The emotional anguish I have to go through, no one would ever understand. Everybody wanted a miracle. Me, living through life and not killing myself. Now that's what I call a bloody miracle!
Growing up, all I was exposed to was violence. Not TV violence, but voilence in reality, and at full force: Dad hitting Mom. Dad hitting me and my brother. Dad knocked Mom unconcious. Mom left after the incident.
I tried to kill myself when I was a teenager. I swallowed a whole dozen of sleeping pills but it didn't kill me. I woke up lying beside a shattered glass and an empty stretch of tin foil the next day. The door to my room was wide open. Someone has been in the room. Someone who managed to predict that a dozen of sleeping pills and a shattered glass beside a supposedly-sleeping teenager would mean he's still going to survive and MY!!!! That person was right! I actually survived! (With a kickass hangover...)
After Mom came home from her disappearance, she was never the same again. I felt the distance. But who gives a fuck about my feelings? I was just a kid to them. They seem to think that everything was "fine". The family is all perfect. So life goes on as if none of that has ever happened!
Not long after my attempted suicide, I told Mom one fine afternoon that, if not the whole family, I AM in desperate need to see a counselor before things get out of hand. And the answer I get? "Nothing is wrong with the family."
Now... let me try and recall what has happened over the years: Dad was abusive cigarette addict, Mom ran away from the family after being knocked unconcious by Dad, I tried to killed myself but nobody cared, my brother knocked someone up and dumped her at a convenient store AND THEN proceeded to run far away from home to work in a far away place and my parents managed to pretend that none of it ever happened.... WOW!!!! It sure sounds like "NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE FAMILY".
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
The One About Marrying A Gay Man
Talking to Sam online about how disappointed she is with men, straight men to be specific, it got me thinking: If straight men are such arse women said them to be, why would women still wanna marry them? Here's a thought, why not marry a gay man?! After all, as Amy puts it: "The secret to a happy marriage is to marry a gay husband."
01. Listener
99.9% of women always complain that their partner don't listen to them. Ask any women you know with gay friends, and you will find that gay men are actually very good listener. In fact, we are not only good listeners, we are also great...
02. Advisor
It's true! Ask yourself: how many times did your other half yawn or gave you useless advice the last time you went shopping with him? Shopping is a gay man's favorite past time! We will give you the answers you wanted to hear, telling you which match with what, as well as the dreaded line: 'that makes you look fat', without making you wanting to slap us.
03. Cleanliness
Women always complain about cleaning up after the husband. As most gay men have mysophobia, you probably wouldn't have to clean up after them. Heck, they might even clean up after you! Your house would always remain in a clean and tidy condition.
04. Beauty Tips
Marrying a gay man means the two can also share beauty tips! I guarantee you; NO living straight husband can do this: Imagine when your foundation/concealer runs out, you can't just go to your straight husband and say, "Darling, can I borrow your foundation/concealer?" But with a gay husband, you can always count on us to have one lying around!
05. Movies
When was the last time you wanted to watch a lovey-dovey romantic drama at the cinema and your hot-blooded boyfriend/husband dragged you to watch "RamBowl 100" with him? With a gay husband, you know that you can always count on him when you wanted to catch a romantic drama, or a stage musical! Heck, the two of you can even share a pack of Kleenex!
06. Understanding
Remember the time that you wanted to have those pink curtains, but your straight husband think that's it's too gay? Or your husband's inability to understand your obsession with Ikea, shoes or anything nice and posh? Well, as gay men, we understand your need for everything nice and posh, because we too are attracted to them like moth to a flame.
07. Sex
Marrying a straight man meaning you can only have sex with him and him alone, while he goes behind your back screwing every Thom, Trix & Sally he sees. Hey, if a straight man can do it, so could you! Marrying a gay men means, the two of you get to screw with every Tom, Dick & Harry any of you like. In fact, the two of you can even go out and hunt for men together! Now how cool is that?! Bet you can't do that with your straight husband!
08. Divorce
Let's be honest here. I don't think your gay husband is going to leave you for another woman any time soon. In fact, I can guarantee you that! And unless Malaysia legalizes gay marriage, I don't think he is going to leave you for another guy as well!
09. Sleep
Yes. Blissful and peaceful sleep. Women like to complain that their husband snores like a pig or waking them up in the middle of the night. Well, since you and your gay husband will most probably sleep in different room, you are sure to have that peaceful sleep you've always wanted. No one snoring beside you, and no one waking you up in the middle of the night, yet you will still have a sense of security knowing that you have a man in the house!
10. Tax Relief
Sure, the two of you will still get your annual tax relief as a couple, but why help straight men get their tax cut if he ain't treating you right? After all those examples I've given you, isn't sufficient to say that we 'deserve' it more? So find a gay man to marry today! LoL...
[Disclaimer: The article above should not be taken seriously. The author will NOT be responsible should any undesirable consequences, should any occur, after your marriage to a gay man. Should you take the article above seriously, and you are seriously thinking about marrying a gay man, the author suggests that the two of you work out a signed prenuptial agreement to avoid any unwanted, or undesirable, arguments after marriage.]
- jessism © 23062008 -
01. Listener
99.9% of women always complain that their partner don't listen to them. Ask any women you know with gay friends, and you will find that gay men are actually very good listener. In fact, we are not only good listeners, we are also great...
02. Advisor
It's true! Ask yourself: how many times did your other half yawn or gave you useless advice the last time you went shopping with him? Shopping is a gay man's favorite past time! We will give you the answers you wanted to hear, telling you which match with what, as well as the dreaded line: 'that makes you look fat', without making you wanting to slap us.
03. Cleanliness
Women always complain about cleaning up after the husband. As most gay men have mysophobia, you probably wouldn't have to clean up after them. Heck, they might even clean up after you! Your house would always remain in a clean and tidy condition.
04. Beauty Tips
Marrying a gay man means the two can also share beauty tips! I guarantee you; NO living straight husband can do this: Imagine when your foundation/concealer runs out, you can't just go to your straight husband and say, "Darling, can I borrow your foundation/concealer?" But with a gay husband, you can always count on us to have one lying around!
05. Movies
When was the last time you wanted to watch a lovey-dovey romantic drama at the cinema and your hot-blooded boyfriend/husband dragged you to watch "RamBowl 100" with him? With a gay husband, you know that you can always count on him when you wanted to catch a romantic drama, or a stage musical! Heck, the two of you can even share a pack of Kleenex!
06. Understanding
Remember the time that you wanted to have those pink curtains, but your straight husband think that's it's too gay? Or your husband's inability to understand your obsession with Ikea, shoes or anything nice and posh? Well, as gay men, we understand your need for everything nice and posh, because we too are attracted to them like moth to a flame.
07. Sex
Marrying a straight man meaning you can only have sex with him and him alone, while he goes behind your back screwing every Thom, Trix & Sally he sees. Hey, if a straight man can do it, so could you! Marrying a gay men means, the two of you get to screw with every Tom, Dick & Harry any of you like. In fact, the two of you can even go out and hunt for men together! Now how cool is that?! Bet you can't do that with your straight husband!
08. Divorce
Let's be honest here. I don't think your gay husband is going to leave you for another woman any time soon. In fact, I can guarantee you that! And unless Malaysia legalizes gay marriage, I don't think he is going to leave you for another guy as well!
09. Sleep
Yes. Blissful and peaceful sleep. Women like to complain that their husband snores like a pig or waking them up in the middle of the night. Well, since you and your gay husband will most probably sleep in different room, you are sure to have that peaceful sleep you've always wanted. No one snoring beside you, and no one waking you up in the middle of the night, yet you will still have a sense of security knowing that you have a man in the house!
10. Tax Relief
Sure, the two of you will still get your annual tax relief as a couple, but why help straight men get their tax cut if he ain't treating you right? After all those examples I've given you, isn't sufficient to say that we 'deserve' it more? So find a gay man to marry today! LoL...
[Disclaimer: The article above should not be taken seriously. The author will NOT be responsible should any undesirable consequences, should any occur, after your marriage to a gay man. Should you take the article above seriously, and you are seriously thinking about marrying a gay man, the author suggests that the two of you work out a signed prenuptial agreement to avoid any unwanted, or undesirable, arguments after marriage.]
- jessism © 23062008 -
Friday, June 06, 2008
The One About The "Malaysia Boleh" Spirit
To show off our "Malaysia Boleh" spirit, our beloved Prime Minister has yet again decided that prices of goods should go up! But how does this relate to "Malaysia Boleh", one might ask. Well, the truth is, all along our "Malaysia Boleh" spirits have never left us. If you look closely in your daily living, you will find that we, in fact, CAN achieve a lot of things!
Don't believe me? Read on:
01. NON-Bumiputera can survive without government help
Yep. Us NON-Bumis are like roaches. Strong and undying. Despite the close-to-nothing help our government is giving us, we still managed to send our children to further their studies overseas and never to return again. Even without the government giving us 7% Bumiputera discount when we buy landed properties, we still have a roof over our head.
02. Toll booths can be set up every 30km
Look at the roads in KL. Those beautifully set up toll booths are everywhere. Aren't they a sight to see? And besides, you can even beat those toll-owner-controlled traffic lights, if you pay a "small" amount of money! How cool is that?!
03. Poor Malaysians will survive
Yes, people with lower income in Malaysia won't die of starvation just because of the price hike. Rice is expensive, flour is expensive, so what? Poor people can always resort to potatoes or non-flour and non-rice related products...whatever those are. Worse comes to worse there's always those overgrown weeds that no one is cutting, or the trash that those rch people left behind and our close-to-non-existing garbage man is not taking out. In short, not to worry, poor people won't just drop dead like flies.
04. Non-Bumis can afford expensive pork
We non-Bumis are a bunch of capable people with high buying power, the price of pork have to go up. To make things even more interesting, now there're only a number of days you can buy pork! This can help improve our math and estimation skill. Estimate how much pork can you and your family consume before the butcher comes selling more pork again. What a fun way to shop!
05. Now the rich can also use public transport
To make public transport more rich-friendly, they're doubling the price of bus tickets! Now that ticket prices will be more expensive, rich people will feel more comfortable in using public transportation without feeling cheap! This will, in hope, closer the ties between the poor and the rich.
06. We're #1 Again!!!
We just like to be on top of the list. Who cares if the government isn’t comparing oil prices dollar to dollar? Who cares if our country produce oil and yet we charge our citizens loads of money for it? Who cares if we're going to be out of oil to drill by Year 2014? We can still sell barrels of oil overseas and earn money for the country! No one is complaining about Proton is more expensive in Malaysia compared to the selling price overseas! With that, the government feels that it's time we top another list: "The Most Expensive Oil Price In A Country Which Produce Oil"!
07. WE -- The Rakyat -- trust their government
We love and trust our government so much we don't question their actions. It's true! Say for example: The government has stop "subsidizing" for petrol. We never question where that portion of money is going to, even though we don't see an improvement in the quality of life, or a decrease in crime rates, or better drainage system for flood-prone areas. Our government still sells oil to overseas country even when we are going to run out of oil by the Year 2014. You don't see us asking them to stop doign that! We trust that they will make good use of the money and not pocketing that huge sum. We love our government.
08. Malaysia can have astronaut(s)
Who cares what the newspapers in Australia said about us? Our Malaysian government can do anything with our country's taxpayers' money and there is nothing Australia or the Malaysian taxpayer can do about it! Then again, who are we to question our government? We trust and believe in them.
09. Malaysia is a friendly country
Malaysia is a great place to live in despite prices of goods keep going up. In fact we are so friendly to neighboring countries like Singapore; we allow them come in to Malaysia to buy fuel, rice, flour or anything they want for the same price our citizens are getting. So what if it's a price hike for the locals?
10. Malaysia is a homosexual-free country
As our former Prime Minister literally puts it: "British people accept homosexual ministers but if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out." So rest assure, there are NO homosexuals in Malaysia. Cause if they exists, or even as close as set foot in our country, our government would've sniffed them out and thrown them out of the country ages ago! Malaysia is homo-free!
There are probably more that I couldn't think of right now but if you have something of the similar to share, feel free to chip in your two cents worth about our magnificently governed country.
- jessism © 06062008-
Don't believe me? Read on:
01. NON-Bumiputera can survive without government helpYep. Us NON-Bumis are like roaches. Strong and undying. Despite the close-to-nothing help our government is giving us, we still managed to send our children to further their studies overseas and never to return again. Even without the government giving us 7% Bumiputera discount when we buy landed properties, we still have a roof over our head.
02. Toll booths can be set up every 30kmLook at the roads in KL. Those beautifully set up toll booths are everywhere. Aren't they a sight to see? And besides, you can even beat those toll-owner-controlled traffic lights, if you pay a "small" amount of money! How cool is that?!
03. Poor Malaysians will survive
Yes, people with lower income in Malaysia won't die of starvation just because of the price hike. Rice is expensive, flour is expensive, so what? Poor people can always resort to potatoes or non-flour and non-rice related products...whatever those are. Worse comes to worse there's always those overgrown weeds that no one is cutting, or the trash that those rch people left behind and our close-to-non-existing garbage man is not taking out. In short, not to worry, poor people won't just drop dead like flies.
04. Non-Bumis can afford expensive pork
We non-Bumis are a bunch of capable people with high buying power, the price of pork have to go up. To make things even more interesting, now there're only a number of days you can buy pork! This can help improve our math and estimation skill. Estimate how much pork can you and your family consume before the butcher comes selling more pork again. What a fun way to shop!
05. Now the rich can also use public transport
To make public transport more rich-friendly, they're doubling the price of bus tickets! Now that ticket prices will be more expensive, rich people will feel more comfortable in using public transportation without feeling cheap! This will, in hope, closer the ties between the poor and the rich.
06. We're #1 Again!!!We just like to be on top of the list. Who cares if the government isn’t comparing oil prices dollar to dollar? Who cares if our country produce oil and yet we charge our citizens loads of money for it? Who cares if we're going to be out of oil to drill by Year 2014? We can still sell barrels of oil overseas and earn money for the country! No one is complaining about Proton is more expensive in Malaysia compared to the selling price overseas! With that, the government feels that it's time we top another list: "The Most Expensive Oil Price In A Country Which Produce Oil"!
07. WE -- The Rakyat -- trust their government
We love and trust our government so much we don't question their actions. It's true! Say for example: The government has stop "subsidizing" for petrol. We never question where that portion of money is going to, even though we don't see an improvement in the quality of life, or a decrease in crime rates, or better drainage system for flood-prone areas. Our government still sells oil to overseas country even when we are going to run out of oil by the Year 2014. You don't see us asking them to stop doign that! We trust that they will make good use of the money and not pocketing that huge sum. We love our government.
08. Malaysia can have astronaut(s)Who cares what the newspapers in Australia said about us? Our Malaysian government can do anything with our country's taxpayers' money and there is nothing Australia or the Malaysian taxpayer can do about it! Then again, who are we to question our government? We trust and believe in them.
09. Malaysia is a friendly country
Malaysia is a great place to live in despite prices of goods keep going up. In fact we are so friendly to neighboring countries like Singapore; we allow them come in to Malaysia to buy fuel, rice, flour or anything they want for the same price our citizens are getting. So what if it's a price hike for the locals?
10. Malaysia is a homosexual-free countryAs our former Prime Minister literally puts it: "British people accept homosexual ministers but if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out." So rest assure, there are NO homosexuals in Malaysia. Cause if they exists, or even as close as set foot in our country, our government would've sniffed them out and thrown them out of the country ages ago! Malaysia is homo-free!
There are probably more that I couldn't think of right now but if you have something of the similar to share, feel free to chip in your two cents worth about our magnificently governed country.
- jessism © 06062008-
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