A Pornographic Lesson

Had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine yesterday.

You see, I always thought that you can pick up foreign language from porn. Yes, porn. I mean, the words keep repeating, there are actions to show you what it means... you should be able to get the hang of it in no time.

Take American porn for example: Words like "faster", "harder", "fuck me", "suck me", "lick me" (and etc.), keep repeating throughout. With the accompanying action, it should be easy to catch on after a few minutes, right? Same goes for Jap-porn: people having sex, girl getting screwed say the magic word, "yamateh", and guy started screwing her shitless... you should get the picture of what it meant, right?

Ok, anyway, back to my story. I saw this friend of mine having the word "YAMATEH", in caps, on her MSN nick. Through my experience from watching Japanese porn and seeing the action that accompanied it: seeing that the girl in the porn did get screwed shitless, i assume it should by default means "fuck me", or "fuck me harder", right? Wrong!

Apparently, this friend of mine told me that the word meant "advance", or something like that, which now brings me to:

Why the hell would anyone sane yell "ADVANCE" in bed?

Just imagine you having sex with your partner and the person suddenly screams "Advance! ADvance! ADVANCE!" My natural instinct would be to slap the person left and right before asking: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

An almost similar conversation came up last weekend while I was having lunch with my KL housemates. Talk about weird table topics... the pervious time I was in KL, it was sexual escapades, this time around: things you say in bed.

While having lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant, to prove that he is right when saying that university professors are bad in bad, Keith suddenly acts out loud what a professor might say in bed: "Add friction! Higher velocity... YES! YES! EUREKA!!!" And if you know keith, you know "loud" when I say "loud". Even people from the table at the end of the restaurant were looking over. (Sometimes I wonder why these restaurants have no table when we go over, now it's starting to get obvious...)

A Jessism © 21062006