Useless

My tears had run dry; my eyes hurt. I know crying doesn't help but that's slowly becoming a habit in the past days (and nights).

I feel like a butterfly being pinned down alive. I wanted to do something about it; I know I need to get away but I couldn't move. I feel that all that's left of me right now is an empty shell. I've lost everything. my hopes, my dreams... everything!

I know I'm supposed to let go and move on but I can't. Deep down inside I still hope that all this is just an extended nightmare. One that I will wake from and things will be better again. Will things be better again?

I lie awake in bed, staring into nothingness. I miss you so much it hurts. But I couldn't make myself to pick up the phone. I' afraid. Afraid of the silence. Afraid of the things you might or might not say. Afraid that you might tell me that all these that is happening are real... My world would end. I couldn't afford that.

I still love you. I misses you so much words can't describe. Why can't you see? Why do you have to do this to me?

Lying here, I die a little more as the minute goes by, praying hard that you would come around. Then it hit me: you wouldn't care no more. Why should you? There is a whole new life waiting for you; a family to start... while I'm just a passerby who probably bares no significant.

The end is here. The curtain falls. The love which I had much hope in is gone and there is nothing left that I could do to safe it...

- jessism © 10062007 -