Scent/Stench

Stench Evidence

My boyfriend calls me InuYasha, after that comic hanyou, because of my sensitivity towards smell.

To me, the things I smell can be divided into two major categories: scent (the one I like) and stench (the one I don't like). A few good example of the scents I like would be things like flowers, scented cancels, joss sticks, certain perfumes, coffee, my boyfriend, and of course, his baby pillow! (I'm telling you, one of these days, I'm so going to steal that baby pillow! Just you wait and see!)

Examples of things that fall into the stench category would include rubbish, certain women's perfume, Indian, garlic, and women. Yes, women! Scent Of A Woman my foot! It's more like Stench Of A Woman! I know a lot of straight men would beg to differ but honestly, I have to tell you that (to me) women have the strongest stench that is almost equivalent to that of a garlic, or and Indian's body odor. Things are even worse when they are having their period or ovulating! I'm not kidding you! I know that's about the time where most straight men would get an erection just by smelling her hair but for me, it's like a nightmare! (Sorry girls.)

I know some of you girls out there would probably think that I'm the only jerk who thinks that women stink. Well, let me tell you this. I have a friend, who actually confided in me that he too thinks that women stink! You have no idea how happy I was to hear that! At least I now know that I'm not alone on this.

Now I'm not saying that every single woman out there smells like garlic. Some don't smell half as bad, some managed to cover off their smell with a dash of perfume, but unfortunately, although people say that women has the best in 'taste', I think that there are some women out there are probably smell-deaf! I kid you not! They actually managed to splash on half a bottle of perfume, which doesn't already match them to begin with, that after combining with their body odor becomes a mixture of something like a concoction stench of garlic + Indian + rubbish dump! And trust me, you can tell when one of this people walk by: she would actually leave a trail of her not-so-pleasant-smelling "perfume" behind. I'm sure all of you have experienced this before.

Of course, that's not all. Some of you might be thinking that I'm joking, but let me tell you something: Don't think I didn't catch the "test-fart" you people release! You know what I'm talking about! If you wanna fart, go to a toilet for goodness sake! Don't do one of those "test-fart" thing! Or if you really have to do it, do it loud and proud with an "excuse me". If you're in a car, at least have the decency to wind down the window before letting it out! Do you know how hard it is to hold my breath until every other in car sniffs in the polluted oxygen and gave me newly recycled air to breathe on?

[Dummies' Note: Basically when you're around people (not alone) and you really have to fart so much so that your stomach is starting to ache you let out a small amount of gas in hopes of it being a quiet or non-smelly fart. If it smells or is a blastus you hold it back, but if it's a quiet one you walk around and pass the gas in a discreet fashion. That is call a "test fart".]

[Author's Note: I'm not making this up! It's true! This phrase actually exists!]

When it comes to smell, I really am very particular. Especially my room. I can't sleep if I find any other smell than mine on the sheets, unless it's boyfriend's. Whenever someone stays over for the night, that's it! Time to change my sheets. I get even more neurotic when the guests I have over are women. I'm not saying that I have to sanitarize the whole room but I get even more particular, as the smell they tend to leave behind is much stronger than those of a man. Of course, I wouldn't really have to worry about this problem any longer. Cause after this post comes out, I doubt that I would still have any female friend left.

jessism © 30052007