Sometimes I really don't understand why is it when there are choices to be made, the wrong ones always seem like a better choice to you?
I know you wanted to be filial but is this really the way to solve everything?
We had our share of minor misunderstandings in between but did you notice? We have never fought or argue over anything serious matter. All this while i was telling myself how happy I would be if I was able to spend my life with this person...little did I know that all it was was just castles in the clouds.
Waking up this morning, I felt lost. I can't help but wonder if all that happened in the past year were real: that karaoke room we met; lunch at the Japanese restaurant; the song recorded for me; the 11 roses I bought for you; the nights you accompanied me when I was working late... the countless memories of you and I kept floating around in my mind. Were any of them real? It's all a blur now.
My heart aches. My eyes swollen.
There are smses from my mom trying to reassure me that everything will be alright.
Will it? I don't know.
I do know that everything will never be the same again...
- jessism © 09062007 -
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5 comments:
U r right in saying that things will never be the same. But all you can look forward too now is better times ahead. I know that the light at the end of the tunnel seems far far far away, but you have friends to light up your way in the dark tunnel.
Be it baby steps, but take a step forward and with no regret of a single day you and him have made found memories of.
Hugs
Everyone kept telling me things like "things will be alright", there are other fishes in the sea", and yada yada yada... I know all of you meant well. But things are not alright!
My heart feels like it's about to explode anytime now! I've lost all motivation and will to do anything at all. Tears kept rolling down my face uncontrollably. Do I sound "alright" at all?! As much I wanted to let go, I can't.
What happens if I don't want any "other fishes in the sea"? I just want my mouse!!!
Why can't the world be fair to us?!
I just wanted to be with the guy I like! Is that too much to ask for?!?!
We arent kid at all, dont u realise tat nothing is fair in this world, especially love, there is no return guarantee in love, when u said "Why cant the world be fair to us?!", did u notice tat world always not fair to everybody, i can say tat i do a lot, did i get back something i hope to, NO! i get nothing. Now i gonna ask,"did world be fair to me?"
So, wat can i do???
Playing-do whatever thing i like.
Laughing-when i get something funny
Crying-when im sad,disappointed,suffer,pain.
Eating-when i hungry
Sleeping-when i feel tired
Hug somebody-when i need
Live seriously-when i found tat im means to somebody else.
There's nothing I can say that you don't already know.
Just, when I get back and you're still feeling bad, just know that other people care about you and hope only the best for you.
Me included.
Of cause we dont want to move on. Of cause we dont want to hear the normal speaches that our friends give us in such situations like, ""things will be alright", there are other fishes in the sea".
That is only because we are used to our comfort zone. Lets face it. We just dont want to go thru the process of mending our heart and going out there to look for someone in the hopes tht the person we will meet will not break our heart.
I always wondered if the by-product of love is a broken heart, sadness, hate, endless nites cryinf, etc..why fall in love in the first place?
ITs alright to feel the way you feel right now and as friends, we can be here for you, but remember that friends have limits to. We can accept the mood you are in right now...but there will come a point where I will have to put my foot down and say, " Stop bitching and move on."
HUgs
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