Friday, December 30, 2005

New Year Resolutions (I)

It seems like it was just a week ago that Amy, Ash, Keith and I had our New Year celebration party, where Amy taught us her "Mexican tradition" where we have to stuff them grapes down our throat when the clock strikes 12 on New Year Eve….

In less than 48 hours, we will be bidding farewell to 2005 and greet a brand new year.

2005 has been a good year. Not fabulous, not fantastic, just plain ol' good. It is also the year that I managed to achieve most of my New Year Resolutions. (Keyword: "most".) I went for a concert (Jay Chou); travel out of Malaysia (Singapore); got a new job (Cathay Cineplexes); got (another) new job with a higher salary (PHHP Marketing); and I'm-sure-there-are-a–couple-more-that-I-can’t-think-of-right-now.

Since 2005 is coming to an end, it could only mean that I need a new set of New Year Resolutions. Speaking of which, is it just me? Doers any of you still do New Year Resolutions? Hmm… Anyways, here are five that I need to get done by the end of June 2006. Let’s see how many of them I can get done by then:

1. Take a trip
This excludes Malaysia, Singapore, and Brunei. I'm thinking either Athens, or one of those Spanish speaking countries. So I kinda need to…

2. Brush up my Spanish
My Spanish is going from bad to very the utmost baddest. If I ever want to bag my Latino, I better start polishing my Spanish.

3. Visit my grandparents at least once every two months
They are getting older each year and I feel that it's my duty as their grandson to visit them more often. I really missed them a lot. Which is why no matter what it takes, I need to remind myself…

4. NOT to skip CNY this year!
No matter how much those darn plane tickets cost, I need to go back on CNY and do that reunion dinner thingy with them! Even if it means that I have to pay RM700 to those bloodsucking people at Malaysian Airlines!

5. Get an iPod
Let's just say that my trusty Sony Discman is not so trustworthy anymore, and it's time for a new and reliable replacement to take its place.

Well, that's all for now. I'll continue the second part of this in June 2005. Happy New Year everybody!

A Jessism © 30122005

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

ChR|StMaS |n S|nGaP0R3


Celebrated my first Christmas away from Malaysia. Though it is Singapore is not very far away from here, I have to say that it's an experience that I won't forget.

Singapore is a beautiful place during Christmas. Unfortunately, the countdown to the 25th was very much disappointment. There were no stage performance at Orchard, the roads weren't close, and some of the policemen were rude.

The people that were at Orchard on Christmas Eve were a bunch of crazy people that I would love to see again if I choose to go back there for another crazy street party. But it is sad to say that minus an official countdown, it just doesn’t feel right at all.

The people of Singapore do seem to take Christmas seriously. Apart from the colourful decorations all around, everywhere you go, you’ll hear people wishing you "Merry Christmas".

Kudos to the staff at McDonalds'! All the staff there seemed like they are getting a triple pay raise for every customer they smiled at. And do note that their smile is not one of those "my boss forced me to smile" look, but more of a "I'm very happy to see you even though I have to work on Christmas Eve" look. For a moment there, it made me feel so bad knowing that they have to work while I'm about to party the night away.

I also discovered something rather interesting while I was having my meal at Mc-D.

Apparently, Singapore has something call the GEMS program going on. It's a program where you have the opportunity to say a big thank you to the person who served you by giving them a thank you note, as well as your name and your contact number, just in case they would like to call you out for a date.

I'm not BS-ing you here. It's true! Besides letting you saying thank you, the Thank You card comes with a space for you to fill in your contact number. The way I see it, it's just another way for me to boldly give my number to the cute guy behind the counter without the fear of facing rejection. I wrote mine contact number down on the card... but unfortunately I was too chicken shit to walk up to the cute guy behind the counter to pass him the card.

Well, I can't wait to go back there again on New Year's Eve. I hope New Year's Eve will be better than what I experienced during Christmas.

A Jessism © 27122005

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Right Or Wrong?

I received a two SMS from my housemates in JB earlier today. My take is that I'm partially wrong, but I'll you be the judge of what is going on:

His first SMS was: Hi Jess. Please make sure to switch off light before u go to work. I found so many of long hair at the sofa area and balcony. Have a COURTESY to clean it up.

My thoughts: I am on Christmas holiday. What he doesn't know is I haven't been home for the past two days. If he's referring to the "light" that I left on before I go to work ages ago, then I'm sorry, it's my bad. Heck, I've switched off the running fan for a couple of time when I wake up in the morning and saw that there's no one there but I didn't say anything. I didn't SMS him asking him to remember to switch off the fan next time before he sleeps. I thought that's what housemates are supposed to do? If one of us forgets something the rest helps out, right?

As for the hair on the floor: well, sorry if I'm the only one in the house who happens to sweep the living room floor and kitchen and mop it every other night and so happens that I don't sweep under the sofa and out the balcony. I will clean it up when I get back tonight and make sure I'll remember to clean those places the next time I choose to clean the house up.

But that's not all. Less than a minute later, another SMS came in: And please throw away the trash when necessarily. We live under the same roof and walk from same door.

My thoughts: Noted. Yes, I admit that I seldom take out the trash, so I will take the trash out every night before I sleep; Mop and sweep the floor every other night and remember to sweep and mop under the sofa and balcony; while I'm at it, why don't I help you clean up the dirty dishes and cooking pans that you "courteously" left lying in the sink since three weeks ago and haven't clean it up?

Sigh… I thought that living together with housemates we are supposed to compromise on certain things. Yes, I do admit that sometimes all of us might have our differences and all. But what you don't see doesn't mean that I never do. Yes, I seldom take the trash out, but seeing hair near the sofa doesn't necessary mean that I never have the "courtesy" to clean up the house. So the floor miraculously become sparkling clean when he comes home? Or perhaps he doesn't notice that at all when he comes home?

This housemate of mine works during the night and I work during the day. When I wake up to go to work around 8.30am, he's still asleep. But the sky, I believe, should already be bright enough for me to see my way and I don't need to switch on the lights. Okay, so let's say hypothetically that it's a rainy day and I forget to switch off the lights, and if you see it and help me switch it off once or twice, it's still ok, right?

What I don't get is: I’ve been away. Not just away, I'm miles away from JB and it's been for TWO days. (I'm in KL at the moment.) So how is it possible for him to SMS me now about not switching off the lights when I'm not in JB at all. If it's from ages ago, why didn't he tell me when he had the chance? Why wait until today, right? Could it be that he accidentally switched it on while I'm away and forgot that he did it?

Ask my ex-housemates in KL and they can tell you that I'm the one who would always make sure that all the lights are switched off and all plugs are being plugged off when I leave for holidays. We are all humans and we all do make mistakes from time to time. Let's say that if I have had overlooked the lights before I left for my holidays two days ago, then it's my fault and I’m really sorry.

The whole reason why I wrote this entry is because I feel like I did no wrong, but yet I received two SMS saying otherwise. My instinct tells me that if I reply to him and say that it’s not me, he would flipped and would thought that I'm denying the errors I've did. So I chose not to reply the SMS and chose to explain it to him when I eventually see him in person.

Am I doing the right thing? I dunno.

Another Jessism © 22122005

Friday, December 16, 2005

Latino

I love Spanish. I love the language, I love the food, I love the songs… Of course, nothing beats a hot Latino whispering all sort of romantic gibberish to you in Spanish. Even if you don't understand it, it's still a turn on.

You see, my theory is that if you speak Spanish, you'll automatically get 10 points on the score chart. You've got blue eyes, another 10 points. Of course, if you don't have any of the two but you look like you just pop out of a Bel Ami poster, I'll still give you that full 100. Okay, so I'm shallow. Deal with it! Besides, who isn't shallow these days?!

Anyway, let's not get sidetracked: Latino.

Lately, I've been talking to this person who happens to hablar español. Not only that, this bugger no habla Ingles. Thank goodness entiendo un poco. Now, maybe it's the language, maybe it's the culture, maybe it's the way they talk, or maybe they're just born to be gorgeous looking people with a talent to make you fall head over heels for them? Heck, maybe it's just me. But I'm telling you, this person really never fails to make my heart melts every time I read the replies.

To be honest, no entiendo what the bugger is saying most of the time – and the replies are mostly 3 to 4 A4 pages long! – but thanks to the help of online dictionaries, I managed to figure out parts of what I don't get… which is almost everything.

I don't know how this person does it, but get this: almost everything that is on the 2 (or 3) pages of A4 pages are something yuk ma sweet like "debes saber que ahí estoy contigo, para las buenas y para las malas también", or "quiero ser un apoyo para ti en todo momento que sea necesario"… with phrases like that, in every line, every paragraph and every page, how can you not wonder how the hell they managed to think of all that? Actually by the time your brain actually came up with that question, you've already fall so deeply for them, and it's too late to care about how they could be able to think about all that. Even if those were ripped out of a Spanish version of Shakespeare's play, I wouldn't even give a damn. I want more!

(For those of you who doesn't understand what the heck those Spanish words meant, feel free to cut and paste them into any online dictionary.)

A Jessism © 16122005

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Commercial Vs. Reality

This posting is inspired by an ad I saw while watching Channel 5 during the weekend.

The ad was for a detergent. Set at a crowded shopping complex, a lady who's walking with a kid, got pulled over by detergent sales girl. Showing no interest at what she's selling, she tried to walk away. Like all detergent commercials, before she could walk away, the sales girl poured soy sauce on her. Unlike normal commercial, this lady looked pissed and was hissing at her: "Are you crazy?" (Great acting I'm telling you, it looks like she was about to slap that sales girl!) Then the sales girl proceeds to take off this lady's shirt, which the shirt conveniently slips off the lady's body and miraculously had another layer of t-shirt inside. the sales girl then added ketchup and etc. onto the shirt before cleaning it up for her – showing her how "powerful" the detergent is.

Instead of making me feel like dashing out of my front door to grab a bottle of the detergent, the ad really got me thinking: Which auntie in the right mind would be wearing two layers of clothes and go shopping with her kid? Then proceed to let a sales girl pour soy sauce on her and still not rip the sales girl into pieces?

If a sales girl really did pour something on any auntie's shirt in a shopping complex and wanted to show them how her detergent work, there's a high chance that: A) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, or B) the auntie will bitch-slap the sales girl, then proceed to make a big scene at the shopping complex, and demand the sales girl to apologize before asking for the manager to let her take her groceries home for free, or she'll sue the shopping complex.

Then there's another ad on floor cleaner, which was also on Channel 5. (Damn… it seems like I'm really hooked on Channel 5 lately…)

This blindfolded husband crawls on the floor trying to catch his baby, while the wife is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. Then Husband suddenly turns up to the wife and ask: "Did you clean the floor today?" (Only this question alone is enough for 40% of married couples to file for divorce.)

Here comes the best part: The wife actually replied, "No."!!

My gut instinct tells me that she's a lazy bitch who just sits around reading magazines while her husband crawls on the dirty, stinking floor. But the ad proceeds to saying that by using their floor cleaner their floor would look squeaky clean and smells clean for a long time. Erm... right… So my guess is that this ad is targeted at lazy housewives around the world? They should just bloody go ahead and say: "If you're lazy to clean your floor, buy our floor cleaner!"

Let's face it. In reality any husband no sane husband would actually ask their wife: "did you clean the floor today?" It's like saying: "the floor stinks, you lazy bitch!", which will usually lead to a major argument with the possibility of a divorce attached. Heck, even if the husband is stupid enough to ask that question, and any sane wife wouldn’t be answering "no". Let’s just say that even if the wife is hypothetically insane enough to say "no", my guess is that they would already be screaming and throwing things at each other!

My favourite is the diaper ad: "The easy diaper for busy mothers". Yeah right... Why sugarcoat it when they can just fucking say: "The easy diaper for LAZY mothers"? It still rhymes!

Whatever happened to all those honest and great ads that actually make sense? Don't they make them anymore?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Another Brainless Shit!

"Human Lives = Old TV"

Believe it or not, that's the new equation in town, courtesy of an idiotic "grandfather" in the Department of Civil Aviation.

A few weeks back we have an arse who insulted tourists and foreigners. When he’s asked to apologies, he sounded very insincere, and said something like: "if you think I'm wrong then I'm sorry. BUT I don’t think I said anything wrong, yada, yada, yada…"

Today, making the front page of The Sun, we have another idiot who is comparing air planes safety to TV. An excerpt from the newspaper article is as follows:

PETALING JAYA: Department of Civil Aviation (DCA) director-general Datuk Kok Soo Chon, while admitting that the air traffic control systems are outdated, stressed that they are safe.

"I agree that the system has a lifespan but just because (for example) your TV is guaranteed for 10,000 hours, that does not mean you have to change it at 10,001," he said in response to complaints from air traffic controllers of old and faulty equipment.

(Yada, yada, yada, bla, bla, bla….)

He said most air crashes were due to pilot error or the air-worthiness of the carriers.

On the near-miss between the Malaysian and Indian planes, Kok said the picture painted by the union was exaggerated.
(Is it because nobody died, so it's considered as "exaggerated"?)

"I admit there have been incidents of planes breaching the 10 nautical mile rule, but that does not mean any danger," he said, adding that in London's Heathrow Airport there is at least one such incident a day.

Kok said where the breach is caused by the controller, he will be sent for retraining immediately. (Yada, yada, yada, bla, bla, bla….)


Maybe it's about time an IQ test is imposed to filter out all these idiots . How brainless can you get?! You're comparing something that carries hundreds of lives on board to a TV in your living room?!! Do you even realize what you said?! Does this mean that human lives to you is like a TV set in your living room?

Yes, we don't change our TV after 10,001 hours because if our TV blows, we can always buy a new one. And the most important of all: NOBODY DIES! If you, pen****, don't discard your old system, hundreds of people might die! And who’s going be held responsible? Wait, don’t answer, I know, I think you've mentioned it somewhere just now…

Oh yes, YOU… are blaming it on the air traffic controller, the pilots and what not. How irresponsible can you get, you **** de la ****!! We're talking about human lives here you dumb fuck!

TV can be replaced, human lives can't!

An original Jessism © 07122005

Monday, December 05, 2005

What Is "Love"?

What is this thing call "love"? It has no shape, no smell, no taste; you can't see it, touch it, taste it, so what the hell is it?! Did someone just wake up one day and suddenly decided: "Hey, you know what?! I don't know what I'm feeling, but I think I’m gonna call it 'love'"?

While we're at it, who invented the word "love" anyway?

Everybody keep saying it every day: "I love you", "I love you too", "I love this", "I love that"… but what is "love"?! If you like something so much, why don't you just say "I like this very much"? "I like you" sounds like a nice phrase, so why are we substituting that word with another friggin' "L" word?!

Everybody keeps saying "I love you" to their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/ husband. Let me ask you something: What makes you "love" that person so much that you can't live without him or her?

Oh c'mon! Don’t give me that bullshit about his/her personality, how he/she treats you, how he/she cared for you, how good he/she is in bed, or how gorgeous he/she looks! Does this mean that when the gorgeousness fades away, when he/she is unable to satisfy you enough in bed, you won't "love" him/her anymore?!

What happens if you wake up one day to find that your boyfriend/girlfriend has turned into a girl/guy? Why you still love the person the way you did? Or just because you two share the same gender and you suddenly decided that you won’t "love" the person anymore? It’s still the same person you’ve been "loving" all this while. Didn't you just said earlier that you would "love" this person no matter what? Well HELLO!! This IS the "no matter what" part. So what’s going to happen now?

Okay, maybe that would be a little far-fetched. But how about this: People always say "in sickness and in health". What happens if your "other half" told you he/she has got HIV/AIDS? What then?

Give it a thought.

In conjunction with the World AIDS Day, I would like to urge all of you out there to make a difference. People who are living with HIV/AIDS are not any difference than us. They still deserve the same loving, care, and treatment any one of us deserves. The HIV/AIDS virus knows no race, age, or gender. It can infect anyone, anytime.

HIV/AIDS DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE; WHY SHOULD YOU?

Help those who are in need, and you can make a difference!

Support World AIDS Day

An original Jessism © 01122005