Pledge Of Honour
More young people are having sex, and starting earlier, too. One group is out to stop this trend.
Stories by S.S. YOGA
VIDEO is a powerful medium especially for the younger generation. They are, after all, the MTV generation, who have been raised on a diet of quick, punchy infotainment. And everyone knows that they would more readily listen to their peers than their parents or other adults, who may come across as being preachy.
Joshua Liong: ‘Our message is one of abstinence.’
[The minute that "a" word is mentioned, you've lost your targeted readers! And I've probably lost 50% of my readers!]
So, if a Malaysian teenager or young adult were to hear another youth (albeit an American) talking about his personal experience on video, it would have more impact, right?
And that experience could be about physical intimacy – as the video shown is part of a No Apologies workshop facilitated by Focus on the Family (FOTF). FOTF was founded in the United States in 1977. FOTF Malaysia was set up in 1988. The No Apologies programme was established in the United States in 1998 and took off in this country in 2003, with a youth group in Petaling Jaya being the first batch of workshop participants.
“We started out with colleges – and we are still active in some of them – where it is part of the curriculum. Our message is one of abstinence. Before the video (is shown), we explain what certain key words that keep coming up mean, as viewers might not be familiar with them. Words like abstinence, STD, pre-marital sex,” explains FOTF Malaysia’s curriculum manager, Joshua Liong Ta Shing.
[The words that Joshua Liong needs to be exposed to: SEX and ONS! And a famous video genre: 'porn'.]
In a nutshell, the programme advocates abstinence from sex, until marriage. Programme participants pledge to say nobye to sex till marriage and to remain faithful to their marriage partner.
[Another word they need to learn: DIVORCE. And something certain religion allows: POLYGAMY. Besides, what's going to stop a hormone raging teenager from havig sex? Are they going to put on a chastity belt on all the participants and throw away the keys? Or promote self-pleasuring over having sex? Also, what's going to happen when this group of people who took the pledge broke it?! It's not like the others in the group is going to know about it! Even if they do, so what?! Are they going to get the penis off, or pour cement into the vagina?!]
According to Liong, participants comes from various backgrounds, religions and races. (The programme does not touch on religion but stresses the consequences of not taking the pledge.) FOTF was commissioned by the Education Ministry to conduct the workshops in schools. There are also workshops for colleges and other community or social groups.
[So what ARE the consequences?! Why is it not mentioned here?! Is it just me or does something really smell fishy here?]
For the latter, the programme module has not changed much since its inception, although there are now seven instead of six units. The workshop is conducted over two days, and participants are charged a nominal fee. For schools, the workshop is condensed into six hours and conducted on a normal school day.
“No parents are allowed to accompany their children while the workshop is being conducted. Initially some parents were not comfortable with that so we explained that if they were there, their children might not be comfortable and (would) not open up and be honest about their feelings and expectations,” reveals Liong.
[Are they going to do a mass hypnosis on the participants or something like that? Or brainwash them?]
The course workbook is available in three languages: Bahasa Malaysia, English and Chinese. It is used at the workshop to gauge the participants’ response to various situations.
[Course workbook?! You have got to be kidding me!! What is the workbook going to be filled with?! Pictures of how people NOT have sex?! Or instructions on how to pleasure yourself when you have an urge for sex?! I can just visualize it! An anti-Kama Sutra!]
“Sex can be defined in many ways by different people, so we help them understand what it all means and the impact of having sex before marriage, and the consequences. We look at pregnancies, and sexually transmitted diseases, with focus on HIV and AIDS. We also say that using contraceptives is beside the point and that there is also a psychological and emotional price to pay. There is no such thing as ‘safe’ sex. We talk about peer pressure and self-respect, and how it’s better to say no to a boyfriend or girlfriend than to lose your self-respect,” adds Liong.
[Impact of having sex before marriage? More experience in bed and more control of ejaculation time (for men). It is also known as PRACTICE! Go get a dictionary, please!]
[Just when we are trying to fucking hard to promote safe sex, this idiot is out educating the youth of tomorrow about having "no such thing as safe sex"! Get a brain! Even people who abstain from sex can get HIV/AIDS! Things this idiot needs to learn: blood transfusion, drug addicts, needle sharing, born with HIV!!]
He says that they don’t use fear but give participants the facts and the skills to handle the issue. They also look at how movies and TV shows portray sex as part of the culture of youth and that it is acceptable.
Participants then undertake a lot of role-playing and use the new information in projects, such as poster making.
[Right... "role playing" at an abstinence group....]
While the programme does not discourage dating, its definition of dating is different from what is widely understood. “There should be not any form of physical intimacy, not even hugging or kissing, as that could lead to further physical affection. And we only encourage dating in groups, not as a couple,” states Liong firmly.
[So let me get this straight. You are allowed to date but there "should not be any form of physical intimacy"?! Is it just me who sees the potential of having an increase in sex crime?!]
[And what nonsense is this "dating" but NOT a "couple" thing? Are they promoting open relationship now?!]
At the end of the workshop, participants are given a pledge card (the size of a credit card). It has two portions: one for an adult to endorse and the other for the participant to keep.
Post-programme monitoring is not carried out but if participants have any problems, they are encouraged to contact FOTF.
[Do you know what this sounds like? A support group almost similar to SAA. Sexual Addicts Anonymous! That's what the participants from this group is going to join if they abstain far too long from sex!]
(The workshops are open to those aged between 12 and 24. For more information, visit FOTF’s website at XXXXXX.XXX.XX or call XX-XXXXXXXX. The FOTF is having a Youth Abstinence Walk today at Millenium Park in SS2, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, from 9.30am to 12.30pm. All are welcome to join in.)
Abstinence walk?!
A very wise friend of mine once told me that "it's NOT pre-marital sex if you don't plan to get married." And I so very totally agree with her! That's not pre-marital sex! It's call PRACTICE! What happens if you're too nervous during your very first "first time" and you have a premature ejaculation?! To prevent situations like this from happening, practice does make perfect!
Ash once told me that abstinence is just an excuse for people who can't get laid. So if the saying holds any truth in it, it means to say that this is just a group for a bunch of losers.
The thing with this abstinence nonsense is that there are tons of loopholes. Abstinence is NOT going to prevent STD and abstinence is definitely NOT going to prevent HIV/AIDS! Get a brain, people!
The way I see it, this is what going to happen to those who join this group:
Situation 1:
Since the group is joined by a bunch of hormone-raging teens, they are going to end up of screwing each other at the end of the day and break the pledge.
Situation 2:
Those who joined this group will soon regret taking the pledge and wanted out! The only thing is, they only tell yu how to join. The fine print of how you will never be able to leave the group is not clearly stated.
Situation 3:
The participants who take on the pledge, especially the guys, will end up being unfaithful bastards/sluts or sex addicts! Why? After pending up that much sexual energy, once they have the taste of the forbidden fruit, they are sure to want more. The next group I'm foreseeing that these people will join in the future: SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous).
Honestly, I don't see how this thing is going to work. It's really strange how the Malaysian government are approving this. A bunch youth who supposedly has NO sort of sexual experience whatsoever are allowed to gather and talk about sex without the presence of any adult?! Isn't this like the blind leading the blind?! Even if it's an "experienced" adult conducting the course, how "pure" is this person? You can't preach when you're not a follower, right? But how know do we know that this person is doing what he/she preaches?
I'm no virgin no more and the way I see it? Life is short. Live it! Don't waste time abstaining. For all you know, you might die tomorrow and regret not having the chance of doing "it". Live life without regret! Just remember to play it safe!
To end this posting, I'd like to quote a line from a Baz Lurhman movie:
"Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias!"
(life lived in fear is a life half-lived)
(life lived in fear is a life half-lived)
- jessism © 26072006 -
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