Halloween In Malaysia

Happy Halloween! My bad for not posting anything about Halloween earlier and actually putting Thanksgiving first.

Halloween is a big night! I always love the idea of people dressing up and freaking other people out. Of course, kinky costumes also work for me. =P But that’s beside the point; The point is: Halloween is an important event in the American calendar, unfortunately it doesn’t really work the same way here in Malaysia.

This is what I think of usually when people mention Halloween: Families carving pumpkins into scary looking faces and places it outside their house; (or nowadays they just buy the ready-carved ones, or the plastic ones so they could recycle it the next year); Children dressed up as ghosts and ghouls, or witches and warlock, or maybe something scarier… like Elvis, and threaten their adult neighbours, in the cutest way possible, so that they will be given tons of candies that might eventually give them diabetes; It’s also the night for homosexuals the world over (especially gay boys) to dress up as cowboys, men in tight uniforms, or something like that, before heading out for a whole night of partying.

Living in Malaysia for the past twenty over years, here’s 10 reasons I think why Halloween can’t work in Malaysia:

01. Ghost and anything related to the unworldly being is a taboo to the Malaysian government.
02. FINAS will say that The Rakyat doesn’t believe in Halloween.
03. There are NO homosexuals in Malaysia. It’s illegal to be gay.
04. Chinese consider ghosts and ghouls as bad luck. Try going knocking on their door dressed up like a ghost. I swear they’ll kick your butt, children or not.
05. If they will beat you up for dressing up like a ghost, do you think you can still get candies from them?
06. Parents here believe in putting their kids to sleep… the earlier the better.
07. If a kid even as much as try to threaten an adult here, they will first beat the kid up, then tell the kid’s parents so that the kid will get another good beating.
08. We don’t have pumpkins big enough to be carved into scary faces.
09. Even if we do have sizable pumpkins available, we’re just not talented enough to carve a pumpkin into a scary face. The thought of craving one is already scary enough.
10. We don’t believe in Elvis. Pontianak is the in thing.

Thank You All!

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and this year, I would like to turn the spotlight to the group of wonderful people who looked out for me, inspired me, and most importantly, helped me though the toughest time of my life. I wanted all of you to know that you lots mean the world to me, and I really wouldn’t know what to do without y’all…

Tara, Buddy, Cynthia
Without the three of you, I would’ve never had the chance of getting a taste if what it’s like to be an assistant director. Although our short didn’t win the award, look on the bright side, at least we got nominated! Looking forward to work with you guys again!

Elaine
My beloved editor… every time one of my writers screw up, it always remind me of the pain I put you through – having to proof my crap writing and constantly reminding me of the same mistakes over and over again. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m in editor’s hell right now, where proofreading means I have to rewrite more than half what I’m reading… =(

My writers
Ok, my “ex”-writers to be exact. Sue, Lin, Nigel, Hon Fei, Tse leng, I know this seems like something that should be said donkey-years ago, but oh well… I wanna thank you guys for not giving me shit, and for meeting the crazy deadlines that I gave y’all. I miss you guys! Also a special thank-you to certain lovable "bitch" who does design; when are we going to have another bitching session? =P

My friends in Penang…
Thanks to all of you who helped me a lot when I was back in Penang: Ee Chuang & Kevin, thanks for picking me up from the station when I first set foot back in Penang. (Yes, Ee Chuang, I can still remember that…) Jimmy 1, thanks for introducing me a wonderful GD, Jimmy 2, who managed to put up with my crazy demands, and helped me with so many cinema ads. And to that cute DVD seller at the Pirated DVD Tower Records in Prangin Mall… Ok, what the heck, I got nothing to thank him for actually, just feel like mentioning him here… *LOL*

Siti
Although the time I spent in Cathay was a short one, you have no idea how much you’ve taught me. It’s been a real honour to be able to work with a woman like you. I hope your dream will come true! Do keep in touch!

Amy, Ash & Keith
You three are like family to me. Without you guys I would never learn of the word “homesick”. A special thank-you to Amy for always being there for me and hear me whine about almost anything and everything, and also for putting up with most of my silly comments.


Darrel
Well, what can I say? This list wouldn’t be complete without your name here. You’ve helped me more than once and despite my nuisance, you’re always there to watch over me. Words cannot describe my respect for you, bro. Thanks a zillion~!

Ok, I know I left out a lot of names here... maybe I’ll slot you guys in next year? =P

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cracking DaVinci's Crap: A Jessism

Was watching a National Geographic Special call "Unlocking DaVinci's Code". The 2-hour special was more of like a research on the so-called facts contained in Dan Brown’s novel "The DaVinci Code".

For those of you who haven't read the novel, like me, the book tells a supposedly fictionalized story about a secret code left by genius painter Leonardo DaVinci in his paintings. A lot of people who managed to decipher the code were killed and the book takes you to a lot of so-called legendary places around to world to crack what the secret is.

According to the National Geographic Special, the secret has something to do with Jesus being married to Mary. And that she was His wife, and they had a child, which carries the bloodline of Christ. Also something about why the Christian Church back then burnt the scriptures of the rest of the Jesus' apostle and only leaving those they that thought were the "right" depiction of Christ.

The way I see it: Leave the poor guy alone! He's already been nailed to a tree (or something like that) and long gone for centuries! Whether He is married, or not, is none of your god damn business! Couldn't you guys give the fella some privacy and leave Him alone?

For you so-called "thinkers" out there who like so much to "think" here's something that you to think about:

1. Have you ever thought that Jesus was maybe bisexual? I mean, c'mon… think about it. He's got 12 whatever-you-call-them who followed Him closely for no reasons, and when Mary shows up, they started to get all jealous of her. If they don't have anything "intimate" going on, then what's with the jealousy?

2. Maybe the gospel written by the other whatever-you-call-them were burnt because they actually say something about Jesus that made Him seem "human", such as throwing stones at birds, fishing, or maybe one of them actually saw Him jerked off, or went to a red light district?

3. The picture of "The Last Supper" drawn by DaVinci. Maybe the person on the right of Jesus is Mary. The reason why there are 11 of His men there was because He didn't invite the person that was going to betray Him to the event of the night?

4. As to why the knights of King Arthur were so rich: Maybe they did something that the Christian Church didn't manage to burn away. And they use that to blackmail the church, then the church got pissed, so they decided that it's time for the oh-so-holy knights to go to hell?

5. Have you ever thought that maybe Jesus would like you all to leave Him alone and stop prying into His private life? For all we know He could be gay and the reason He didn't marry was because He was in love with one (or all) of the 12 men that kept following Him.

6. If you have so much time on your hand to think about non-sense like this to prove that Christ is married, why don't you use the time to do some good for the world like strive for world peace, or something like that.

Once again, the whole point of this attempt of a blog is to say that: The poor dude's been dead for donkey years. It's time for you guys to leave Him alone and stop prying into His life. Whether He's married, or not, that's His personal life. Give Him some privacy for goodness' sake!

No Kids!

On MSN yesterday, someone was trying to convince me to change my mind on not having a kid of my own. This person was telling me how great it would be to have a kid of my own, and how it's a MUST HAVE.

The way I see it: Oxygen is a MUST; Water is a MUST; Having loads of money to survive in this material world is a MUST. Bringing monsters to life - OPTIONAL.

It's true. Kids are just noisy monsters, with a cute disguise. And not forgetting to mention that they're expensive too. Do you know that to raise one of those thing, you need to spend over a million bucks? We're not talking about a couple of hundred here, but it's megabucks here. If you don't have kids, do you know that you could've be a millionaire already? So why waste it on something that will hate you as they reaches puberty? It just doesn't make any sense.

My advise: The world is already overpopulated. So do Mother Nature a favor and make use of condoms, or spermicide.

"X3: The Phoenix Saga"

Being an "X Men" fan, I've been looking forward to "X3" since the phoenix silhouette was shown at the end of "X2". I still can’t believe that they’re actually making The Phoenix Saga into a movie! Yay! However, the idea of how they’re going to explain The Phoenix Saga in a two-hour movie really bugs me.

"X Men: The Animated Series", which was aired in the mid-90s, took 4 hours (8 episodes) to finish The Phoenix Saga, and with that, there are still a lot from the comics that were left out. I certainly don't see how they could do that in a 120 minutes movie without leaving out even more. Oh well… then again, they've been screwing up the storyline since they pair Rogue up with Iceman. (Gosh, I hope Gambit will turn up soon and fry that popsicle!) So what's the worse that could happen?

As for all the hoo-hah about Collin Farrell starring as Gambit in "X3", well… it turns out that those were just rumours. Sigh… So far, new characters that are confirmed, and will be introduced in "X3" are: Beast (Kelsey Grammer), Archangel (Ben Foster), Juggernaut (Vinne Jones), Leech (Cameron Bright), Dr. Moira McTaggert (Olivia Williams), Multiple Man (Eric Dane), and of course, the most powerful mutant in Marvel Comic’s history, The Phoenix (Famke Janssen).

Cast from the first two movies that will be returning in "X3" include: Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), James Marsden (Cyclops), Famke Janssen (Jean Grey), Rebecca Romjin Stamos (Mystique), Patrick Steward (Professor X), Ian McKellen (Magneto), Anna Paquin (Rogue), Shawn Ashmore (Iceman), Aaron Standford (Pyro), Daniel Cudmore (Colossus), and unfortunately, despite objections from worldwide fans, the Razzie Award's Worse Actress nominee, Halle Berry as Storm. (I've always loved that character until I saw her playing it…)

For those of you who can't wait till October 19 for the "X3" trailer to be out, below are screencaps from the supposed "X3" teaser that was initially scheduled to be aired before "Fantastic Four" last July. Some X-fanatics claimed that the screencaps below are a combination from an unreleased "X2" trailer, fused with the unreleased "X3" teaser. Well, I say, "Fuck it. Something is better than nothing!"

(Trailer screencaps courtesy of Juan José Palacios.)

Also available, on CanMag, is the full trailer description for the upcoming October 19 "X3" trailer release. Be warned that the page contain spoilers. (Click here for the trailer description.)

In & Out: A Jessism

(WARNING: This posting might not suitable for certain readers.)

Having the honour to talk to someone who "used to be straight", I realised that Seinfeld might be right on what he said about straight men. Read on…

26 years old, Chris* looks like your regular Ah Beng who sells pirated DVDs at the pasar malam – a tattoo on his hand, coloured hair, drives a somewhat modified car, and the dude even have an attitude to go with. Studied in Singapore when he was in primary school, and E&E in the states, Chris dated a few girls, slept with a couple of them, everything seems normal. Curious about the gay community Chris talked to a few gay friends he befriended online and decided to meet up with one of them. "He's a guy, I'm a guy. I've got nothing to lose. What is he going to do? Punch me?"

One thing led to another, the guy ended up asking Chris to sleep with him. And our hero, of course denied in a very frightful manner, but still, at the end of the day, got a head-job from his newfound friend. Then on, Chris let more and more of his online friends suck him off. "I don't let them kiss me and I sure don't suck them back, if that's what you're thinking." When asked of the reason why he kept going back for more, Chris said that "girls don't like to give head. Even if they do, it's not as good as what gay men can do."

Anyway, one fine day, Chris decided to have his first fuck with one of his 'suck buddies' to see how it's like screwing a gay man, which he describes as: "it's like doing a girl. The hole for a girl is looser, and a man's is tighter. Not much difference, still sex." Then cupid struck. Chris fell for a gay man, which he subsequently dated for a year and a half.

A confused boy, who now calls himself a bisexual, Chris did not have any contact with another girl after his fallout relationship with his boyfriend. Then came Damon*, who is two years younger than Chris. "I always wanted to do something different. I remember one Chinese New Year, instead of giving his family those hampers and yok kon (barbeque meats), I gave his mother an air conditioner. The look on his mother’s face was priceless."

When asked if Damon's parents knew about their relationship, Chris said Damon's mother found out after their relationship ended. "I think his mother suspected something was not right when I gave her son a mobile phone for his birthday. But she never did say anything about it. Damon came out to her after we broke up."

Yes, their relationship didn't last. Damon broke up with Chris shortly after Chris' 25th birthday, and left him for a much older, and richer, man. "I bought a house when I was 23, just so that we could have a roof over our head, but that still wasn’t enough for him." That relationship lasted three and a half years.

Although proudly pronouncing himself as a gay now, Chris still hasn't come out to his parents. "I think my mother knows about it, but she’s just in denial." So what happens when he goes back during festive season and his relatives asked about when is he getting married? "I'll just shrug it off by saying that I still I haven’t found the right person… which is true."

So I guess this answers our question of whether are all straight men really straight.

* * * * *

Coming out of the closet is hard, especially when you're living in a close minded country like Malaysia, where being gay could mean lifetime imprisonment, and whipped. To top it off, things are even worse if you're a homosexual in a Chinese family. Scenarios like this have been depicted in movies like Yon Fan's "Bi Shonen", and the recent award-winning, "Ethan Mao". Although the movies are not set in our own country, it sure does gives an idea of what it would be like to come out to your parents if you're a gay Chinese.

In "Bi Shonen", a gay policeman, Sam (Daniel Wu), tried his best to make his retired father proud. However things went awry when he fell in love with a top gigolo, Jet (Stephen Fung), and accidentally let his father caught them making out. The result was a tragic end. Then in "Ethan Mao", we have Ethan (Jun Hee Lee), who was thrown out of the house by his father when his stepmother out him.

So is fact really that far from fiction? Alexander*, who came out to his parents two years ago, when he "accidentally" told his mother about his mother about his boyfriend, has a different story to tell. "She actually said that just as long that I'm happy, it doesn't make a difference if I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They got along just fine when I took him home to meet her."

Although not all parents will flip to learn that their children are homosexuals, 8 out of 10 people would still prefer to stay in, than coming out of the closet. "It was hard when you're in the closet. You're constantly afraid that people will find out, so one lie will lead to another, and in the end, you’ll be living a life surrounded with lies," said Alexander.

Staying in the close is hard, but is coming out really that easy? According to Alexander, "coming out is hard; and staying in a conservative country like Malaysia sure doesn’t make it any easier, which is why most people decided to stay in, rather than out."

Conservative Chinese thinking is always that things could happen to anyone, and everyone, but not their family. Imagine you telling your parents that you’re gay, even if you’re not, how would they react?

As open minded as the community today might be, homosexuals are still being discriminated throughout the world. Even Malaysia's ex-prime minister once said during a radio interview that, "the British people accept homosexual ministers. But if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out."

The ex-prime minister added that, "in Malaysia, a consenting gay relationship is punishable by up to 20 years jail plus (whipping) and this is probably one of the harshest penalties for gay relations anywhere in the world."

Which such close minded thinking and remarks coming from a growing country, if you’re a homosexual, are you even going to think of coming out of the closet? I don’t think so.

(*Disclaimer: The above is just an opinion piece. Names of the interviewed subjects have been changed to protect their identity.)