Reluctant

Started packing today. Can't believe that I'm moving again.

The previous time I felt so reluctant to leave was in April 2005, when I signed with Cathay Cineplexes. I cried so hard the week I was supposed to move, and I cried myself to sleep the first few weeks after my relocation. it was the first time I actually felt homesick.

Exactly two years later, jess is relocating again. It's strange how time flies by without us realizing. When I first move to JB in October 2005, I remember coming with only two small boxes and a travel bag. But now, I've got more junk than two boxes and a travel bag can fit. (I just finished loading up the third box before I started with this post and there's plenty more to go.)

My first impression of JB wasn't as good. (Evidence: Exhibit A, Exhibit B.) I was a loner back then. I don't socialize much with my colleagues -- in fact, I was rather cold to most of them. I was trapped in a place where nobody speaks my language! i have to be honest, my Mandarin was shit back then. I couldn't speak proper Mandarin and I don't really understand what people around me were usually fit-foh-feh-ing about most of the time, and whenever I speak to them in English, they just stare at me like I'm some alien from Mars speaking Swahili to them.

In less than 2 weeks, I will be relocating back to KL and start all-things over again: new job, new working enviornment, new bunch of co-workers, and most probably -- new friends. However, one thing's for sure: I will never forget each and every one of you here in JB! Although my relocation is still 2 weeks away, I'm missing you guys already... =(

[For all my friends in JB, especially Verlyn, Ee Luen, Greg, Laa Laa, Xiao Chen, Xiao Hui, Ace, Luke, my kind landlady and my dear Kenny, who was there for me during my depression, and motivated and cheered me on when I was having a hard time.]

- jessism © 22032007 -

NO!

You know, some people just don't understand the meaning of the that word. I mean, how hard is it to comprehend? NO MEANS NO! It doesn't mean "yes", "maybe", "I don't mind", or whatever one's twisted mind processed it to be: NO MEANS NO!

The reason why I'm so ticked off this time around is because I've mentioned this once before to the very same person that when I say it, I mean it. But it seems that what I've said didn't quite register at all. To make it worst, not only did it not register, the FOUR (4) times I mention it today, doesn't even come close to going into the bugger's ear!

Friends who know me knows that I can be patient... just don't try to test it. Today... let's just say that I've lost mine!

- jessism © 21032007 -

Privacy

It's very simple: I respect yours and I sure as hell hope that you respect mine. It's really not a lot to ask. I mean, really. How hard it is to keep your mouth shut abut somebody else's private information?

This is the reason why most of the time I chose to keep my mouth shut and rather not tell anybody anything abut myself. I'm not secretive, I just like to have some privacy. So when i tell someone something, regardless of its nature, I expect the person to honor my trust. Not to spread it to any and everybody he/she knows!

Call me arrogant, a self-absorbed bastard, or even an asshole. From today onwards, regardless of who the fuck you are, I'm keeping everything to myself!

- jessism © 21032007 -

Back

It's been a very long while since I last posted anything here. No, don't believe everything you hear. Jess didn't suffer from a writer's block. And no, I haven't married the man of my dreams and retired to Europe. That guy is still somewhere in my dreams...

The truth is: I've been suffering from depression. A very bad one, to be honest. Taking time off work and with the help and support from my great bunch of friends and family. I've managed to slowly crawl back out from that blackhole and am ready to face the world again.

As I haven't been working for the past 3 months and money is running out quick (no thanks to the bills I have to pay), it would be great if you guys can bank in some money for me. My Maybank account number is 1570-5468-7466.... Ok, just kidding. As much as I enjoy bumming around, I need a paying job and am looking for one right now. So if you lots know of any job vacancy (in publishing or entertainment), do let me know. Of course, if you prefer to give me cash donation instead, you're more than welcome to do so. =þ