to RM10. If you're a smart consumer, which one would you choose? Besides, music listeners these days are the younger generations, which have lesser income. For them to afford one original CD means they will have to sacrifice (more than) a whole week of their allowance!
2. Another fact that ticks me off about original CDs is that they always have a second version of the same thing released not long after. Take Mariah Carey's "Emancipation of Mimi" for example. The first release was a normal 12-track album, then came a Deluxe Edition not long after, which includes a couple of music videos. And now there's an Ultra Platinum Edition! Same album!! Different versions! If you support original, have you any idea how much you're gonna be spending?!
3. Original VCDs are mostly movies that are expensive, censored and badly subtitled. Pirated VCDs are cheaper, uncensored, and you have an option to choose between subtitled, and non-subtitled. (Talk about choices!)
4. Original DVDs are even more expensive than anything else, still badly censored, and comes with an option of laughable subtitling. Though Pirated DVDs subtitles are also laughable some times, it has been improving drastically. The price is still way cheaper compared to original, and the best part is: it's still uncensored!
Don't give me bullshit excuses about pirated movies being unclear and the irrelevant theory about pirated CDs able to spoil your player. Those excuses are just plain absurd! You might as well just come out and say that pirated CDs can make your players explode! For al I know, most of the pirated DVDs out there have better quality pictures than what GSC is showing us, and minus the annoying ringing of cell phones during the movie.
I can still remember, a few months back, doing my duty of being a supportive fan, I bought an original CD while I was in KL. And guess what? The CD was defective! To make things worse, when I went back to the shop to exchange, 9 out of 10 of the CDs the shop have are also defective. The last CD they gave me, the last track can't even be played! And I paid RM40+ for it!! I can assure you that this will NOT happen if I'm buying a pirated CD! Even if it did happen, and IF they are unable to find a non-defective CD, I will get my money back! How many original record stores can guarantee us (the consumer) that?!
The day that I would buy original is the day that they STOP censoring movies and START giving us good services. Every time I walk into a record store, the sales people stares at me like I'm going to steal their stuff! Whereas when you walk into a pirated CD shop, all they give you is great service! As a consumer, which one would you want to walk into: One that gives you bad service and charge you truckloads of money for it? Or one that gives you good costumer service and sells cheaper goods, and also comes with a loyalty-costumer discounts?
Don't tell me pirates would spoil our music industry. Only quality movies and albums will be pirated. If our ALL our local artiste are as reputable as like KRU, and Jaclyn Victor, then yes, you will see their pirated albums out in the market. If you don't see it, it doesn't mean that you're good in keeping those pirates off your album. It means that your artist is NOT WORTH pirating!
Same goes for movies. Only good reputable movies will be pirated. And the last time I check, there are NO Malay movies being pirated into DVDs. Why? Because they're not even worth pirating, that's why. The only widely sold pirated Malaysian movie that is available in the market is Yasmin Ahmad’s "Sepet"! Why? Because it's good quality shit! Our own Malaysian pride and joy, that even our own Malaysian government censor, but it's now available on pirated DVD!!
Question Time: Between a censored version and an uncensored version of "Sepet", which would you support?
My take on this whole pirate versus original issue is that: If our government wants us to support original, they themselves will have to start by showing us a good example of keeping all the movies and music original. Stop chopping them up! If you want to chop them up, you might as well not show it! It's like "The Schindler's List". Either you show it in full, or not show it at all! And don’t give us that B.S. about what you think is good or bad for us. I think we Malaysians are smart enough to think for ourselves.
It's not that the public don't want to help; it's just human nature to want what they think is best. And all avid movie or music fans would know that The Best is something cheap and uncensored. Until the day the government can offer us that, the war against the pirates will not end.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
What I Want On TV
I was watching “Survivor” on Channel 5 last Friday, and during the commercial, an ad for “Fear Factor: Thanksgiving Special” came up. Seeing snippets of them eating all those disgusting stuff really makes me think: is it really worth it, going through all those torturing to “win” the money? I say, you friggin’ deserve the money the minute you dip your hands into an aquarium filled with tarantula!
However, no matter how they flip and turn and fill the show with twists, it’s always the same: In “Survivor” people get cast away on some supposedly deserted place, and they all try to kick one another out of the game; In “Fear Factor”, the contestants do something gruesome. The loser gets humiliated, and the winner gets to eat more worms, or century eggs. It all seems so cliché these days.
What I would really want to see is all the big names from reality television on “Survivor”. They can call it “Survivor: Reality Show Special”. Gather all of the big names from reality shows like Jeff Probst (“Survivor”), Simon Cowell, (“American Idol”), Phil Keoghan (“Amazing Race”), Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”), Joe Rogan (“Fear Factor”), David Letterman (“The Late Show”), Roslan (“Malaysian Idol”), Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”), Martha Stewart (“The Apprentice: Martha Stewart”), Janice Dickinson (“America’s Next Top Model”), Carmen Elektra (“Manhunt”) and of course: Mark Brunett (the creator of “Survivor”).
I can just see the tagline: “12 reality show celebs, marooned on an island, will they survive?” (I highly doubt it.) The show can be hosted by that bitch from “Survivor: Outback”, Jerri.
Then, right after that season ended, we can have an episode of “Fear Factor: Reality Show Host Special” where Joe Rogan (“Fear Factor”), Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”), Simon Cowell, (“American Idol”), Roslan (“Malaysian Idol”), Jeff Probst (“Survivor”), David Letterman (“The Late Show”), Phil Keoghan (“Amazing Race”), and Mark Brunett. The show can be hosted by any winner from the “Fear factor” series. Now it’s his, or her, turn to make those reality show hosts suffer.
Now that’s what I call quality TV!
However, no matter how they flip and turn and fill the show with twists, it’s always the same: In “Survivor” people get cast away on some supposedly deserted place, and they all try to kick one another out of the game; In “Fear Factor”, the contestants do something gruesome. The loser gets humiliated, and the winner gets to eat more worms, or century eggs. It all seems so cliché these days.
What I would really want to see is all the big names from reality television on “Survivor”. They can call it “Survivor: Reality Show Special”. Gather all of the big names from reality shows like Jeff Probst (“Survivor”), Simon Cowell, (“American Idol”), Phil Keoghan (“Amazing Race”), Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”), Joe Rogan (“Fear Factor”), David Letterman (“The Late Show”), Roslan (“Malaysian Idol”), Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”), Martha Stewart (“The Apprentice: Martha Stewart”), Janice Dickinson (“America’s Next Top Model”), Carmen Elektra (“Manhunt”) and of course: Mark Brunett (the creator of “Survivor”).
I can just see the tagline: “12 reality show celebs, marooned on an island, will they survive?” (I highly doubt it.) The show can be hosted by that bitch from “Survivor: Outback”, Jerri.
Then, right after that season ended, we can have an episode of “Fear Factor: Reality Show Host Special” where Joe Rogan (“Fear Factor”), Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”), Simon Cowell, (“American Idol”), Roslan (“Malaysian Idol”), Jeff Probst (“Survivor”), David Letterman (“The Late Show”), Phil Keoghan (“Amazing Race”), and Mark Brunett. The show can be hosted by any winner from the “Fear factor” series. Now it’s his, or her, turn to make those reality show hosts suffer.
Now that’s what I call quality TV!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Que Chinga?!
I was trying to apply for leave this December to go back Kedah, so that I can spend the upcoming Winter Festival with my grandparents. As I was filling up the form, I notice one column that says:
I can understand the “State Reason” part, but “Produce Proof”?? What the fuck?!
Here’s my question: How the fuck am I going to produce you proof that I really am going back to visit my grandmother? Take a picture with her and send it back to you?! So what happens if my reason is “To spend a weekend with my boyfriend”? Give you our used condoms? This is totally absurd and makes no sense.
Whoever that came up with this form is really a mindless fuck!!
State Reason: (please produce proof)__________
I can understand the “State Reason” part, but “Produce Proof”?? What the fuck?!
Here’s my question: How the fuck am I going to produce you proof that I really am going back to visit my grandmother? Take a picture with her and send it back to you?! So what happens if my reason is “To spend a weekend with my boyfriend”? Give you our used condoms? This is totally absurd and makes no sense.
Whoever that came up with this form is really a mindless fuck!!
Friday, November 18, 2005
"Motivational Speech" My Ass!
Let me start by saying that I hate churches because of all the preaching. No offense to all those who are Christians… it’s just that I don’t like people to tell me that “their” God is better than others. I respect all religions, but just don’t come tell me why I should follow yours.
Same goes for direct selling. Yes, you’re a successful Platinum, or god-knows-what rank, distributor. Just don’t come preaching to me how you’re actually “sharing” the “good stuff” with me. If you’re really just “sharing”, then why are you charging me for that freaking expensive product anyway? Sharing = no money involve, you dumb ass!
Working for a direct selling company, I knew the day would come where I have to listen to all those show-offs brag about their achievements, which is still ok; I mean, since I work for this company, they won’t ask me to sell their product anymore, and I can stay away from those brainwash-like seminars. Well, I was wrong to think that.
We were called for a meeting earlier today, and a speaker was to give us a “motivational” speech. It turns out that the dude was actually here to preach about the company. In other words, a semi-brainwashing session.
They lost me after we were told us that someone is going to give us a “speech”, so I wasn’t really paying attention to who the heck that was. Then this dude said something that caught my attention: “we shouldn’t ask what the company can do for us, and give us. This is not about the salary; it’s about what YOU can do to make the company grow.” Yeah right… try NOT paying all of us, and see if you will still see us here listening to you. Or since you’re “sharing”, why don’t you just give your products out for free?!
Okay, that did kinda tick me off a little. But it was nothing big. I guess all stingy Chinese bosses made that statement every now and then. So I lost interest again.
Then just when I thought I was about to dose off, he made a statement that completely pisses me off: “Useless people (like that) don’t deserve to live!” Okay, I wasn’t really paying attention to who he was referring to, but that still doesn’t gives him the right to say who “deserves” to live, or not! In fact, no one has the right to even say that!
I decided that I’m pissed at this person no matter who he was. Yes, I found out his identity after the 3 and half hour of his not-so-motivational crap-talk. And I was shocked to the core that someone like him is saying things like this to his subordinates! And this was supposed to be a “motivational” talk?!
You know what’s the freakiest part? I’m actually motivated after hearing all that crap! I’m actually suddenly motivated to change job before I get brainwashed into thinking that “useless people don’t deserves to live”!
Same goes for direct selling. Yes, you’re a successful Platinum, or god-knows-what rank, distributor. Just don’t come preaching to me how you’re actually “sharing” the “good stuff” with me. If you’re really just “sharing”, then why are you charging me for that freaking expensive product anyway? Sharing = no money involve, you dumb ass!
Working for a direct selling company, I knew the day would come where I have to listen to all those show-offs brag about their achievements, which is still ok; I mean, since I work for this company, they won’t ask me to sell their product anymore, and I can stay away from those brainwash-like seminars. Well, I was wrong to think that.
We were called for a meeting earlier today, and a speaker was to give us a “motivational” speech. It turns out that the dude was actually here to preach about the company. In other words, a semi-brainwashing session.
They lost me after we were told us that someone is going to give us a “speech”, so I wasn’t really paying attention to who the heck that was. Then this dude said something that caught my attention: “we shouldn’t ask what the company can do for us, and give us. This is not about the salary; it’s about what YOU can do to make the company grow.” Yeah right… try NOT paying all of us, and see if you will still see us here listening to you. Or since you’re “sharing”, why don’t you just give your products out for free?!
Okay, that did kinda tick me off a little. But it was nothing big. I guess all stingy Chinese bosses made that statement every now and then. So I lost interest again.
Then just when I thought I was about to dose off, he made a statement that completely pisses me off: “Useless people (like that) don’t deserve to live!” Okay, I wasn’t really paying attention to who he was referring to, but that still doesn’t gives him the right to say who “deserves” to live, or not! In fact, no one has the right to even say that!
I decided that I’m pissed at this person no matter who he was. Yes, I found out his identity after the 3 and half hour of his not-so-motivational crap-talk. And I was shocked to the core that someone like him is saying things like this to his subordinates! And this was supposed to be a “motivational” talk?!
You know what’s the freakiest part? I’m actually motivated after hearing all that crap! I’m actually suddenly motivated to change job before I get brainwashed into thinking that “useless people don’t deserves to live”!
Friday, November 11, 2005
Dear Diary...
It’s been a crazy week.
Still trying to recover from the holiday boredom, this week started out perfectly insane like all after-holiday working day: a lot of emails to reply, a lot of pending work waiting to be finished, a lot of bad writing to be proofread... it was hell.
Things sort of went back to “normal” after Wednesday: I managed to finish all my work for the week, found my ex-housemates in SS2 a new housemate, did some extra editing for some friends, killed a couple of my freelance writers… Yeah, I was really looking forward for the weekend where I can sleep in late and waste the whole two days away doing nothing.
Then on Thursday night, Luke (my housemate) told me that he was going to be admitted to the hospital on Friday morning. It turns out that there’s a lump in testicles, and the doctor advise him to remove it immediately. “It” as in the lump, not his testicles. (Yes guys, laugh all you want… it wouldn’t sound so funny if it happens you.) He was told by the doctor that it’s just going to be a minor surgery involving some laser technology and it’ll be over in about half an hour and he can go home by evening.
So his boyfriend drove him to the specialist center early in the morning, and stayed with him till he was wheeled into the OR. Boyfriend then went for a quick breakfast and returned to the OR after. He waited outside for 45 minutes and still no sight of Luke. Thinking that he must have missed Luke while he was away for breakfast, Boyfriend went back to Luke’s room to check. Not there. Boyfriend then checked with the nurse. It turns out that Luke is still in the OR!
Luke was only wheeled out of the OR after TWO AND HALF HOURS! And this was supposed minor surgery? It turns out that the only “laser” part of the whole thing was to cut through the skin. Everything after that was nothing laser. And guess what? It was painful, poor Luke was shivering when he regain consciousness. He couldn’t even stand up until late evening and was shivering the whole time, claiming that it was cold in the room when it was hot like an oven and the air condition was off. Then doctor told him that he needs to be warded for observation for at least two days. So much for a “minor surgery”!
There I was telling him not to worry about that “minor surgery”, and he will be out in a jiff, when in reality he was somewhat conned by the doctor into doing the surgery. Is there a law on this where we can sue the doctor for giving false information and tricking his patient into doing a surgery? Sigh… Anyway, the lump was said to be sent to Singapore for further analysis and the results will only be out in a week time.
I guess things always happen to a friend of a friend of friend. But when something like this happen to someone we know it’s really shocking. The worst is to know that you can’t even trust doctors. Yes, he was right that the lump needed to be removed, but to tell you false information about the surgery? Scary…
Still trying to recover from the holiday boredom, this week started out perfectly insane like all after-holiday working day: a lot of emails to reply, a lot of pending work waiting to be finished, a lot of bad writing to be proofread... it was hell.
Things sort of went back to “normal” after Wednesday: I managed to finish all my work for the week, found my ex-housemates in SS2 a new housemate, did some extra editing for some friends, killed a couple of my freelance writers… Yeah, I was really looking forward for the weekend where I can sleep in late and waste the whole two days away doing nothing.
Then on Thursday night, Luke (my housemate) told me that he was going to be admitted to the hospital on Friday morning. It turns out that there’s a lump in testicles, and the doctor advise him to remove it immediately. “It” as in the lump, not his testicles. (Yes guys, laugh all you want… it wouldn’t sound so funny if it happens you.) He was told by the doctor that it’s just going to be a minor surgery involving some laser technology and it’ll be over in about half an hour and he can go home by evening.
So his boyfriend drove him to the specialist center early in the morning, and stayed with him till he was wheeled into the OR. Boyfriend then went for a quick breakfast and returned to the OR after. He waited outside for 45 minutes and still no sight of Luke. Thinking that he must have missed Luke while he was away for breakfast, Boyfriend went back to Luke’s room to check. Not there. Boyfriend then checked with the nurse. It turns out that Luke is still in the OR!
Luke was only wheeled out of the OR after TWO AND HALF HOURS! And this was supposed minor surgery? It turns out that the only “laser” part of the whole thing was to cut through the skin. Everything after that was nothing laser. And guess what? It was painful, poor Luke was shivering when he regain consciousness. He couldn’t even stand up until late evening and was shivering the whole time, claiming that it was cold in the room when it was hot like an oven and the air condition was off. Then doctor told him that he needs to be warded for observation for at least two days. So much for a “minor surgery”!
There I was telling him not to worry about that “minor surgery”, and he will be out in a jiff, when in reality he was somewhat conned by the doctor into doing the surgery. Is there a law on this where we can sue the doctor for giving false information and tricking his patient into doing a surgery? Sigh… Anyway, the lump was said to be sent to Singapore for further analysis and the results will only be out in a week time.
I guess things always happen to a friend of a friend of friend. But when something like this happen to someone we know it’s really shocking. The worst is to know that you can’t even trust doctors. Yes, he was right that the lump needed to be removed, but to tell you false information about the surgery? Scary…
Monday, November 07, 2005
Me vs. Reality Show
Reality TV series are now blooming like mushrooms after the rain. Every channel you flip there one there. From the ever-famous Survivor, to Fear Factor, to Biggest Loser, to Playing It Straight… they’re everywhere!
The way I see it: the most important thing in being a reality show host, on TV, is that you need to know how to count. Take Fear Factor for instance, what this guy did is just stand there, watch the contestants do all the gruesome stunts and go: “now there’s four of you left…” or “two of you left”… There’s no fun in this show after the first episode. I wanna see this host do ALL the stunts and not just standing there!
In The Amazing Race, this guy goes to the pit stop, and waits there for the suckers that’s been running all over the country and goes: “Congratulations, you’re the first (or second…) to arrive.” He doesn’t even have to say the “Welcome” part! There’s even someone else hired to say it!
On America’s Next Top Model, Tyra Banks shows us that models can count too. “There’s six beautiful ladies standing in front of me but there’re only 5 pictures in my hand.” Then she takes a minute to count: so six minus five is… “One of you will be leaving tonight, while the rest of you will be one step closer in becoming America’s next top model.”
In Survivor what this guy does is that he goes to the supposed deserted place with the other castaway. Packed with food, he gave some of his leftovers to the contestants every week in a reward challenge, where the contestants will happily kill each other for it. And the lines he needs to remember throughout the show are: “Survivors ready? Go!”, "Now it's time to vote", and also “The tribe has spoken”.
Then in The Apprentice, we have Donald Trump “hiring” a couple of people to be on the show, which I assume he doesn’t pay them anything to be on the show in the first place. Then he gets them to do things for him for free and help him make money, so that can fire them one by one. And as the week goes by, the task given gets harder and harder. All he needs to do is sit and wait till the end of every week to say “You’re fired” (sucker)! And still get all his jobs done… for free! I say he’s the smartest guy on reality television history!
In my opinion, reality TV series are a waste of time. You watch it, you get all excited and what do you get? Nothing! In the end, it’s the winner of the competition who walks away with the money, not you!
The way I see it: the best and the longest running reality show that’s been around since forever, is porn! It’s on high demand in each and every part of the world, the actors and actresses are all naked, you get to see everything that they do, there are no annoying hosts to show you how well they can count, there are no hard to understand dialogue, and the best part is there are no winners in porn! And you’ll also get to learn a thing, or two, that might come in handy someday!
The way I see it: the most important thing in being a reality show host, on TV, is that you need to know how to count. Take Fear Factor for instance, what this guy did is just stand there, watch the contestants do all the gruesome stunts and go: “now there’s four of you left…” or “two of you left”… There’s no fun in this show after the first episode. I wanna see this host do ALL the stunts and not just standing there!
In The Amazing Race, this guy goes to the pit stop, and waits there for the suckers that’s been running all over the country and goes: “Congratulations, you’re the first (or second…) to arrive.” He doesn’t even have to say the “Welcome” part! There’s even someone else hired to say it!
On America’s Next Top Model, Tyra Banks shows us that models can count too. “There’s six beautiful ladies standing in front of me but there’re only 5 pictures in my hand.” Then she takes a minute to count: so six minus five is… “One of you will be leaving tonight, while the rest of you will be one step closer in becoming America’s next top model.”
In Survivor what this guy does is that he goes to the supposed deserted place with the other castaway. Packed with food, he gave some of his leftovers to the contestants every week in a reward challenge, where the contestants will happily kill each other for it. And the lines he needs to remember throughout the show are: “Survivors ready? Go!”, "Now it's time to vote", and also “The tribe has spoken”.
Then in The Apprentice, we have Donald Trump “hiring” a couple of people to be on the show, which I assume he doesn’t pay them anything to be on the show in the first place. Then he gets them to do things for him for free and help him make money, so that can fire them one by one. And as the week goes by, the task given gets harder and harder. All he needs to do is sit and wait till the end of every week to say “You’re fired” (sucker)! And still get all his jobs done… for free! I say he’s the smartest guy on reality television history!
In my opinion, reality TV series are a waste of time. You watch it, you get all excited and what do you get? Nothing! In the end, it’s the winner of the competition who walks away with the money, not you!
The way I see it: the best and the longest running reality show that’s been around since forever, is porn! It’s on high demand in each and every part of the world, the actors and actresses are all naked, you get to see everything that they do, there are no annoying hosts to show you how well they can count, there are no hard to understand dialogue, and the best part is there are no winners in porn! And you’ll also get to learn a thing, or two, that might come in handy someday!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Me Vs. Festive Season
First it was Halloween, and it’s going to be Thanksgiving this weekend, then Christmas is just a few weeks away. And soon, it’s going to be 2006! Sigh... how time flies.
I’m never a fan of the festive season: crowded buses with sweaty people, children running around everywhere like animal on the loose, ugly people everywhere out to shock the world, taxi drivers hiking up their rates to earn a quick buck, underage girls dressed like underage hookers, all the aunties and uncles catch up on the latest family gossip when family gathers together with everyone pretending that they like one another but is actually cursing deeply in their hearts hoping that the other person will just drop dead… life just can’t get anymore pretentious than this.
But over the past three/four years, I came to like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I’m starting to learn to appreciate Chinese New Year more.
Thanksgiving
Honestly, I really don’t know a lot of people who celebrates Thanksgiving here in Malaysia. Come to think of it, I don’t know nobody who celebrates Thanksgiving in Malaysia… at all. Thanks, in no small part, to my PJ housemates, last year I celebrated we had our Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner. Mushroom soup, stuffed turkey, cranberry sauce, mash potatoes, margarita, Yule log… we really had everything going. Ash said grace, Sid (who looks uncannily like The Grinch) carved the turkey, Jacque had his Christmas outfit on, everybody was pissed drunk at the end of the night… sigh… I really miss that.
Christmas
(I think he probably wouldn’t even remember this by now, but...) I think it was about 3 years ago? I spent Christmas Day with Darrel and his family. The reason why I remember it was the lunch we had that day. It was nothing fancy, just something simple. There wasn’t even any present involved, partly because we’re kinda broke at that point, but I remembered it because of the warm Christmassy feel to it.
Chinese New Year
This is the worse of all festive seasons: Families gather together pretending to like each other; all the nosy relatives will get together and try to dig out dirt from other families so that they can feel good about theirs; as if kids running around like wild animals is not bad enough, the parents equip them with mini-explosives so that they could throw it at unsuspecting cats, dogs, or relative… provided IF the thing don’t explode in their face first.
Anyway… two years ago, I decided to spend CNY Reunion Dinner with my mother’s side of the family, and it was the first time I’ve ever had a proper CNY Reunion Dinner in 25 years! No kids running around, no mini-explosives, no gossipers… It was just a normal sit and dine event, where all us cousins make our grandparents laugh like mad. The table was definitely way too crowded for all of us, and our parents, but it was something to remember.
I’m never a fan of the festive season: crowded buses with sweaty people, children running around everywhere like animal on the loose, ugly people everywhere out to shock the world, taxi drivers hiking up their rates to earn a quick buck, underage girls dressed like underage hookers, all the aunties and uncles catch up on the latest family gossip when family gathers together with everyone pretending that they like one another but is actually cursing deeply in their hearts hoping that the other person will just drop dead… life just can’t get anymore pretentious than this.
But over the past three/four years, I came to like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I’m starting to learn to appreciate Chinese New Year more.
Thanksgiving
Honestly, I really don’t know a lot of people who celebrates Thanksgiving here in Malaysia. Come to think of it, I don’t know nobody who celebrates Thanksgiving in Malaysia… at all. Thanks, in no small part, to my PJ housemates, last year I celebrated we had our Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner. Mushroom soup, stuffed turkey, cranberry sauce, mash potatoes, margarita, Yule log… we really had everything going. Ash said grace, Sid (who looks uncannily like The Grinch) carved the turkey, Jacque had his Christmas outfit on, everybody was pissed drunk at the end of the night… sigh… I really miss that.
Christmas
(I think he probably wouldn’t even remember this by now, but...) I think it was about 3 years ago? I spent Christmas Day with Darrel and his family. The reason why I remember it was the lunch we had that day. It was nothing fancy, just something simple. There wasn’t even any present involved, partly because we’re kinda broke at that point, but I remembered it because of the warm Christmassy feel to it.
Chinese New Year
This is the worse of all festive seasons: Families gather together pretending to like each other; all the nosy relatives will get together and try to dig out dirt from other families so that they can feel good about theirs; as if kids running around like wild animals is not bad enough, the parents equip them with mini-explosives so that they could throw it at unsuspecting cats, dogs, or relative… provided IF the thing don’t explode in their face first.
Anyway… two years ago, I decided to spend CNY Reunion Dinner with my mother’s side of the family, and it was the first time I’ve ever had a proper CNY Reunion Dinner in 25 years! No kids running around, no mini-explosives, no gossipers… It was just a normal sit and dine event, where all us cousins make our grandparents laugh like mad. The table was definitely way too crowded for all of us, and our parents, but it was something to remember.
(In Memory Of Jacque – May he be happy wherever he is right now…)
Monday, October 31, 2005
Halloween In Malaysia
Happy Halloween! My bad for not posting anything about Halloween earlier and actually putting Thanksgiving first. Halloween is a big night! I always love the idea of people dressing up and freaking other people out. Of course, kinky costumes also work for me. =P But that’s beside the point; The point is: Halloween is an important event in the American calendar, unfortunately it doesn’t really work the same way here in Malaysia.
This is what I think of usually when people mention Halloween: Families carving pumpkins into scary looking faces and places it outside their house; (or nowadays they just buy the ready-carved ones, or the plastic ones so they could recycle it the next year); Children dressed up as ghosts and ghouls, or witches and warlock, or maybe something scarier… like Elvis, and threaten their adult neighbours, in the cutest way possible, so that they will be given tons of candies that might eventually give them diabetes; It’s also the night for homosexuals the world over (especially gay boys) to dress up as cowboys, men in tight uniforms, or something like that, before heading out for a whole night of partying.
Living in Malaysia for the past twenty over years, here’s 10 reasons I think why Halloween can’t work in Malaysia:
01. Ghost and anything related to the unworldly being is a taboo to the Malaysian government.
02. FINAS will say that The Rakyat doesn’t believe in Halloween.
03. There are NO homosexuals in Malaysia. It’s illegal to be gay.
04. Chinese consider ghosts and ghouls as bad luck. Try going knocking on their door dressed up like a ghost. I swear they’ll kick your butt, children or not.
05. If they will beat you up for dressing up like a ghost, do you think you can still get candies from them?
06. Parents here believe in putting their kids to sleep… the earlier the better.
07. If a kid even as much as try to threaten an adult here, they will first beat the kid up, then tell the kid’s parents so that the kid will get another good beating.
08. We don’t have pumpkins big enough to be carved into scary faces.
09. Even if we do have sizable pumpkins available, we’re just not talented enough to carve a pumpkin into a scary face. The thought of craving one is already scary enough.
10. We don’t believe in Elvis. Pontianak is the in thing.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Thank You All!
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and this year, I would like to turn the spotlight to the group of wonderful people who looked out for me, inspired me, and most importantly, helped me though the toughest time of my life. I wanted all of you to know that you lots mean the world to me, and I really wouldn’t know what to do without y’all…
Tara, Buddy, Cynthia
Without the three of you, I would’ve never had the chance of getting a taste if what it’s like to be an assistant director. Although our short didn’t win the award, look on the bright side, at least we got nominated! Looking forward to work with you guys again!
Elaine
My beloved editor… every time one of my writers screw up, it always remind me of the pain I put you through – having to proof my crap writing and constantly reminding me of the same mistakes over and over again. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m in editor’s hell right now, where proofreading means I have to rewrite more than half what I’m reading… =(
My writers
Ok, my “ex”-writers to be exact. Sue, Lin, Nigel, Hon Fei, Tse leng, I know this seems like something that should be said donkey-years ago, but oh well… I wanna thank you guys for not giving me shit, and for meeting the crazy deadlines that I gave y’all. I miss you guys! Also a special thank-you to certain lovable "bitch" who does design; when are we going to have another bitching session? =P
My friends in Penang…
Thanks to all of you who helped me a lot when I was back in Penang: Ee Chuang & Kevin, thanks for picking me up from the station when I first set foot back in Penang. (Yes, Ee Chuang, I can still remember that…) Jimmy 1, thanks for introducing me a wonderful GD, Jimmy 2, who managed to put up with my crazy demands, and helped me with so many cinema ads. And to that cute DVD seller at the Pirated DVD Tower Records in Prangin Mall… Ok, what the heck, I got nothing to thank him for actually, just feel like mentioning him here… *LOL*
Siti
Although the time I spent in Cathay was a short one, you have no idea how much you’ve taught me. It’s been a real honour to be able to work with a woman like you. I hope your dream will come true! Do keep in touch!
Amy, Ash & Keith
You three are like family to me. Without you guys I would never learn of the word “homesick”. A special thank-you to Amy for always being there for me and hear me whine about almost anything and everything, and also for putting up with most of my silly comments.
Darrel
Well, what can I say? This list wouldn’t be complete without your name here. You’ve helped me more than once and despite my nuisance, you’re always there to watch over me. Words cannot describe my respect for you, bro. Thanks a zillion~!
Ok, I know I left out a lot of names here... maybe I’ll slot you guys in next year? =P
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tara, Buddy, Cynthia
Without the three of you, I would’ve never had the chance of getting a taste if what it’s like to be an assistant director. Although our short didn’t win the award, look on the bright side, at least we got nominated! Looking forward to work with you guys again!
Elaine
My beloved editor… every time one of my writers screw up, it always remind me of the pain I put you through – having to proof my crap writing and constantly reminding me of the same mistakes over and over again. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m in editor’s hell right now, where proofreading means I have to rewrite more than half what I’m reading… =(
My writers
Ok, my “ex”-writers to be exact. Sue, Lin, Nigel, Hon Fei, Tse leng, I know this seems like something that should be said donkey-years ago, but oh well… I wanna thank you guys for not giving me shit, and for meeting the crazy deadlines that I gave y’all. I miss you guys! Also a special thank-you to certain lovable "bitch" who does design; when are we going to have another bitching session? =P
My friends in Penang…
Thanks to all of you who helped me a lot when I was back in Penang: Ee Chuang & Kevin, thanks for picking me up from the station when I first set foot back in Penang. (Yes, Ee Chuang, I can still remember that…) Jimmy 1, thanks for introducing me a wonderful GD, Jimmy 2, who managed to put up with my crazy demands, and helped me with so many cinema ads. And to that cute DVD seller at the Pirated DVD Tower Records in Prangin Mall… Ok, what the heck, I got nothing to thank him for actually, just feel like mentioning him here… *LOL*
Siti
Although the time I spent in Cathay was a short one, you have no idea how much you’ve taught me. It’s been a real honour to be able to work with a woman like you. I hope your dream will come true! Do keep in touch!
Amy, Ash & Keith
You three are like family to me. Without you guys I would never learn of the word “homesick”. A special thank-you to Amy for always being there for me and hear me whine about almost anything and everything, and also for putting up with most of my silly comments.
Darrel
Well, what can I say? This list wouldn’t be complete without your name here. You’ve helped me more than once and despite my nuisance, you’re always there to watch over me. Words cannot describe my respect for you, bro. Thanks a zillion~!
Ok, I know I left out a lot of names here... maybe I’ll slot you guys in next year? =P
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Cracking DaVinci's Crap: A Jessism
Was watching a National Geographic Special call "Unlocking DaVinci's Code". The 2-hour special was more of like a research on the so-called facts contained in Dan Brown’s novel "The DaVinci Code".
For those of you who haven't read the novel, like me, the book tells a supposedly fictionalized story about a secret code left by genius painter Leonardo DaVinci in his paintings. A lot of people who managed to decipher the code were killed and the book takes you to a lot of so-called legendary places around to world to crack what the secret is.
According to the National Geographic Special, the secret has something to do with Jesus being married to Mary. And that she was His wife, and they had a child, which carries the bloodline of Christ. Also something about why the Christian Church back then burnt the scriptures of the rest of the Jesus' apostle and only leaving those they that thought were the "right" depiction of Christ.
The way I see it: Leave the poor guy alone! He's already been nailed to a tree (or something like that) and long gone for centuries! Whether He is married, or not, is none of your god damn business! Couldn't you guys give the fella some privacy and leave Him alone?
For you so-called "thinkers" out there who like so much to "think" here's something that you to think about:
1. Have you ever thought that Jesus was maybe bisexual? I mean, c'mon… think about it. He's got 12 whatever-you-call-them who followed Him closely for no reasons, and when Mary shows up, they started to get all jealous of her. If they don't have anything "intimate" going on, then what's with the jealousy?
2. Maybe the gospel written by the other whatever-you-call-them were burnt because they actually say something about Jesus that made Him seem "human", such as throwing stones at birds, fishing, or maybe one of them actually saw Him jerked off, or went to a red light district?
3. The picture of "The Last Supper" drawn by DaVinci. Maybe the person on the right of Jesus is Mary. The reason why there are 11 of His men there was because He didn't invite the person that was going to betray Him to the event of the night?
4. As to why the knights of King Arthur were so rich: Maybe they did something that the Christian Church didn't manage to burn away. And they use that to blackmail the church, then the church got pissed, so they decided that it's time for the oh-so-holy knights to go to hell?
5. Have you ever thought that maybe Jesus would like you all to leave Him alone and stop prying into His private life? For all we know He could be gay and the reason He didn't marry was because He was in love with one (or all) of the 12 men that kept following Him.
6. If you have so much time on your hand to think about non-sense like this to prove that Christ is married, why don't you use the time to do some good for the world like strive for world peace, or something like that.
Once again, the whole point of this attempt of a blog is to say that: The poor dude's been dead for donkey years. It's time for you guys to leave Him alone and stop prying into His life. Whether He's married, or not, that's His personal life. Give Him some privacy for goodness' sake!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
No Kids!
On MSN yesterday, someone was trying to convince me to change my mind on not having a kid of my own. This person was telling me how great it would be to have a kid of my own, and how it's a MUST HAVE.
The way I see it: Oxygen is a MUST; Water is a MUST; Having loads of money to survive in this material world is a MUST. Bringing monsters to life - OPTIONAL.
It's true. Kids are just noisy monsters, with a cute disguise. And not forgetting to mention that they're expensive too. Do you know that to raise one of those thing, you need to spend over a million bucks? We're not talking about a couple of hundred here, but it's megabucks here. If you don't have kids, do you know that you could've be a millionaire already? So why waste it on something that will hate you as they reaches puberty? It just doesn't make any sense.
My advise: The world is already overpopulated. So do Mother Nature a favor and make use of condoms, or spermicide.
The way I see it: Oxygen is a MUST; Water is a MUST; Having loads of money to survive in this material world is a MUST. Bringing monsters to life - OPTIONAL.
It's true. Kids are just noisy monsters, with a cute disguise. And not forgetting to mention that they're expensive too. Do you know that to raise one of those thing, you need to spend over a million bucks? We're not talking about a couple of hundred here, but it's megabucks here. If you don't have kids, do you know that you could've be a millionaire already? So why waste it on something that will hate you as they reaches puberty? It just doesn't make any sense.
My advise: The world is already overpopulated. So do Mother Nature a favor and make use of condoms, or spermicide.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
"X3: The Phoenix Saga"
Being an "X Men" fan, I've been looking forward to "X3" since the phoenix silhouette was shown at the end of "X2". I still can’t believe that they’re actually making The Phoenix Saga into a movie! Yay! However, the idea of how they’re going to explain The Phoenix Saga in a two-hour movie really bugs me.
"X Men: The Animated Series", which was aired in the mid-90s, took 4 hours (8 episodes) to finish The Phoenix Saga, and with that, there are still a lot from the comics that were left out. I certainly don't see how they could do that in a 120 minutes movie without leaving out even more. Oh well… then again, they've been screwing up the storyline since they pair Rogue up with Iceman. (Gosh, I hope Gambit will turn up soon and fry that popsicle!) So what's the worse that could happen?
As for all the hoo-hah about Collin Farrell starring as Gambit in "X3", well… it turns out that those were just rumours. Sigh… So far, new characters that are confirmed, and will be introduced in "X3" are: Beast (Kelsey Grammer), Archangel (Ben Foster), Juggernaut (Vinne Jones), Leech (Cameron Bright), Dr. Moira McTaggert (Olivia Williams), Multiple Man (Eric Dane), and of course, the most powerful mutant in Marvel Comic’s history, The Phoenix (Famke Janssen).
Cast from the first two movies that will be returning in "X3" include: Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), James Marsden (Cyclops), Famke Janssen (Jean Grey), Rebecca Romjin Stamos (Mystique), Patrick Steward (Professor X), Ian McKellen (Magneto), Anna Paquin (Rogue), Shawn Ashmore (Iceman), Aaron Standford (Pyro), Daniel Cudmore (Colossus), and unfortunately, despite objections from worldwide fans, the Razzie Award's Worse Actress nominee, Halle Berry as Storm. (I've always loved that character until I saw her playing it…)
For those of you who can't wait till October 19 for the "X3" trailer to be out, below are screencaps from the supposed "X3" teaser that was initially scheduled to be aired before "Fantastic Four" last July. Some X-fanatics claimed that the screencaps below are a combination from an unreleased "X2" trailer, fused with the unreleased "X3" teaser. Well, I say, "Fuck it. Something is better than nothing!"
(Trailer screencaps courtesy of Juan José Palacios.)
Also available, on CanMag, is the full trailer description for the upcoming October 19 "X3" trailer release. Be warned that the page contain spoilers. (Click here for the trailer description.)
Friday, October 07, 2005
In & Out: A Jessism
(WARNING: This posting might not suitable for certain readers.)
Having the honour to talk to someone who "used to be straight", I realised that Seinfeld might be right on what he said about straight men. Read on…
26 years old, Chris* looks like your regular Ah Beng who sells pirated DVDs at the pasar malam – a tattoo on his hand, coloured hair, drives a somewhat modified car, and the dude even have an attitude to go with. Studied in Singapore when he was in primary school, and E&E in the states, Chris dated a few girls, slept with a couple of them, everything seems normal. Curious about the gay community Chris talked to a few gay friends he befriended online and decided to meet up with one of them. "He's a guy, I'm a guy. I've got nothing to lose. What is he going to do? Punch me?"
One thing led to another, the guy ended up asking Chris to sleep with him. And our hero, of course denied in a very frightful manner, but still, at the end of the day, got a head-job from his newfound friend. Then on, Chris let more and more of his online friends suck him off. "I don't let them kiss me and I sure don't suck them back, if that's what you're thinking." When asked of the reason why he kept going back for more, Chris said that "girls don't like to give head. Even if they do, it's not as good as what gay men can do."
Anyway, one fine day, Chris decided to have his first fuck with one of his 'suck buddies' to see how it's like screwing a gay man, which he describes as: "it's like doing a girl. The hole for a girl is looser, and a man's is tighter. Not much difference, still sex." Then cupid struck. Chris fell for a gay man, which he subsequently dated for a year and a half.
A confused boy, who now calls himself a bisexual, Chris did not have any contact with another girl after his fallout relationship with his boyfriend. Then came Damon*, who is two years younger than Chris. "I always wanted to do something different. I remember one Chinese New Year, instead of giving his family those hampers and yok kon (barbeque meats), I gave his mother an air conditioner. The look on his mother’s face was priceless."
When asked if Damon's parents knew about their relationship, Chris said Damon's mother found out after their relationship ended. "I think his mother suspected something was not right when I gave her son a mobile phone for his birthday. But she never did say anything about it. Damon came out to her after we broke up."
Yes, their relationship didn't last. Damon broke up with Chris shortly after Chris' 25th birthday, and left him for a much older, and richer, man. "I bought a house when I was 23, just so that we could have a roof over our head, but that still wasn’t enough for him." That relationship lasted three and a half years.
Although proudly pronouncing himself as a gay now, Chris still hasn't come out to his parents. "I think my mother knows about it, but she’s just in denial." So what happens when he goes back during festive season and his relatives asked about when is he getting married? "I'll just shrug it off by saying that I still I haven’t found the right person… which is true."
So I guess this answers our question of whether are all straight men really straight.
Coming out of the closet is hard, especially when you're living in a close minded country like Malaysia, where being gay could mean lifetime imprisonment, and whipped. To top it off, things are even worse if you're a homosexual in a Chinese family. Scenarios like this have been depicted in movies like Yon Fan's "Bi Shonen", and the recent award-winning, "Ethan Mao". Although the movies are not set in our own country, it sure does gives an idea of what it would be like to come out to your parents if you're a gay Chinese.
In "Bi Shonen", a gay policeman, Sam (Daniel Wu), tried his best to make his retired father proud. However things went awry when he fell in love with a top gigolo, Jet (Stephen Fung), and accidentally let his father caught them making out. The result was a tragic end. Then in "Ethan Mao", we have Ethan (Jun Hee Lee), who was thrown out of the house by his father when his stepmother out him.
So is fact really that far from fiction? Alexander*, who came out to his parents two years ago, when he "accidentally" told his mother about his mother about his boyfriend, has a different story to tell. "She actually said that just as long that I'm happy, it doesn't make a difference if I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They got along just fine when I took him home to meet her."
Although not all parents will flip to learn that their children are homosexuals, 8 out of 10 people would still prefer to stay in, than coming out of the closet. "It was hard when you're in the closet. You're constantly afraid that people will find out, so one lie will lead to another, and in the end, you’ll be living a life surrounded with lies," said Alexander.
Staying in the close is hard, but is coming out really that easy? According to Alexander, "coming out is hard; and staying in a conservative country like Malaysia sure doesn’t make it any easier, which is why most people decided to stay in, rather than out."
Conservative Chinese thinking is always that things could happen to anyone, and everyone, but not their family. Imagine you telling your parents that you’re gay, even if you’re not, how would they react?
As open minded as the community today might be, homosexuals are still being discriminated throughout the world. Even Malaysia's ex-prime minister once said during a radio interview that, "the British people accept homosexual ministers. But if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out."
The ex-prime minister added that, "in Malaysia, a consenting gay relationship is punishable by up to 20 years jail plus (whipping) and this is probably one of the harshest penalties for gay relations anywhere in the world."
Which such close minded thinking and remarks coming from a growing country, if you’re a homosexual, are you even going to think of coming out of the closet? I don’t think so.
(*Disclaimer: The above is just an opinion piece. Names of the interviewed subjects have been changed to protect their identity.)
Having the honour to talk to someone who "used to be straight", I realised that Seinfeld might be right on what he said about straight men. Read on…
26 years old, Chris* looks like your regular Ah Beng who sells pirated DVDs at the pasar malam – a tattoo on his hand, coloured hair, drives a somewhat modified car, and the dude even have an attitude to go with. Studied in Singapore when he was in primary school, and E&E in the states, Chris dated a few girls, slept with a couple of them, everything seems normal. Curious about the gay community Chris talked to a few gay friends he befriended online and decided to meet up with one of them. "He's a guy, I'm a guy. I've got nothing to lose. What is he going to do? Punch me?"
One thing led to another, the guy ended up asking Chris to sleep with him. And our hero, of course denied in a very frightful manner, but still, at the end of the day, got a head-job from his newfound friend. Then on, Chris let more and more of his online friends suck him off. "I don't let them kiss me and I sure don't suck them back, if that's what you're thinking." When asked of the reason why he kept going back for more, Chris said that "girls don't like to give head. Even if they do, it's not as good as what gay men can do."
Anyway, one fine day, Chris decided to have his first fuck with one of his 'suck buddies' to see how it's like screwing a gay man, which he describes as: "it's like doing a girl. The hole for a girl is looser, and a man's is tighter. Not much difference, still sex." Then cupid struck. Chris fell for a gay man, which he subsequently dated for a year and a half.
A confused boy, who now calls himself a bisexual, Chris did not have any contact with another girl after his fallout relationship with his boyfriend. Then came Damon*, who is two years younger than Chris. "I always wanted to do something different. I remember one Chinese New Year, instead of giving his family those hampers and yok kon (barbeque meats), I gave his mother an air conditioner. The look on his mother’s face was priceless."
When asked if Damon's parents knew about their relationship, Chris said Damon's mother found out after their relationship ended. "I think his mother suspected something was not right when I gave her son a mobile phone for his birthday. But she never did say anything about it. Damon came out to her after we broke up."
Yes, their relationship didn't last. Damon broke up with Chris shortly after Chris' 25th birthday, and left him for a much older, and richer, man. "I bought a house when I was 23, just so that we could have a roof over our head, but that still wasn’t enough for him." That relationship lasted three and a half years.
Although proudly pronouncing himself as a gay now, Chris still hasn't come out to his parents. "I think my mother knows about it, but she’s just in denial." So what happens when he goes back during festive season and his relatives asked about when is he getting married? "I'll just shrug it off by saying that I still I haven’t found the right person… which is true."
So I guess this answers our question of whether are all straight men really straight.
* * * * *
Coming out of the closet is hard, especially when you're living in a close minded country like Malaysia, where being gay could mean lifetime imprisonment, and whipped. To top it off, things are even worse if you're a homosexual in a Chinese family. Scenarios like this have been depicted in movies like Yon Fan's "Bi Shonen", and the recent award-winning, "Ethan Mao". Although the movies are not set in our own country, it sure does gives an idea of what it would be like to come out to your parents if you're a gay Chinese.
In "Bi Shonen", a gay policeman, Sam (Daniel Wu), tried his best to make his retired father proud. However things went awry when he fell in love with a top gigolo, Jet (Stephen Fung), and accidentally let his father caught them making out. The result was a tragic end. Then in "Ethan Mao", we have Ethan (Jun Hee Lee), who was thrown out of the house by his father when his stepmother out him.
So is fact really that far from fiction? Alexander*, who came out to his parents two years ago, when he "accidentally" told his mother about his mother about his boyfriend, has a different story to tell. "She actually said that just as long that I'm happy, it doesn't make a difference if I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They got along just fine when I took him home to meet her."
Although not all parents will flip to learn that their children are homosexuals, 8 out of 10 people would still prefer to stay in, than coming out of the closet. "It was hard when you're in the closet. You're constantly afraid that people will find out, so one lie will lead to another, and in the end, you’ll be living a life surrounded with lies," said Alexander.
Staying in the close is hard, but is coming out really that easy? According to Alexander, "coming out is hard; and staying in a conservative country like Malaysia sure doesn’t make it any easier, which is why most people decided to stay in, rather than out."
Conservative Chinese thinking is always that things could happen to anyone, and everyone, but not their family. Imagine you telling your parents that you’re gay, even if you’re not, how would they react?
As open minded as the community today might be, homosexuals are still being discriminated throughout the world. Even Malaysia's ex-prime minister once said during a radio interview that, "the British people accept homosexual ministers. But if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out."
The ex-prime minister added that, "in Malaysia, a consenting gay relationship is punishable by up to 20 years jail plus (whipping) and this is probably one of the harshest penalties for gay relations anywhere in the world."
Which such close minded thinking and remarks coming from a growing country, if you’re a homosexual, are you even going to think of coming out of the closet? I don’t think so.
(*Disclaimer: The above is just an opinion piece. Names of the interviewed subjects have been changed to protect their identity.)
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
PMS
A lot of my girl friends told me not to misuse this term, but I’ve been feeling down right in a Pissy Mood Swing lately. Shouldn’t I be entitled to use that ooh-so-sacred abbreviation?
Well, here’s the thing. I think I might be having hormones imbalance, or whatever reasons you women use as an excuse to scream and shout at people (especially your boyfriend/husband) and still get away with it.
For no apparent reasons, every slightest thing that people do ticks me off. Even the Ah Beng in the shopping mall that speak his veli der powerderful england ticks me off, and make me feel like slapping him left and right. Heck, even the ring of my mobile phone ticks me off. Thank goodness it’s an expensive piece that my ex bought for me, or I would’ve treated it the same way I did to my alarm clock a few years back. (I hurled my alarm clock out of my room window of the fifth floor apartment used to stay in, and I never saw it again ever since…)
Apart from that, I find that I can’t help myself every time a hot living piece of flesh walks by me. Instead of the usual checking-them-out-as-I-walk-and-try-not-to-hit-a-wall routine, I not only stare but also have the urge to jump their freaking bones! Suddenly I feel like a pregnant woman in her third or fourth trimester. You know… the one where they feel like they would want to hump every living man on earth? Whichever trimester that is.
Anyways, as I was saying, small little thing ticks me off. So yesterday, I opt for a spending therapy. Women should be able to relate to this one: You know… the one where you step into a manicure/pedicure place, a hair salon, or go on a wild shopping spree, so that you’ll feel good after? Anyway, I stepped into a hair salon to get my hair done. The usual trimming, straightening, and treatment… and even after I’m done with it, I still feel like shit.
This once in a blue moon mood swing is already driving me nuts, I wonder how women handle their version of PMS every month. Sigh…
Well, here’s the thing. I think I might be having hormones imbalance, or whatever reasons you women use as an excuse to scream and shout at people (especially your boyfriend/husband) and still get away with it.
For no apparent reasons, every slightest thing that people do ticks me off. Even the Ah Beng in the shopping mall that speak his veli der powerderful england ticks me off, and make me feel like slapping him left and right. Heck, even the ring of my mobile phone ticks me off. Thank goodness it’s an expensive piece that my ex bought for me, or I would’ve treated it the same way I did to my alarm clock a few years back. (I hurled my alarm clock out of my room window of the fifth floor apartment used to stay in, and I never saw it again ever since…)
Apart from that, I find that I can’t help myself every time a hot living piece of flesh walks by me. Instead of the usual checking-them-out-as-I-walk-and-try-not-to-hit-a-wall routine, I not only stare but also have the urge to jump their freaking bones! Suddenly I feel like a pregnant woman in her third or fourth trimester. You know… the one where they feel like they would want to hump every living man on earth? Whichever trimester that is.
Anyways, as I was saying, small little thing ticks me off. So yesterday, I opt for a spending therapy. Women should be able to relate to this one: You know… the one where you step into a manicure/pedicure place, a hair salon, or go on a wild shopping spree, so that you’ll feel good after? Anyway, I stepped into a hair salon to get my hair done. The usual trimming, straightening, and treatment… and even after I’m done with it, I still feel like shit.
This once in a blue moon mood swing is already driving me nuts, I wonder how women handle their version of PMS every month. Sigh…
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Hope
Witnessed something very respectable about Penangites yesterday while taking the mini bus home.
Got on the bus yesterday during one of those after work rush hour period where the bus is usually packed. There’s a guy in the bus who could’ve grabbed a seat throughout, but instead, this man kept passing available seats to every aunties and uncles that were standing around him. And we’re not talking about all those very 80-year-old looking senior citizens, just strangers who looked slightly elder than him.
Then, I saw a gay couple on the bus, sitting at the row next to me. Despite the fact that they were on a mini bus, in Penang, during rush hour, this pair of lovers did almost everything a straight couple would’ve done: holding each other’s hand, laughing off at a joke or two, lean over on each other’s shoulder… really sweet.
Now do note that this is Malaysia we’re talking about, in a public bus, with people around. Yet, this couple has no intention of hiding what they’re doing. And from my observation, no one sneered, stared, or even harassed the couple. To everyone else, they’re just another couple on the bus.
If this is actually happening everywhere around the world, and the reaction gained is similar to what I experienced yesterday, this world could actually be a better place! Polite passengers on the bus, with no discrimination whatsoever.
I’ve always hated my bus ride home during rush hours, but yesterday’s ride was something that made me feel good; that there’s still hope of a polite community without discrimination…
Got on the bus yesterday during one of those after work rush hour period where the bus is usually packed. There’s a guy in the bus who could’ve grabbed a seat throughout, but instead, this man kept passing available seats to every aunties and uncles that were standing around him. And we’re not talking about all those very 80-year-old looking senior citizens, just strangers who looked slightly elder than him.
Then, I saw a gay couple on the bus, sitting at the row next to me. Despite the fact that they were on a mini bus, in Penang, during rush hour, this pair of lovers did almost everything a straight couple would’ve done: holding each other’s hand, laughing off at a joke or two, lean over on each other’s shoulder… really sweet.
Now do note that this is Malaysia we’re talking about, in a public bus, with people around. Yet, this couple has no intention of hiding what they’re doing. And from my observation, no one sneered, stared, or even harassed the couple. To everyone else, they’re just another couple on the bus.
If this is actually happening everywhere around the world, and the reaction gained is similar to what I experienced yesterday, this world could actually be a better place! Polite passengers on the bus, with no discrimination whatsoever.
I’ve always hated my bus ride home during rush hours, but yesterday’s ride was something that made me feel good; that there’s still hope of a polite community without discrimination…
Monday, September 05, 2005
Got Sperm?
It’s strange how the human mind works. And what happened this weekend really got me thinking.
During my weekend stay in KL, a lesbian friend of mine asked if I could be the backup sperm donor should her immediate gay husband decided not to donate his seed.
For a person who doesn’t want a child of my own, and loathed the idea of childbirth, I of course, without any hesitation, said “yes”.
I know. How dumb can I get?
Although the chances of her husband NOT donating is going to be very slim, on my trip from KL back to Penang, I got to thinking about what will happen should I have to keep my end of the deal.
I’ve watched “Queer As Folk” and I’ve seen how things work. The only word that could describe the whole situation spells “complicated”. Imagine how to answer when the little monster asks where did it came from: Well, you see, your mommy, who happens to be a lesbian, decided that it’s a brilliant idea to have a child. So I wank into a cup, and your mother just squirts my ‘deposits’ up her cervix. And 9 months later, here you are!
Ok, now I’m just rude and being way too graphic. I know having a child ain’t all that bad. It’s just that, there is just one slight problem: I hated the idea and NEVER wanted a child of my own. I mean, come on:
1. Non-stop crying
2. More non-stop crying
3. Even more non-stop crying
4. FHM (Fucking High Maintenance)
5. Besides, the world is over populated anyway…
Yes, I admit that I’m slightly freaked out after thinking so much into details.
The situation here is somewhat different. All I need to do is donate. What’s so hard about that? All I need is a cup and some creative imaginations.
I have no regrets in saying yes, and I will honor my words, should I’m required, when the time comes. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really thought of myself as father, and never expected that the day will come where I will have to fertilize an ‘egg’, that freaks me out. But I’m ready to face it.
Whether or not the seed is mine, I’m sure that the child will be loved by all of us… parents, or not.
During my weekend stay in KL, a lesbian friend of mine asked if I could be the backup sperm donor should her immediate gay husband decided not to donate his seed.
For a person who doesn’t want a child of my own, and loathed the idea of childbirth, I of course, without any hesitation, said “yes”.
I know. How dumb can I get?
Although the chances of her husband NOT donating is going to be very slim, on my trip from KL back to Penang, I got to thinking about what will happen should I have to keep my end of the deal.
I’ve watched “Queer As Folk” and I’ve seen how things work. The only word that could describe the whole situation spells “complicated”. Imagine how to answer when the little monster asks where did it came from: Well, you see, your mommy, who happens to be a lesbian, decided that it’s a brilliant idea to have a child. So I wank into a cup, and your mother just squirts my ‘deposits’ up her cervix. And 9 months later, here you are!
Ok, now I’m just rude and being way too graphic. I know having a child ain’t all that bad. It’s just that, there is just one slight problem: I hated the idea and NEVER wanted a child of my own. I mean, come on:
1. Non-stop crying
2. More non-stop crying
3. Even more non-stop crying
4. FHM (Fucking High Maintenance)
5. Besides, the world is over populated anyway…
Yes, I admit that I’m slightly freaked out after thinking so much into details.
The situation here is somewhat different. All I need to do is donate. What’s so hard about that? All I need is a cup and some creative imaginations.
I have no regrets in saying yes, and I will honor my words, should I’m required, when the time comes. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really thought of myself as father, and never expected that the day will come where I will have to fertilize an ‘egg’, that freaks me out. But I’m ready to face it.
Whether or not the seed is mine, I’m sure that the child will be loved by all of us… parents, or not.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Got Blog?
The reason why this whole thing came to be is because people have been complaining that they can’t post reply to the crap I stuffed in my multiply journal, so here I am, an official “blogger”. (Damn I hate that "b" word!)
Anyway, there won’t be much difference of what I’m gonna write here and on Multiply. I'll prolly be linking the stuff and I post back and forth and, hopefully, confused my “beloved” readers. Hehehe...
Anyway, there won’t be much difference of what I’m gonna write here and on Multiply. I'll prolly be linking the stuff and I post back and forth and, hopefully, confused my “beloved” readers. Hehehe...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
