Negarakuku

Instead of spending time trying to improve the safety and clean up the streets of Johore, the government is now busy hunting for a web singer/blogger nicked Namewee, after his song, Negarakuku, hit Malaysia by storm.

The thing is I really don't get this! A couple of days ago, our government released a killer who cold bloodedly murdered a girl. Then there's report of the government arresting bloggers under the Official Secrets Act (OSA)! It really got me thinking of where our country s heading. We're turning 50 in less than a month. That's half a century!!! But instead of going for the better, our country is falling backwards! Criminals walk. Bloggers arrested. And now, even web singer is on the wanted list!!! Doesn't this look like what was happening when the communist were in charge? "Obey what we say, or die?" Only in this version, it's more like "obey, or go to jail for the rest of your life."

For those of you, who are still blur and unaware about the incident with Namewee, this is the lo-down. A Chinese dude from Muar, Johore, released the video of a song he wrote about Malaysia on YouTube and the government got pissed and now the dude is wanted. The irony is Namewee was recognized and even credited when he released his first hit, "Muar Mandarin", on YouTube years ago. But now, the government is denouncing him because he wrote a song about this country?!


The Song That Started It All...:

If you cannot understand Mandarin, this is the translation of Negarakuku:

[Main Credits]
2007 Visit Malaysia Year Theme Song
I Love My Country
Negaraku

Singer: Namewee
Original Track: Malaysia National Anthem
Rap Lyrics: Namewee
Composer: Namewee
Director: Namewee, Ah Lai
Editing: Namewee

[Video]
Check it out, yo, yo, yo.... Negaraku, Negarakuku.

I love my country
Only with a country you'll have a home, only then there'll be me, standing here with the ability to sing loudly
Don’t be afraid, even though I curse all the time, my song is just like durian: hard and spiky
If you dare to open it and look inside, you will see the truth within
It can stink or it can smell nice, depending on the type of nose you have

Our police are called "Mata" because they have very sharp eyes
When every New Year comes they'll be working extra hard, holding pens, but they will rarely give you a ticket
Because they are very thirsty and they need to drink tea or even black coffee
Want to add sugar?
If you add sugar, their mouths will be very sweet and smile at you, when you're leaving, they will even go "tata"

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku, rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju.

This phenomenon doesn't need any improvement, neither does it need strengthening
The police and the people working close together with just a cup of coffee to keep our relationship temperate
I like that very much, at least I won't go home with a ticket
My dad would sure be pissed off and I'll be fucked up
With no car to drive what can I do? This is too much!
Without a car, how do I go out and have fun?
Without a car, how do I have outdoor sex?
Without a car, how do I go see transvestites?

This country, I love it very much
Every 5am, there's even morning call to wake me up
Sometimes a few of them will sing together, it's like a love duet
With their voice ululating it's like R&B
Even though sometimes they sing out of tune, even though sometimes they even sing until their voices break
Sometimes the sound might sound like cockerels, but they wake up earlier than cockerels
Just so that we can know the time and get ready for school and work

Don't blame the government for only taking care of the Bumiputeras
Don't complain that we do not receive equal rights
Because only this way we can prove that we Chinese are not afraid of hard work
Only this way we can train ourselves to find solutions during hard times
Don't feel weird about their standards because this only shows that we are capable
Without the special treatments our children won't be spoilt and become too dependant
Don't believe? Just look and see! There are still some who are not weaned off breast-feeding

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan. Raja kita selamat bertakhta.

Those who hide in government departments are even better
Whatever they do, they do it slowly
Even when people who are queuing are already cursing "CHAU CIB@I!", they are still free and easy, they don't care
Sometimes they even bring their cakes out
When they eat their nyonya cakes, you will still have to queue up
Even if you really do curse "CHAU CIB@I!", it's ok, because the guard on the side is always daydreaming, he won't bother you

They wrap their heads up; slowly walk, slowly cross the road
When you drive pass, you have to be careful and let them pass through
The most important thing is to live happily and comfortably
Don’t be like the Chinese, working so hard very day, stressing themselves out
We cannot NOT admire this kind of spirit because this is their attitude in life

In this song, I only say good things
I believe those of you who are pissed at me will disagree
The world is peaceful, full of hope, no one is hurt, and there are no riots
You are classy, you are elegant, your shit is fragrant and you don't curse
You guys are high class, every day is all about romancing and listening to songs by Michael Wong
But the guy has already feld to Taiwan

It's very tough for private school graduates to get into local universities
But actually we don’t have to be pissed about this
It is actually government's very noble planning
They want us to explore the world, to find new opportunities
To learn things, then come back and repay the country
This is plan is so great, I can't criticize it
Around the world you can see Malaysia's children, it's as though they are refugees, ain't it fun?

Malaysia is having Visit Malaysia Year in Year 2007
The Chinese culture is brought out and paraded but the government doesn't even care about private school students
The certificate can be thrown into the dump
Just like me, graduated and went to Taiwan, learn new things and get ready to return home to repay my country

I stood on the streets of Taipei with my guitar but my mouth still sings:
Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan. Raja kita Selamat bertakhta

Jessism On Negarakuku:
This song is sarcastic but one really can't deny that his R&B version of "Negaraku" is superb and his song holds truth. Malaysia is plagued with police that would block and extort money out of innocent drivers at times. I'm sure I'm not the only one in Malaysia who experienced this before! And of course, there's the ever-going debate about the university quota. The so-called Bumiputeras were given a very higher percentage, while other races in the country were given a very low entrance percentage. Malaysia kept stressing on "satu negara, satu bangsa", but they are the one who are practicing the biggest discrimination nationwide. If we are really "satu bangsa", as they say we are, why not abolish the university quota? Why not given all Malaysians a 5% discount when buying properties? And stop calling Malays the "Bumiputeras"!!!

The government sector? Who are we trying to kid?! They are slow, inefficient and a waste of taxpayers' money! If they could work a tad bit faster, be friendlier, and get their job done right, this song wouldn't even be online in the first place! As for security guards? I think whether they're there or not really doesn't make any difference! They are always old uncles who can't even finish a 100m run, or men who are so fat they can't even finish a 100m walk!!

The thing with private school graduates is also true. Their certificate is as good as nothing! With the absurd quota the government set, students with good results are not able to get into good universities, as the place were already taken up by idiots who failed their exams but were given a spot in the university because of the government's stupid quota! No wonder most Chinese families sent their children to countries such as Singapore or Taiwan to further their studies and most chose not to come back. Even our own local singers have to flee to countries like Taiwan to establish their careers!


Jessism On Malaysia: A Conclusion
Our government kept stressing that one shouldn't abuse the freedom of speech. But the thing is: If you haven't done of the things that people said you did, why worry?! I'm really puzzled why the government aren't spending their time trying to make Johore a better place to live in but spending their time releasing cold blodded killers on to the streets and wasting their time on songwriter who writes the truth?!

I love this country. But until the day the government stop running this country like a communist, stop the racial discrimination and admit their mistakes, this nation will never be able to reach the "satu negara, satu bangsa" thingy they wanted… Then again, are we really that stupid to see that it is just an empty promise that the government will never make come true?!

All I can say is: Everyone who are born in Malaysia are Malaysians! Bumiputeras, or not, we deserve the right to be treated equally!

- jessism © 30072007 -

Test Result

I know everyone's been very anxious to know about this for weeks. Since I was too busy with my magazine deadline, and with the drama that is going with my life, my hands are tied.

I got my blood test result back th day after my birthday, cause Kenny thinks that it's bad luck to get a bloody result back on the day of your birthday.

Getting the test was nerve wrecking. I think the girl behind the counter had her share of fun of making me wait for ages while she took her own sweet time to go through the computer and print out my test result. Yes, it's the wonderful world of information technology where all information are available online. I suddenly remembered "The Net" - if some crack-head hacker would want to screw up my life, all the person needs to do is just change my test result and I'd be on my way to eternal damnation.

Anyway, back to my story: The counter girl took her own sweet time to print out the test result, went back into her office to look for a folder, comes back out, and did God-knows-what for close to an hour or so... Ok, so I'm exaggerating, it ain't that long, it was probably about 5 to 10 minutes. But it sure felt like forever while I was waiting! Two hours Right after she was done with all the whatever-the-heck-she-was-doing, she came to me and told me that she's going to explain my test result for me.

Finally! My results!

Before I go on, I definitely have to share that I truly think that this girl has talent to be a game show or reality show host! If any of you out there reading this is a TV producer, and is looking for someone to host your show, look no further! Go to the BP Lab in Sea Park!

After sitting down with me, she took my application slip out and went: "This is the list of test you took. Your test is for yada, yada, bla, bla... and your payment is *bleep* *bleep*..." For a moment there, I felt like I was on a hospital version of "America's Next Top Model" with Tyra about to tell me that I fail in one of my blood test result: "You took 13 tests and today one of it, you fail. Which one is it?! We'll be back after the break." At that point, I really feel like slapping her and snatch the result over. Thank god she managed to get to the test result before I liak-kong (Translation: Go bonkers).

According to the result, I surprisingly pass all basic tests. My blood count are close to normal, mostly missing by one point where the numbers should be. My liver and kidney are functioning well, thank god! Free from all types of hepatitis, but since I don't have the antibody for it, I was advised to take the shot. And then she turned to me. With a smile, she said, "It also says here that your cholesterol level is slightly higher than normal. But don't worry, just watch what you eat."

Cholesterol level "slightly higher than normal"?? Slightly?! How can it be "slightly"?! It's either it's high or it's not, right?! And how can I not worry. I have a family history for crying out loud!

While all the OS was going on in my head, the girl went on. I didn't exactly catch what she said after that. I only heard her saying that I'm STD-free. That was a relieve! Then came the most crucial one: HIV. I know I haven't been sleeping around with different partners but with my prone to accidents and cuts everywhere I go... one wouldn't know. Like I said, the girl has a potential of being a game show host. the minute we got there, she started going all mysterious, as if I can't read the report saying that it's "Non-Reactive". She started attempting to explain to me what the heck is HIV, as if the rest of the world haven't already known, where she stuttered her way through it and blush every now and then. In the end, I couldn't stand it and told her I know what HIV is and ugred her to get on with the result.

The morale of this story? Go get your blood tested at your family clinic. Yes, it's a bit expensive, but at least you can avoid facing an annoying game-show host wannabe who stutters away while trying to tell you what's NOT wrong with you.

- jessism © 18072007 -

Puzzle

[Note: What you are about to read might sound like a summary for the Malaysian version of "Melrose Place".]

Darrel once said that I am absurdly patient when it comes to love. Why absurd? Because I am able to look pass all the shitty things they do and forgive them for it, even if the bugger is in the wrong. You know what? He's right! I'm an idiot when it comes to relationship! I'll give the person my everything and hope that he does the same for me but in the end, I just ended up getting hut by the said person. Although I always say that I will not let anybody change me, I will still try to change myself for him.

Being in a relationship with Kenny for the past ten months really helped train my patience and control my temper. But like I always say: Just know that I'm a very patient person; don't try to test it.

Honestly, it's been a very crazy month. Work is not going all too smoothly, boss is giving me crap, magazine deadline was two days ago and the designers are still not done with the designs... But something kept me going: Kenny, after all the drama we went through in June, got a job in KL and moved in with me on the 8th of July. The week started out great. It's good to have someone to go home to everyday. Since he was out of a job for almost a month prior to this, him and his car are practically living off me these days.

Because it's Kenny's first day at work on Monday, I thought it would be nice to have a hearty dinner with him on Sunday evening, so we went to the Kuchai Lama Food Court and I ordered a table full of food – enough to feed 5 people, or more. Just when we are about to reach the dinner place, Kenny told me that Lilian will be catching the 12am bus over. When I asked why, he said that she's here to help him dye his hair. I didn't say anything. I just nodded and said ok. Lilian got to KL at 5am in the morning. Kenny and I dragged our sleepy arses out of bed and went to get her at Puduraya. She came, helped him do his hair, I went back to sleep. When Kenny woke me up, it was already 8am.

I messaged Kenny early in the morning to see how he's doing on his first day of work and all, and when he got off work, he stopped by my office to tell me how great his day at work was and even offered to send me home everyday, since our working hour ends almost about the same time. Happy? I felt like I'm the happiest man in the world. Yes, it's so very easy to make Jess happy.

Since Lilian got here early in the morning, her stuff were in my room. So after dinner, she followed me and Kenny back to my apartment to get her stuff and proceeded to ask Kenny to escort her to Verlyn's apartment block. I offered and asked if Kenny wanted me to accompany him and he said no. Since we haven't really slept the night before, I went straight to bed after they left.

Kenny woke me up around midnight. He was clearly sobbing when he crawled into bed. He then asked me if I really love him. I didn't answer the question. I had to ask him what happened for a couple of times before he asked me if I knew about him and Lilian. I said no.

I always knew that there was something going on between him and Lilian. When we first started our relationship, he asked if I would mind him having a very good girlfriend around and I said no. After all what are fag hags for? But ever since our relationship started, I began to notice that Kenny pays more attention to her and hangs out with her more than ever. Almost anything simple that I had to ask Kenny again and again, Lilian can get him to do it within a second. Whenever she's around, Kenny refuses to hold my hand, giving me the excuse that Lilian doesn't like him doing it in public. But whenever Kenny is with me, all we did was hold hands everywhere we went and we even kissed in public! So? Why do we have to hide it when Lilian's around?! The public never complained. Why is she?! Even my friends starting to doubt that she and Kenny are just "close friends", but I shrugged them off.

Kenny started explaining that when he broke off with me in June, he went out with Lilian, with hope that he would really fall for her and eventually turn straight. Realizing shortly after breaking up with me that he is unable to do it, Kenny begged for me to return to him, promising me that he will never ever do anything so stupid again. Of course, I didn't knew that he really did date her then. We spoke on the phone the whole night while I was in Genting. Then I asked if Lilian's parents knew that they were together and he said, yes. He told me that they found out "a few months ago". "A few months ago?! Didn't you just say that you two just started when we broke up in June?!" He kept quiet. I asked him a lot of questions. How he would feel if he were to be in my shoes? Would he forgive me? He said no.

We fought for about an hour about this. Then I saw my phone, which was on silent mode, ringing. It was Lilian. I answered. She asked how are things going with me and Kenny. And I said, not good. I really need to talk to her. So I asked for her to meet me by the pool and left the room.

We sat at the veranda near the pool and talked for more than 2 hours. It was the longest time I've ever spent talking to her. I found out that Kenny has been seeing her without my knowledge since December last year. Kenny even spent Valentine's Day with her and even took her for Valentine's Day dinner, when he told me that he was going home for dinner. He even got her a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers and a pair of platinum earrings! Me? I was alone in my JB home eating economy rice!!! Just that alone is enough for me to slap him silly and kick him out of the house!

She then proceeds to tell me that Kenny told her that it's her he loves. To make things worse, she told me that Kenny said that he's just using me. My heart sank straight to the bottom of the ocean. Is this is the same guy who I ordered imported DVD for during Christmas? Is this is the same guy that I spent all my savings when I was out of a job to buy him a wallet he was longing for for Valentine's Day? Is this the same guy who once gave me a lot of sweet memories? Heck, I don't even know if he's really the same guy I knew back in September last year!

She then asked when was the last time the two of us had sex. I told her: yesterday. She then told me that Kenny had told her that he hasn't had any relation with me since March, and that he has been giving me excuses not to do it. I am definitely certain those condoms-consuming five-times-a-night sessions for the past months are real!

In the end, we decided it's time we both talk to him and get the facts straight. We went back upstairs, woke him up and got to talking.

Apparently, since I wasn't supposed to know anything about their relationship, dealing with me was a walk in the park. But with her, he spun 101 lies. With the two of us there, he couldn't lie anymore. We ripped whatever that he was hiding from us into pieces. While we were doing this, all he could do was sit there quietly. When we were done, he told us that all the while, he wanted to go back on the straight path, because he doesn't want to disappoint his parents. So when I had a fight with him in December, his relationship with Lilian got closer and they eventually got together, without my knowledge. Both of them hid this from me.

I'm really what was going through his mind when he was consoling me, when i hit depression in January. Did he do it because he really loves me? Or did he do it out of guilt?

When I got the job offer in KL and was about to move, he told me that he would help me move. But it ended up that it was Verlyn who took time off work and helped me move. I can now clearly see what he busy with then. When I left JB, I cried my eyes out. My landlady was out of town, and my boyfriend didn't even send me off. I took a cab to the bus terminal and got myself a one-way ticket out of town.

I thought that things are definitely going to be over for the both of us. I can't remember what happened but Kenny and I got closer towards the end of April. And for Labors Day, I went back to JB to see him, as well as visit my landlady. My dear landlady was kind enough to offer me a place to stay but since I got there late I stayed over at his place during the first night but Lilian was told that I was never at his place. At the time they were already a couple. Even Kenny's parents knew about this. When Greg, Verlyn, Kenny, Lilian and I went clubbing that weekend, Kenny was supposed to send me back but it ended up that Greg sent me back because Kenny told me that he was drunk and couldn't drive and insisted that Lilian drove her home, which usually it was me who is the designated driver. I was pissed that night. I now found out that apparently, Lilian forbids him to send me back that night. And after I kissed Kenny goodnight, I was told that Lilian wiped his lips clean, saying that it's for "sanitary purposes".

I stopped going to JB in after May because of Kenny's decision to break up with me and I didn't notice this until someone told me that Kenny posted a blog entry about me. On June 10, I guess he couldn't handle the silence anymore, Kenny smsed me. So I called him to see if he's ok, which he obviously isn't. But still, he never mentioned that he wanted to get back together until 15 June, when I went to Genting with a friend of mine.

*****************************

When asked of what was really going through his mind, he told us that when he broke up with me, he really meant the words he said, that he didn't want to hurt me anymore. Soon after breaking up with me, he realized that he couldn't swing for the other party, so he begged for forgiveness and got back with me.

He told us that he wanted to break it off with Lilian the minute we got back together but didn't have the guts to do it. Because he felt that he was using Lilian all along and really didn't know how to face her with the truth. So days turned into weeks and into month, and there we were. Lilian is dead pissed at Kenny for lying to her all these while. I am raging mad at hime for suddenly going bi-curious, when he kept saying that he despise bisexuals! (Of course, I am also angry of the fact the cheated on me with another!)

Piecing the puzzle together, my conclusion was that whether I like to admit it or not, I love this selfish prick! There is no guarantee that he won't go behind my back again and there certainly is no guarantee that we will be able to be together forever. At this time, I ask: What would Darrel do? Darrel would probably rip off his head, put it in a juice extractor, boil the brain juice and feed the pulp to pigs, before chopping his body into pieces and use it as zoo animal food. Then again that's Darrel.

As much as I would want to lift my hand and slap him, I couldn't. Heck, I can't even remember when I last slapped anyone. I wanted to chase him out of the house so badly but I really don't have the heart to do it. Melvin said that I'm too kind. Am I? I'm not even sure if this is an act of kindness, sympathy, or love. Although I don't know how many days of this 10-month relationship did he really love me, but I do know that prior to finding all these out, I really do love him with all my heart.

Does he still deserve to be loved? No.

Do I still love him? Yes.

Should I give him another chance? I'm not sure... and I don't know. I'm really don't want to be hurt again at the end of the day.

Blood Test

It's been ages since I did my last full fledge blood test. I think the last one was about 3 to 4 years ago? Yeah, it's been that long!

Now you're all probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me. To be honest, there is NOTHING wrong with me. If I'm not mistaken every healthy person should get a proper medical check up about every 6 to 12 months? You know what they say about early detection. Since my family has a history of cancer, diabetes and high blood pressure, the more reasons for me to get my check up.

Watching my fasting time closely, I skipped my regular habit of having supper on Saturday night and went straight to bed. Jess being Jess, I overslept. I was supposed to head to the clinic early in the morning but when I got up it was already 11am. By the time I got done washing up and reach BP Lab, it was almost 12pm.

When I approached the girl at the counter, I told her that I wanted to do a complete blood test. Then she asked me which one. How many "complete blood tests" are there?! She then showed me two different charts, which looks a lot like menu of a cheap restaurant – the kind that they laminated the A4 printout and are already old and dog-eared.

She proceed to explain that the most commonly done test is something call "Profile D", which they give a full blood picture, liver function test, screening for Hepatitis B, as well as blood group screening and etc. Sounds like the one I wanted. Then she took out the other chart and continued on. "These are optional screenings for cancer, STD, HIV and Hepatitis A and C." Since when screening for five different types of cancer, STD, HIV and Hepatitis A & C become optional?!

Since the list is coded with analyte, she began explaining to me which is which and why should I take those "optional" tests. Something about CEA, PSA, CA12-5, CA15-3, which sounds to me like some secret CIA nuclear code. Then she came to HIV and then she paused for a bit. Not knowing what to say about it, and thinking that I'm some idiot who wouldn't know what that is, she went: "If you're sexu..." and then she stopped. I'm guessing that she wanted to say: if you're sexually active??? Yes I am. So?

When I looked up, her face was red. What the...? Doesn't she do this everyday?! Why still blush?! She then went, "oh, you know. It's a test for AIDS." Well, duh!!

At that point, I was thinking since I'm going to lose 10cc of blood anyway. I might as well do everything at one go instead of coming back again to lose another 10cc of blood later down the road. So, I decided to take all the "optional" tests and I'm now waiting for my results.

To be honest, I'm dead nervous. Not to say that I had unprotected sex or anything. But it's all about the what ifs. What if I tested positive for Hepatitis? What if my blood count comes back low again? Will I get high cholesterol count since I haven't been watching what I ate lately? All these will be revealed this weekend!

Do wish me luck!