Information Overload

Just when you thought that you know everything about your friend, think again. Though, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

During dinner yesterday, Clayton dared David to shave his head bald. Being the ass that I am, I added, "while you're at it, why don't youjust shave your balls too." It was meant to be a joke that was supposed to end right there. Honestly. But David just have to enlighten us: "I've done that." My jaw dropped.

Not knowing how to shut up, I just have to go: "You what?" As they say, curiosity kills the cat. Whatever that I didn't see coming hit me like a van, lorry, truck, oil tanker, 16-wheel container carrier. David went on telling me that actually shave it... yes, "it" -- the balls! As if I needed to know, "every three days", pubic included. He then went on explaining that the shave is required because of the underwear he wears!

"What sort of underwear would require you to shave your balls?!" I should've see this coming. David proceed to draw an image of the said underwear for me, which looks something like the picture below.

"That's why I have to shave off the bush." But that still doesn't explain why he needs to shave his balls!!!

David went on telling me about his underwear fetish collection, explaining to me that you require different underwear with different pants you put on. "It's a form of courtesy." As though the knowledge that my friend shave his private part every three days is not shocking enough, I sat through what seemed like forever listening to David telling, no, explaining to me about the different types of underwears there are in the market and about the more-than-twenty-five pairs of different underwears he owns and how you're supposed to "match" it with the types of pants you wear.

Too much information? Oh, no. there's more. "I think I have almost every color, except for one. Oh no, wait. It's more than one: purple, pink..." He lost me after pink. All that was in my mind at the time was to click my heels three times and utter the magic phrase: "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home." Clayton then reminded me that I wasn't wearing any ruby slipper... which means, there's more to come.

"You know, the funniest thing was seeing how my mom trying to hang my bareback underwear." (pix below)

You know what's funny? I still don't see the relevance of why he has to shave his balls to be able to wear those underwears he mentioned. But I decided to keep my mouth shut this time around.

- jessism © 26042007 -