Of Acrophobia & Flying Aluminum Tubes

I'm afraid of heights. I can't look down from the second level railing of a shopping mall, or I'll get all weak and queasy. So I really don't get why when falling from great heights can cause instant death, people just have to do even more dangerous things to get you high. First, they invent flying aluminum tubes the size of a Brontosaurus. As if that is not crazy enough, they stuff the aluminum tube with shitloads of explodable stuff. As if that is still not enough, they pump the Bronto-aluminum tube with highly flammable fluids. Then to make things more interesting, they decided to stuff a couple hundred of living people in it, before plopping it up in the air, and charge the living "specimens" a bomb for it. It's crazy.

We know that a motorcycle crash can crack your head open like a watermelon dropping on the floor. Instead of coming out with ways to PREVENT motorcycle from being produced, we invent something to protect the "watermelon"! It's as if we're saying: "it's ok to crash in a motorcycle accident now, your head will be safe... but we don't guarantee other parts of your body will be."

Let's not get sidetracked here.

Like I said, I'm afraid of heights. But these days, if you wanted to get somewhere far, fast, (and expensive) the only solution is to fly. Being afraid of heights, flying is definitely a hugeass no-no for me. I can still remember the first time I went on a plane. I was put on an Air Asia flight by Star Cineplexes, to go cover an event in Sarawak. The trip totally freaked me out. I almost peed in my pants when the plane took off, and while it was landing. I thought I was going to die young.

The second time I got on a plane was this year's Chinese New Year, where I took a MAS flight from JB to Kedah. The flight was smooth, and I was about to forget about the fact that I’m way up high. Then the captain spoke: "you are gazillion of feet above sea level and you will die if we crash. But don't worry, the weather outside is beautiful. It's going to be a beautiful day to die, if we do crash." Well, he didn't exactly say that, but that's what it sounded like to me.

"Oh, look to your left, there's Oceanic Air Flight 815. Don't worry; I won't crash on some weird island like they are about to."

Tomorrow, I will once again walk myself into an aluminum tube for a long flight. Pray hard for me, so I don't end up on some weird island... That is unless the island is filled with gorgeous Bel Ami model-looking hunks, then it's a different story...

An Original Jessism © 28062006